Intro and Qs about first IEP meeting

[seadragon2013]

Hi everyone,

I'm Seadragon, mom to 3.5 year old A. A has been struggling for the past year with social interactions, separation from me, and pragmatic language. His struggles became very obvious during a whirlwind cross-country move last fall. Lots of tantrums around transitions, refusal to interact (or really acknowledge) with adults other than me and DH, odd interactions with peers, sensory seeking behaviors like spinning and swinging, sensory overwhelm in loud environments with lots of people, behavioral rigidity around meals and daily routines, and funny language patterns.

We're in NoVa and have been going through the school evaluation process since last Spring (crazy tantrum, absolute terror of the very sweet pedi). We received our eval results a few weeks ago. He is showing many behaviors consistent with ASD (we are on a waitlist to get in with a dev pedi, so no medical diagnosis yet). He had a huge amount of difficulty attending to the activities he was asked to do in the eval (he would start spinning every minute or two), so it was hard to get a complete picture of what was going on cognitively. Regardless, it is clear that his difficulty attending and engaging is getting in the way of his ability to learn. He is also quite delayed in socially/emotionally in terms of imaginative play, taking turns, and engaging in cooperative play. He has trouble with pragmatic language (a fair amount of echolalia and difficulty with back and forth conversations), but often speaks in 7-9 word sentences to me and DH and has a great vocab.

He's an incredibly sweet little dude. He is full of cuddles for DH and me and is very eager to please all adults. He is also curious and loves doing sensory activities. He started preschool this fall and his teachers love him and have been working closely with us during the eval process. He's the sort of kid whose happiness and energy is infectious on a good day. He loves Star Wars, Curious George, the space shuttle, hiking, and playing with trucks in dirt/sand. He notices when DH and I are feeling down and asks if we are okay.

Anyway, since this is already a tl:dr, we have his IEP meeting next Wednesday. He has qualified for 3 different placements that we will need to choose between: 1) push in/pull out therapies at his current preschool, 2) a half day preschool program for kids with special needs where he can receive therapies (we may be able to combine afternoon sessions with his morning preschool, but he wouldn't get ABA), or 3) a full time preschool classroom for kids with ASD with very high adult:child ratios where ABA is provided.

We love his current preschool - his teachers and the admins are basically an ECE dream. He comes home skipping and actually tells us a bit about his day. I'm worried, though, that they can't really give him everything he needs even with extra resources. I'm inclined to see if we can combine his preschool with the general special ed program, but I'm also worried about him missing out on ABA in the ASD classroom.

I don't really know what to expect from our IEP meeting. Do you all have advice on ways to prepare beyond closely reading his eval report? I'm also torn on what I think about his potential placements. I'd love to hear any experiences/thoughts from those of you who have BTDT!

[Deleted]

DS is school age and has speech/ hearing issues, not ASD, so there maybe some differences in the process.

Our first IEP meeting took place at this school. The VP, Social worker, Hearing Itinerant teacher, 2 Speech teachers, nurse, and psychologist, and regular teacher attended. It was a bit intimidating to sit there with maybe 8 people there. They followed a process and ran the meeting very business like. There was paper work to sign to approve the IEP going forward and to waive 10 day requirements of notice etc. We were doing it on a faster time line. I brought the speech results from children's and since it was very comprehensive and current, they decided to do that rather than do their own. I also brought his hearing test. The psychologist and hearing itinerant teachers then let me know that they would do their own analysis.

Another meeting was planned to go over his medical history with the nurse since the medical was the reason for the hearing loss and the hearing loss was the reason for the speech issues. And we also had a meeting with the social worker. After those meetings then we got back together for the final IEP meeting where we reviewed the results. I was also referred to a speech and hearing clinic that the school paid for to see if he qualified for an FM system, which fortunately/ unfortunately he did not qualify for. And they wrote goals etc.

In the final IEP meeting we reviewed the goals and set up the time frame for services which was 2 times a week speech for 20 min and an hour a month (2 30 min sessions) of listening skills. There were some speech goals, but honestly he needs his hearing aids to fix the speech, and the school does not provide hearing aids. So we are doing that through the insurance. That speaks to the process, and someone else can speak to the ASD portion.

[mamaturtle]

Welcome to our board!

With DS we did a preschool with pull out therapies and mainstream/general ed setting the first 2 years of preschool in the morning. DS would go to daycare afterwards in the afternoon to get more socialization.

The last year of preschool (DS was in preschool 3 years) DS was in a sped class with therapies at the beginning of the school year and was mainstreamed gradually throughout the school year to spending the majority of class there. We did some daycare time after school for socialization and then ABA therapies after.

Is that an ABA school placement in the third choice?

[seadragon2013]

mamaturtle, yes, the third option is a full time (26 hr/week) ABA and VB based program. According to the evaluators, it is considered a more restrictive environment than the general special ed classrooms. We would not be able to keep him in his current preschool program, in addition to the ABA classroom, because of scheduling conflicts.

In the special ed classroom, he would receive social skills and play therapy, but no ABA as far as I can tell.

The special ed teacher coordinating his IEP called me this morning after a final classroom observation. I am now realizing I have a lot of questions for her, so I think I will be spending the evening drafting an email about them. Our evaluators also mentioned that we can visit the two types of classrooms, so hopefully I can also arrange that before our meeting.

[mrsbuttinski]

Welcome to the best board you never wanted to join.

TL;DR. ABA- all the way.

I wish I had not piled on so many intense services early on- said no parent of a successful kid on spectrum ever.

The best generic IEP advise is to read the book Emotions to Advocacy so you understand IDEA and the IEP process and can be a full member of the CSE/CST.

A more specific piece of advice would be to think about the goals written and consider which of these settings would best deliver the kinds of support and services to meet those goals and be his best self. Try not to get too hung up on which represents the most or least restrictive special education setting. Think, instead, of where you'd like him to be educated in kindie and first. What skills will he need to thrive there that he doesn't have now- which setting is best suited to prepare him for the mainstream as a six?

I appreciate that you don't have a firm dx yet, but your son appears to have the exact sort of impairments and atypical behaviors that result in an ASD dx after an appropriate team eval. BTW, sweet, cuddly, sense of humor, etc don't R/O ASD. Long sentences with mom don't either. In fact, it's a red flag when a child uses language one would expect of a child much older- it's why some presentations of ASD are referred to as "little professors".

Try not to get too hung up on the cognitive testing- it's a snapshot in time. It does not necessarily reflect where he'll be at 8 or 18, but for now the result is an accurate read as it speaks to where he was the day he was tested. Whether his IQ is 80 or 140, he'll need self regulation skills as taught via ABA before he can use his gifts or before he can access and benefit from therapies like social skills and pragmatics support.

I would observe each of those classrooms and try to picture your child in them. Is he engaged with other kids in the current class or does he chat up the teachers? IME, the qualifications of a ECE/Sped teacher are going to be significantly higher than the usual Associates required of traditional preschools. Plus the ABA room staff will understand the different kinds of ASD in a way that the more integrated sped preschool will.

DS has ASD (Aspergers) plus ADHD, dyslexia and GAD. He works, he drives, he is a college senior. I know a lot of boys from his various social skills groups (something we only started when he was 8) on spectrum who have started their school careers in ABA classrooms and self contained settings where behavior and communication are the focus who are thriving now. Almost all of them were fully mainstreamed by 4th, the last by 8th grade. All are currently in college except for the 2 who have already graduated and are working. By high school, you can't tell who started where. The important piece is to put him in the place that will give him the services to be the best version of himself even when you'd rather pick the feel-good option.

[seadragon2013]

Thanks, mrsbuttinski! You have given me a lot to think on. DH and I have accepted that he likely has ASD - our evaluating team was very kind, but firm, when they explained how his results lined up with an ASD diagnosis. It honestly wasn't a surprise, just hard to hear, ya know? I think we both feel a little overwhelmed - I know that I have been feeling a very overprotective of DS since ASD was first mentioned this summer.

I think one of the reasons that I am so hesitant to move DS out of his current preschool is that he struggles so much with transitions. I hate the thought of going through yet another one when he is so happy where he is. You are right, though, that we need to make decisions based on longterm goals and ultimately if the ASD PAC is the best place for him to gain the skills he needs to be his best self, I need to suck it up and support him in that transition.

I will download a copy of Emotions to Advocacy tonight and get started.

[numbbears]

Welcome! It definitely takes some time to take it all in and it's hard to know you're doing the right thing at times. +1 to ABA. It's been a life-changer for DS.