Post by heartpresidents on Oct 10, 2016 16:19:15 GMT -5
Do you ever just sit back and think "Is this real life? Did my baby really die? The most horrible thing that can happen to a person...it happened to me?" Seriously? How can it be? Over 2 years later and I just can't wrap my head around it.
Post by iheartbroccoli on Oct 10, 2016 18:27:38 GMT -5
All. The. Time.
I still expect to wake up and find this to be a nightmare. Sometimes I wonder if I the pregnancy was just a dream, because that makes more sense than Theo dying.
Post by fikafairy67 on Oct 10, 2016 21:20:16 GMT -5
I absolutely feel this way, like I'm in some alternate reality.
And then all the "why me" starts, and it just doesn't feel fair. I know that everyone here may or may not feel this way, but we don't even know if we will ever be able to safely bring home OUR baby someday.
I feel very fortunate that we have had no fertility issues, but to have such a severe isoimmunization issue that will probably have a 50% chance of affecting any other children just doesn't seem fair. On top of that, it was the daughter we had so desperately hoped for...
Post by wrenofthesea on Oct 10, 2016 22:22:10 GMT -5
Yes, yes, and yes. Especially lately I have been feeling this way. This past week was what should have been her second birthday and it was just a real struggle this year. I have also been having trouble recently with accepting that this will always be my life, it just seems so tiring and overwhelming.
Post by heartpresidents on Oct 11, 2016 7:33:37 GMT -5
Thanks ladies. There's some comfort I guess in just knowing I'm not alone in it.
And wrenofthesea, yes! The thought of this being forever just doesn't process and feels impossible. How can I possibly live the entire rest of my life without my Lincoln? It's exhausting.
fikafairy67, it definitely isn't fair. There's no way around that, and it sucks. It makes me crazy when people try to make it better with "Well, at least...". Sometimes it's just not fair, and it's ok for you to feel that way. Sending lots of hugs!!
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13 BFP #2 8/7/14 Rainbow DS born 4/2/15 Started adoption process July 2016 BF#3 8/29/16 DD2 born 4/21/17
Since we're coming up on his due date (Nov 1st), it's been hitting me hard. I should having a newborn at home or very shortly and instead I'm wondering if I'll even been able to get pregnant again due to complications from his birth. It feels like a bad dream I just can't wake up from.
Jan '13: TI w/letrozole, BFP, DS born Oct '13 Dec '15: IUI#1, BFN Jan '16: Cancelled IUI (too many follicles) Feb '16: IUI#2, BFP, DS2 stillborn June'16 @22 weeks We love you baby boy! Aug '16: D&C for retained placenta Oct '16: Removal of interuterine adhesions Jan '17: IUI#3 No ovulation?!? Feb '17: IUI#4, BFN IVF sometime this summer
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