considering kinship adoption

[pka2017]

Hi all, I'm new here, so I'm still getting oriented and reading through old threads. My spouse and I were recently contacted by a relative who is interested in having us adopt her baby (we think she is likely 18 weeks along at this point). We have not yet spoken with her by phone (she texted us, we set up a phone call, she didn't call). It's all really early and I have no idea which way this will progress, but I'm looking for resources to help me wrap my head around it. Are there any books or websites you'd recommend? I think I see at least one person on here who has done a kinship adoption-- are there more? I'm interested to hear any and all perspectives.

As context, we have two kids in elementary school, were hoping to have a third kid but haven't had any luck so far. We can only really afford to have one more kid, so if we adopt this baby we would discontinue IF treatments. 

[redandblue]

Welcome and good luck! It is such an interesting journey! There is a whole list of recommended books and website on the pinned thread. I don't have any experience with kinship placement, but I believe spooko does. The board is relatively quiet here, but feel free to ask any questions!

[spooko]

Hi there. I think our situation was a little different in that it was not a privately placed kinship adoption right from jump street. My sister did have custody of DS for some time before I got involved and before DCF made an official case. Since we had to wind our way through the court system, there were plenty of additional challenges.

There's certainly an unique aspect to kinship adoptions, especially when it's close family involved (like it being my sister as BM). At this point of it being so early in the game, I'm not sure there's much you can do. If this family member is serious and ready to move forward, I imagine the next step would be to contact a family law attorney and see about arranging a private adoption, since that would be the most straightforward. I would also think you'd need to complete a home study, so you'll have to pursue an agency to do the legwork there.

Best of luck to you and the expectant parents as you figure out where to go from here.

[pka2017]

Thanks so much for the responses. We were waiting to actually talk to her before engaging a lawyer, but we might go ahead and talk to one. We heard yesterday through family members that the bio father has not yet been told about the baby, but that the bio mom (sorry, I don't know the appropriate terms yet) ran into him at a store and they got into a fight and she slashed his tires... which is all just to say we'll probably also try to get her some legal support, given the state of their relationship and the fact that he has (reportedly) been abusive to her in the past. She's in a different state, which makes things tricky.

Not to draw activity away from this board, but if there are other venues that are more active, I'd love to know about them. I'm not finding much info specific to kinship adoption of an infant just by googling.

[spooko]

Kinship, specifically, is a hard area to find resources. You'd probably have more luck if you were researching the how-tos of private infant adoption.

And I think everyone on this board is pretty understanding of still learning terms. Since you're open to figuring out which are the most appropriate, until the birth parents' rights are terminated, they are considered "expectant" parents, or EPs for short. Best of luck in however this turns out.