Intro
Nov 3, 2016 1:42:56 GMT -5
Post by addymac on Nov 3, 2016 1:42:56 GMT -5
Hi ladies...
I'm addymac and I've decided to stop lurking. This is probably longer than it needs to be.
My DH & I are 30, im an RN in the neonatal ICU and DH is a 4th year medical student.
My H and I decided we wanted to start a family and thought late winter / spring 2017 would be the perfect time, as he starts residency in June / July 2017. It would give him time to be a SAHD that he'd never otherwise have, with residency and fellowships, and life happening. We set up his 4th year of medical school schedule around having this baby in February or March.
So, we got to work and were thrilled when I got pregnant pretty quickly, due middle of February. We were so excited.
We went in at 5 weeks and even though I told the office scheduler that was too early they didn't believe me (I don't have a normal 28 day cycle so I knew I was not as far along as they claimed I was) and so we had to return in a few weeks for a better ultrasound to date it.
At our 8 week ultrasound, it turns out they found multiple cysts on the umbilical cord. As we are both medical professionals, between the info our dr gave us and everything we could find online in medical journals, we realized it had a grim outlook. Cysts on cords happen in about less than 1% of pregnancies and most research has been done on one cyst, and 2+ cysts are even rarer and less studied. In fact, only one study on two cysts vs one cyst has really been done and there were SIX patients with 2+ cysts. Of those six, 4 miscarried, as multiple cysts are associated with a trisomy.
So, we got the genetic screen done. It was a lot of waiting and a lot of sadness. I felt hopeless. I cried every day. I had to wait til I was 10 weeks to get the genetic screen done. Then wait another week and a half to get the results. The screen came back negative! Of course, it could be wrong, and it only checked for trisomy 13,18,21 and sex chromosome abnormalities. But we got the "all clear". Everyone around me told me everything was fine and I "needed to believe in the power of God" and to "stop crying bc I would make the baby sad".
At this point, I had been experiencing awful nausea and was put on zofran. Around 11-12 weeks my symptoms were disappearing, but my H kept saying that's common since the placenta takes over. I thought my boobs were feeling less sore and felt a little smaller. I felt like something was going to be wrong with the baby, despite the negative screen, but H seemed confident in the screen results and that everything would be okay. We decided to "celebrate" by going to Buy Buy Baby and looking around at strollers and cribs. I began to feel excited again and tried to get him to talk names.
Our doctor recommended a second trimester ultrasound since usually benign cysts disappear in the second trimester, so we wanted to see if that would happen, or we'd continue to monitor and assess the situation. We went in on 8/22 when I was 14+4. And there was no heartbeat. And it looked like a small decaying ball on the screen. Their best guess, based on size, was that the baby had died around 12 weeks. I had been carrying a dead baby around for 2+ weeks and my body had no interest in getting rid of it, apparently. So, my dr gave us three options- medicine to take at home, a natural see how it goes, or a d&c, which he highly recommended, based on my GA and body's lack of interest in getting it out.
That night was just awful. My H was still in shock mode and wanted to get out of the house, so we saw a movie. On the walk home I felt a gush and realized my body had finally clued in and I was bleeding bright red blood- a huge amount. I just thought, at least I already know the baby's dead? Otherwise I'd be running to the emergency room. We scheduled the d&c for Thursday 8/25. Worst week of my life.
So what now? Well, once we got the all clear from my dr two weeks post-op, we talked and realized the idea of trying again gave us something to look forward to. Not that a new baby will replace the baby we lost, but helps us move forward.
So far, two cycles down and this blows. I know it hasn't been a long time, I know that, but I still am sad every time I get a BFN and cd1 starts. I miss being pregnant with our baby and bc our dr refused additional genetic testing after the baby died, we have no idea if it can happen again and I'm slightly terrified. And just sad because I really miss our baby and being pregnant every day.
So, that's my story. Way too long, I know. Sorry...
I'm addymac and I've decided to stop lurking. This is probably longer than it needs to be.
My DH & I are 30, im an RN in the neonatal ICU and DH is a 4th year medical student.
My H and I decided we wanted to start a family and thought late winter / spring 2017 would be the perfect time, as he starts residency in June / July 2017. It would give him time to be a SAHD that he'd never otherwise have, with residency and fellowships, and life happening. We set up his 4th year of medical school schedule around having this baby in February or March.
So, we got to work and were thrilled when I got pregnant pretty quickly, due middle of February. We were so excited.
We went in at 5 weeks and even though I told the office scheduler that was too early they didn't believe me (I don't have a normal 28 day cycle so I knew I was not as far along as they claimed I was) and so we had to return in a few weeks for a better ultrasound to date it.
At our 8 week ultrasound, it turns out they found multiple cysts on the umbilical cord. As we are both medical professionals, between the info our dr gave us and everything we could find online in medical journals, we realized it had a grim outlook. Cysts on cords happen in about less than 1% of pregnancies and most research has been done on one cyst, and 2+ cysts are even rarer and less studied. In fact, only one study on two cysts vs one cyst has really been done and there were SIX patients with 2+ cysts. Of those six, 4 miscarried, as multiple cysts are associated with a trisomy.
So, we got the genetic screen done. It was a lot of waiting and a lot of sadness. I felt hopeless. I cried every day. I had to wait til I was 10 weeks to get the genetic screen done. Then wait another week and a half to get the results. The screen came back negative! Of course, it could be wrong, and it only checked for trisomy 13,18,21 and sex chromosome abnormalities. But we got the "all clear". Everyone around me told me everything was fine and I "needed to believe in the power of God" and to "stop crying bc I would make the baby sad".
At this point, I had been experiencing awful nausea and was put on zofran. Around 11-12 weeks my symptoms were disappearing, but my H kept saying that's common since the placenta takes over. I thought my boobs were feeling less sore and felt a little smaller. I felt like something was going to be wrong with the baby, despite the negative screen, but H seemed confident in the screen results and that everything would be okay. We decided to "celebrate" by going to Buy Buy Baby and looking around at strollers and cribs. I began to feel excited again and tried to get him to talk names.
Our doctor recommended a second trimester ultrasound since usually benign cysts disappear in the second trimester, so we wanted to see if that would happen, or we'd continue to monitor and assess the situation. We went in on 8/22 when I was 14+4. And there was no heartbeat. And it looked like a small decaying ball on the screen. Their best guess, based on size, was that the baby had died around 12 weeks. I had been carrying a dead baby around for 2+ weeks and my body had no interest in getting rid of it, apparently. So, my dr gave us three options- medicine to take at home, a natural see how it goes, or a d&c, which he highly recommended, based on my GA and body's lack of interest in getting it out.
That night was just awful. My H was still in shock mode and wanted to get out of the house, so we saw a movie. On the walk home I felt a gush and realized my body had finally clued in and I was bleeding bright red blood- a huge amount. I just thought, at least I already know the baby's dead? Otherwise I'd be running to the emergency room. We scheduled the d&c for Thursday 8/25. Worst week of my life.
So what now? Well, once we got the all clear from my dr two weeks post-op, we talked and realized the idea of trying again gave us something to look forward to. Not that a new baby will replace the baby we lost, but helps us move forward.
So far, two cycles down and this blows. I know it hasn't been a long time, I know that, but I still am sad every time I get a BFN and cd1 starts. I miss being pregnant with our baby and bc our dr refused additional genetic testing after the baby died, we have no idea if it can happen again and I'm slightly terrified. And just sad because I really miss our baby and being pregnant every day.
So, that's my story. Way too long, I know. Sorry...