LO having hard time putting herself to sleep. Any tips?

[saintelizabeth]

Hi ladies! I've finally come over to the dark side   I didn't see any posts about this, but if there are I apologize in advance. DD is 5 weeks old today. For her age I have no complaints about her night time routine. 30 minutes before her last bottle we give her a bath, play music, massage with lotion and put her swaddling sleep sack on. She's usually pretty good about going down between 8:30 - 9:30. She wakes up every 3 hours and is up for good at 7am. She doesn't have routine nap times yet.

We are having a few sleep issues i'm slowly working on right now. The main issue we're having right now is her ability to put herself to sleep. She will only fall asleep in someones arms. She prefers to be rocked, but if she is tired enough she will pass out just laying in your arms. I've been trying to put her down when she is falling sleep (but not completely asleep) and it has been a struggle. As soon as she is put down she wakes up immediately. Letting her cry it out isn't an option for us. I've tried swaddling, pacifier, white noise, dark room and various combinations. So far nothing works. Thank god she can put herself back to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Her struggle is during the day and when she's put down for the night. 

Did anyone else have a similar problem at this age? Does anyone have any tips that helped your LO learn to fall sleep on better on their own?

[danisgossipgirl]

I wouldn't consider this a problem at 5 weeks. 5 months sure. I know we're supposed to be encouraging good habits but 5 weeks is tiny!! I literally am not even thinking about this at almost 7 weeks.

[pooky08]

My LO is seven weeks and he needs to be held to fall asleep, unless he's in his car seat and we are driving. I see nothing wrong with this at his age.

Your baby is crying because she needs something. It might just be the comfort and safety of your arms. She's still adjusting to life on the outside, and will be for a while. Enjoy the cuddles and snuggles.

[raechay]

LO is almost 7 weeks and he goes to bed pretty much whenever he falls asleep in the living room with us after around 11pm. This is probably late for some people but my work schedule is 3-11p and H has 24 hour shifts so we kind of work around me. LO doesn't really like to go down but we make it work.

You said you're putting her down right before she falls asleep but isn't totally asleep yet. Mine goes down much faster and better if I wait to put him down once he is already about 5-10 minutes into a good sleep cycle, then he doesn't wake himself up due to positional change.

[nbateman5]

We were dealing with the same issue, my LO sorta grew into her ability to put herself to sleep around 7 weeks. We were rocking/bouncing her to sleep until a couple weeks ago. I put her down at night once while she was tired but awake and it took her 15 minutes but she eventually drifted off my herself without crying. So I started doing it every night and after that was successful we moved to doing this for naps in the crib too and so far so good. We use a swaddle, white noise and recently we added a soother (one of those light and sound things that attaches to crib). She'll stare at it until she falls asleep or until it turns itself off after 20 min. Might wanna give one a try to see if it'll help!! They're looking for comfort when falling asleep so it's understandable why they don't just fall asleep on their own since the beginning. Good luck!

[rayray007]

Well I'll be the UO here. I have two babies to get to sleep so it's been important from the beginning that I can put them down awake and they fall asleep mostly on their own. I'd say keep trying and be consistent. Put her down when drowsy. Do it slowly and keep a hand on her for a minute. Keep shushing. If it doesn't work, pick her up and settle her and try again. There will be some nights where you'll just give in and rock her to sleep, but give it at least one try every night I'd say. I also always say "shhh sleepy time" right before I put them down. It's just a habit but I think it also helps cue them that it's bed time (or will one day).

[abenson3]

I wouldn't worry to much. With DD#1 we put her to sleep in our arms until 10 months, at which point it was taking over an hour and she was fighting us the whole time. Little did we know, she was trying to tell us to just put her in bed. After 2 nights of very loose sleep training, we would do a bed time routine then put her in bed. So even after many months of a "bad habit" they will eventually learn to fall asleep on their own.

[saintelizabeth]

Thank you ladies! I feel much better. I don't want to instill any bad sleep habits, but at the same time I'm going back to work soon and I want to get as much cuddle time in with her as possible. I need to realize that I can only dictate so much and ultimately she will let me know when she is ready. I will continue to put her down while shes drowsy once or twice a day, and if she isn't having it then we will stop trying for the day. I'm not going to worry too much about it. Eventually she put herself to sleep

[jennielee123]

Feb 11, 2015 18:24:19 GMT -5 Miss Killjoy said:

My baby is 8 weeks old tomorrow and I'm still just putting her "to bed" whenever she falls asleep after 9 PM. Sometimes that's 9 PM, sometimes it's more like 11:30. She's too young to impose a schedule on and crying it out isn't an option at this age - if she's crying, it's because she needs something, not because she's manipulating.

We do a bedtime routine at the same time each night, and after that we aren't playing with her or anything stimulating, but if she's awake - well, she's awake.

I might be doing it wrong, I have no idea.

If you're doing it wrong then so am I, because this is pretty much word for word how we do it. Every night it's a different time, and we are fine with that. For us, it's much less stressful. 

[meether]

We rocked my first daughter to sleep until she didn't need it, I think it was around 9-10 mos. Bedtime was always easy and stress free, you rock her for 5-10 mins and she's out, feeling safe and secure. With dd2, she would like to sleep in my arms but gets startled every time I move. She's fine falling asleep on her own during the day and at nights, she never cries. If she needs something while falling asleep, she just calls like 'uh uh uh' and I check her out. I'm hoping she becomes a cuddler because I like having her next to me so I can easily check up on her. 

[nanamama]

You can't spoil a baby. ESPECIALLY that young. The "rule" on putting a baby down to sleep when they are almost asleep (drowsy) works best at 3mo+. Any younger than that it usually works best putting them down when they are OUT. Limp limbs and everything.

Daytime sleeping is different usually. More going on, light, sounds, stimulation. It's a different routine all together and your LO can sense that. Night time is quieter, darker, softer sounds, different routine. Sometimes it's harder for babies to settle down for the night. It just took my LO 1.5 hours to settle for the night. Normally after diaper, jammies, swaddle, and feeding she passes out. Tonight...she screamed when I wasn't close and rocking/moving her. Sleep is a fickle subject with babies.

I'd say keep up a routine and put her to bed when she is sound asleep. Eventually you will be able to work with not having to rock her to sleep every night. But it IS normal to do that for many many months as PP have said. She is still so so tiny. Enjoy the snuggles. Don't rush/push her to do something she isn't ready to do yet. It'll come.

[bdk0186]

Somewhat off subject, but when I am home alone with my DD who is 8 weeks, I have a very difficult time getting her to fall asleep and stay asleep after her first night feeding. She is already swaddled, she just fights it so bad.

[kboyet]

Feb 11, 2015 18:30:26 GMT -5 @kc295905 said:

My LO is just starting to be able to put himself to sleep at 9 weeks. I am just trying to put him down in his crib during the day when he is in an awake state. I literally just had success today only though so were still new at this. Nighttime still nursing to sleep.

Same for us. We are 10 weeks today and this is the second day in a row he's fallen asleep in his crib for a nap even if it is a short period of time. We let him fuss a little (I can now tell it's his tired fuss and not an all out cry) and he has fallen asleep shortly after. I agree with pp that 5weeks seems early for this and at 10 weeks in happy with the 20 minutes he's fallen asleep on his own.

[kboyet]

Also- did anyone else get the Lucie's List email about how important it is for our LO to fall asleep on their own and that it's a learned behavior. Ahhh so much pressure!