Welcoming new foster placements

[butlerfan]

Any tips on welcoming an almost one year old and a two year siblings into your home?

Our licensing is this Friday(got rushed/bumped up to take them) and we are getting them sometime next week. 

We are super anxious about being ready now for home study (vs end of October) and getting kids now vs December/January time. 

I know everything will be fine but I'm trying to make sure we have everything done for the home study and then also be ready for the kids.

[spooko]

No specific tips, but I always try and smile a lot when I meet new kids. I have RBF and make an effort to seem more approachable and friendly with small kids.

[ceejay]

I know I have some blogs pinned on my Pinterest foster care board about things to remember/do the first day/night/week of having a new placement. I'll go check that and post some of those that were helpful to us.

We only had about 2 hours to get ready after we got the call for our placement, so I remember that H quickly cleaned and turned on all of the lights in our house (I don't know why I remember that but we usually keep the lights off during the day so it stood out to me.. haha). We only had a handful of toys at the time but we got them all out and put them in the front room of our house so our then two year old could see them when he came in. He clung to the caseworker when they first arrived but later felt comfortable enough to start playing with some of the toys. We made a very kid friendly dinner that night (hot dogs and macaroni and cheese!) and tried not to have too many expectations... Just let him explore the house and tried to be as friendly and welcoming as we could.

[butlerfan]

ceejay...that sounds just like what we were thinking of serving for food.

If we have time before they come I may make cookies as well.

[butlerfan]

Oct 10, 2016 11:00:28 GMT -5 spooko said:

No specific tips, but I always try and smile a lot when I meet new kids. I have RBF and make an effort to seem more approachable and friendly with small kids.

LOL!

[ceejay]

Some blogs:

What to do the FIRST night

The first night in foster care: what you need to know

[Deleted]

I would recommend having food out when they arrive and watching a movie the first night. You might also plan to sleep near them the first couple nights. Maybe all out together in the living room. When we took a 2 year old earlier this year, he was so anxious and cried hysterically if we left the room for the first few weeks. And he would wake up in the middle of the night and check to see if we were still there. Once he started daycare, getting to eat something right when we arrived helped him be okay with staying there too. So I think it serves as a good distraction. I would also recommend either sticking to whatever routine they are used to or if they are coming straight from their parents to your home with no routine, get one going quickly and stick to it. I think this helped our two year old immensely. I have had a two (now three year old) and his infant brother since January so feel free to PM me if you have more questions along the way! We were his second foster home, though he was only at the first one for about 3 weeks.

[redandblue]

Congrats! I agree with the above suggestions and would add that if possible you be able to speak with whoever the children are currently living with (if another foster home) or their worker (if coming from biological family...assuming they are coming from another foster family given the adjusted timeline...or any time line for that matter). See what interests the 2 year may have (the one year old will most likely have some typical interests). Also the first night may not be the most difficult, as it may seem novel, but be prepared for a few days later for emotional reactions. Lots of love, hugs and smiles will go a long way!

[butlerfan]

Thank you all. Update here is that there was court last week and the kids are going to other family members and we are not getting placed with them anymore. We understand but are disappointed as well but we still are getting licensed soon so that is good at least!

[shemarie82]

butlerfan, That happened to us a couple times right as we were getting to the licensing point. It was disappointing to not get the kids, but the close calls gave us a chance to get in that mindset and know what we still needed to get done before having our first placement.

[butlerfan]

shemarie82 yeah, like our licensing worker stated...this is good practice. But apparently about 5 different people asked how we were doing which his nice to hear. It still sucks but gives us more time to prep as well since we pushed up in dates. So while we still have stuff to do we have taken a few days to relax and now will work a little bit each night to finish up things-put second convertible crib together, hang up the rest of the decorations, bring in more toys, and fix the minor things that need to be done.

This also allows us to get more of the outside prep done that we need to do before winter of mowing again, starting to bag the leaves, mow down the veggie garden, etc.

[Deleted]

butlerfan, that is so frustrating. I remember the first call we got was for two tween girls and we were told they would be coming that afternoon. I left work early and bought a bunch of kid friendly groceries and tween girl hygiene supplies, hair products, etc...It got to be 3 pm and we hadn't heard from anyone in the department. I finally called and they told us they decided not place the girls in foster care at all and hadn't someone told us that already? It was so disappointing and really frustrating because we ended up with all boys and didn't need ANY of that stuff.

[shemarie82]

As we all know, DHHS isn't always forthcoming with information to foster parents. Now that I am a part of the Foster Closet, I am considered a "community partner" as well, and get a little bit more of the story on things.

This was new information to me last week. When a child comes into care, the case workers call people within their county to see if there is a placement available. If there is not, they call every agency within 75 miles to see if they can get a placement for them. If they still cannot get placements, that is when the kids are made available to private agencies. Which explains why people get calls and then the kids aren't available. It seems a little like first come first served.

[butlerfan]

Oct 25, 2016 13:11:57 GMT -5 shemarie82 said:

As we all know, DHHS isn't always forthcoming with information to foster parents. Now that I am a part of the Foster Closet, I am considered a "community partner" as well, and get a little bit more of the story on things.

This was new information to me last week. When a child comes into care, the case workers call people within their county to see if there is a placement available. If there is not, they call every agency within 75 miles to see if they can get a placement for them. If they still cannot get placements, that is when the kids are made available to private agencies. Which explains why people get calls and then the kids aren't available. It seems a little like first come first served.

Helpful information! These kids were already in foster care but it wasn't working out where they were.

[shemarie82]

Oct 25, 2016 20:02:53 GMT -5 butlerfan said:

Oct 25, 2016 13:11:57 GMT -5 shemarie82 said:

As we all know, DHHS isn't always forthcoming with information to foster parents. Now that I am a part of the Foster Closet, I am considered a "community partner" as well, and get a little bit more of the story on things.

This was new information to me last week. When a child comes into care, the case workers call people within their county to see if there is a placement available. If there is not, they call every agency within 75 miles to see if they can get a placement for them. If they still cannot get placements, that is when the kids are made available to private agencies. Which explains why people get calls and then the kids aren't available. It seems a little like first come first served.

Helpful information! These kids were already in foster care but it wasn't working out where they were.

This might be the same for kids in care already. We got a call on Friday for siblings from out of county, but then they went somewhere else. It is like they put out the bat signal to see who bites first.

[butlerfan]

shemarie82 we knew our had a court date to potentially go with other family members but the county didn't think it was likely but that is what happened.

[Deleted]

Yes that's exactly what they do. They just keep going down the list and calling people and seeing who says "yes" first. That was how we got our boys. They had recently come into foster care but it was right before the holidays so nobody was taking placements. We are in a different county than their parents and the previous foster family was a in a different county than both us and their parents. butlerfan, it sounds like they just wanted to have a back up ready. I think I shared this earlier the thread, but that was what happened to us with our first call. They hadn't even decided for sure to place the kids in foster care but wanted to have someone lined up. And then the kids didn't come into care at all.