The woman you want to be is rich.

[yogini kiki]

I mean, I don't think she is necessarily wrong....but I sense anger here. Maybe anger at her own previous naivete?

[theseaword]

Of course I want to be rich. I have always valued money. My nana told me my best friend was my wallet (also my sister. It's a tie).

[yogini kiki]

I also don't like when people use "You" statements vs. "I" statements. Lol.

[yogini kiki]

I guess I am feeling sort of....duh? Why are you mad? Didn't you know this before?

[marygracerich]

I will admit I didn't read the entire thing because it was too long. From what I did read I don't necessarily agree.
The only thing I don't have that I want is to buy a house. I don't have to be rich for that. At some point MH and I will be able to afford it. It's just going to take time. I am very happy with who I am as a person and I don't think I need to be rich to be happier. Would more money be nice? Sure! But I love my life and would not say that I want to be a rich woman.

[Deleted]

I think I'm following her point and I think I agree.

Money makes things easier. What she seems to be saying is that money is the means to get you the life you thought you wanted. I'd agree with that too.

[Deleted]

It's hard, though, to balance that worldview against careers that are lower paying but that society NEEDS to remain functioning.

It feels a little like Trump saying he's smart for not paying taxes. If so, some dummy has to pay those taxes to keep everything going.

[theseaword]

Sept 29, 2016 11:20:03 GMT -5 @bruxannie said:

I think I'm following her point and I think I agree.

Money makes things easier. What she seems to be saying is that money is the means to get you the life you thought you wanted. I'd agree with that too.

And some of us are like, no shit. If you thought otherwise, that's on you, sucka.

[yogini kiki]

Don't get me wrong...I agree with her. I do want to be rich. I just always knew that was required and that the choices I have made won't support that.

[broccolisgirl]

Sept 29, 2016 11:26:41 GMT -5 yogini kiki said:

Don't get me wrong...I agree with her. I do want to be rich. I just always knew that was required and that the choices I have made won't support that.

I think personal experience comes into play a lot here. It feels like she's just acknowledging things I've known since high school.

[bunnyfungo]

I need her to define rich for me. Because some of those things you don't need to be rich for. You just have to be smart. Unless she means middle class.

[whoopster]

"And that is as much true for the Farmer’s-Market-Reclaimed-Wood-Minimalism Queen as it is for the more traidtional, Louboutin-wielding fashionista."

This resonates with me. I follow so many of these "Farmer's Market" type, home decorating bloggers on IG and while I think it's attainable (for me), it's really not. The pieces they're photographing or showing are like $$$$.

And their budget friendly renovations are laughable.


But, yes, I actually see where she is coming from. Probably because of my own naivety though so that's on me.

[tuscanlatte]

I wish I could find it but I read a study (for Canada), that showed that income makes a huge difference in day to day happiness, up until $65,000 a year. Beyond that it made zero difference. So essentially yes money will make you happier if you have a bit of security and the freedom to make actual choices, but beyond that it's a personality thing whether you can be happy or not. I think I agree with that.

this line is making me feel weird:
Our options are to throw away the idea of what a woman’s fullest expression actually is, or to get rich enough to embody it. And after two years of thinking about it, I’m honestly not sure which one is easier.

I mean even making minimum wage I didn't have to throw away my idea of a woman's fullest expression. I think that idea is pretty individual to make a statement like that.

[silverspoon]

Yes, I want to be rich.

This isn't exactly a new idea brought on by watching movies and advertisements. I'm pretty sure that a lot of people for a very long time have had the thought that, gee, wouldn't life be easier with more money.

[cadien]

Sept 29, 2016 11:59:11 GMT -5 tuscanlatte said:

I wish I could find it but I read a study (for Canada), that showed that income makes a huge difference in day to day happiness, up until $65,000 a year. Beyond that it made zero difference. So essentially yes money will make you happier if you have a bit of security and the freedom to make actual choices, but beyond that it's a personality thing whether you can be happy or not. I think I agree with that.

this line is making me feel weird:
Our options are to throw away the idea of what a woman’s fullest expression actually is, or to get rich enough to embody it. And after two years of thinking about it, I’m honestly not sure which one is easier.

I mean even making minimum wage I didn't have to throw away my idea of a woman's fullest expression. I think that idea is pretty individual to make a statement like that.

I've seen the same study. Although the articles for the U.S. say $75,000. And it makes total sense to me.

[theseaword]

Sept 29, 2016 12:20:58 GMT -5 cadien said:

Sept 29, 2016 11:59:11 GMT -5 tuscanlatte said:

I wish I could find it but I read a study (for Canada), that showed that income makes a huge difference in day to day happiness, up until $65,000 a year. Beyond that it made zero difference. So essentially yes money will make you happier if you have a bit of security and the freedom to make actual choices, but beyond that it's a personality thing whether you can be happy or not. I think I agree with that.

this line is making me feel weird:
Our options are to throw away the idea of what a woman’s fullest expression actually is, or to get rich enough to embody it. And after two years of thinking about it, I’m honestly not sure which one is easier.

I mean even making minimum wage I didn't have to throw away my idea of a woman's fullest expression. I think that idea is pretty individual to make a statement like that.

I've seen the same study. Although the articles for the U.S. say $75,000. And it makes total sense to me.

I feel like that stat should be amended to state "unless you need childcare for your kid(s), in which case multiple that number significantly. No, keep multiplying. More."

[Deleted]

I think some young people chose careers without thinking about money and run into problems where their student loans are 3 figures and their salary is 20K. Just general financial education at that age would help a lot.

She sounds like she needs some better role models and that most of her current role models are bloggers with rich husbands. is she a mom because there is no way I can throw myself into anything 100% and still be a mom unless the thing I am throwing myself into is parenting. There has to be some balance, which is why I am thinking she doesn't have kids.

But yes if I were independently wealthy I could do my hobby as much as humanely possible, for sure.

[abvintage]

I read an article once about how having a job that makes you happy / following your dreams is bullshit. It basically said get a job that is going to pay the bills plus allow you to have hobbies. It's pretty much the same concept.

Happiness means (to most) not having to worry about things and being able to indulge.

[k3am]

I'm rich in spirit. Visa doesn't give a shit about spirit though.

[bunnyfungo]

Sept 29, 2016 12:20:58 GMT -5 cadien said:

Sept 29, 2016 11:59:11 GMT -5 tuscanlatte said:

I wish I could find it but I read a study (for Canada), that showed that income makes a huge difference in day to day happiness, up until $65,000 a year. Beyond that it made zero difference. So essentially yes money will make you happier if you have a bit of security and the freedom to make actual choices, but beyond that it's a personality thing whether you can be happy or not. I think I agree with that.

this line is making me feel weird:
Our options are to throw away the idea of what a woman’s fullest expression actually is, or to get rich enough to embody it. And after two years of thinking about it, I’m honestly not sure which one is easier.

I mean even making minimum wage I didn't have to throw away my idea of a woman's fullest expression. I think that idea is pretty individual to make a statement like that.

I've seen the same study. Although the articles for the U.S. say $75,000. And it makes total sense to me.

Is that household income? Or individual? Because, yeah. What theseaword said.

[seadragon2013]

Sept 29, 2016 14:02:15 GMT -5 @ftwr said:

Sept 29, 2016 13:33:44 GMT -5 @winomite said:

This girl also decided to get her PHD because she wanted to be called Dr. and then decided that she no longer cared about that degree.

So my general ire is validated.

Huh. Her blog on choosing an alternate career after a PhD seemed to give pretty good advice to me, though she comes off as self-absorbed in all of her writing.

[McBenny]

I wanted to see her side or point of view. I was thinking at first that this must be regional but no, it really seems to be her, it's her issue.

She seems focused on this effortlessly thing and I never think anyone is doing anything effortlessly. I guess for me, I don't really recalling looking outward for my female aspiration.

She is the one focusing on frayed end and talking about not being good enough but at whose measure?

Maybe she is resentful that she did or did not have someone to push her up. She seems to feel there are universal standards as to what is envied? I guess I am seeing this as the white woman blaming "the man."

[♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪]

My opinion is that the author will never actually be happy and wants the reader to know that.

[cadien]

Sept 29, 2016 12:52:00 GMT -5 abvintage said:

I read an article once about how having a job that makes you happy / following your dreams is bullshit. It basically said get a job that is going to pay the bills plus allow you to have hobbies. It's pretty much the same concept.

Disagree.

My career doesn't pay particularly well (like the very top of your field means around $125k/year) but the fulfillment I get out of it is a trade I'm very happy to have made.

[cadien]

Okay, I finally had time to read this and no. She's correct about how she lets marketing control her aspirations, but that's not nearly as universal as she claims.

I used to think that all of the things I wanted as a woman — cooking dinner each night, traveling, having children and a career at the same time, living in a well-appointed home that I loved being in — were simply lifestyle choices, and that being budget-savvy would be my way to get them without ever seeing a particularly high number on a paycheck. But what I’ve learned since starting TFD is that it’s quite the opposite: the version of all of these things that I had in my head were put there and maintained by women who were rich enough to pursue them as a life choice.

That IS a lifestyle choice. I can check all of those boxes and on a five-figure household income, not six or seven.

[cadien]

Sept 29, 2016 13:16:58 GMT -5 bunnyfungo said:

Sept 29, 2016 12:20:58 GMT -5 cadien said:

I've seen the same study. Although the articles for the U.S. say $75,000. And it makes total sense to me.

Is that household income? Or individual? Because, yeah. What theseaword said.

Individual.

[Deleted]

Sept 29, 2016 11:19:45 GMT -5 sweetpotato said:

I definitely want to be rich.

I'm a bit scared of being extremely rush because everyone I know that is at that level is unhappy and disatisfied with life. I'm ok just being comfortably well off and don't have a desire to be super rich.

[cadien]

It's definitely no guarantee. All those lottery winners, for starters.

I do know wealthy people who are content but there are so many additional factors. They usually grew up with it, for example. Those who have had to adjust to it don't always do as well.

[cadien]

Now I have that Calloway song in my head.

Speaking of things Millennials don't know.

[cadien]

Sept 29, 2016 16:39:22 GMT -5 tLex said:

Sept 29, 2016 16:17:53 GMT -5 cadien said:

Disagree.

My career doesn't pay particularly well (like the very top of your field means around $125k/year) but the fulfillment I get out of it is a trade I'm very happy to have made.

....125k a year is more than enough to live comfortably and pursue hobbies.
And if you also love the job well then bingo, you are winning!

Absolutely. But that's top of the field. After 20 odd years experience. People start around $30, with a graduate degree. And I started fairly recently.

There are enough fields that pay way more than that after 20 years that I still wouldn't call it well-paid.Save