Let's talk about Holiday travels

[pbandj714]

TTMA travelling for the holidays. What are your current plans?

DH and I are from the same area. Our parents and grandparents all live an hour and a half away. His parents are divorced, so we always have at least 3 gatherings to go to. This Thanksgiving we have a dinner on Thursday, one on Friday, and one on Sunday, so we're staying with my parents for the long weekend. It's just so daunting to me with SO MUCH SHIT to pack and people to see. Ugh. I think for Christmas we're going to say, look, we want to have Christmas with the kids in our own house as a family of 4. You all are welcome to come down before/after to spend time with us, but we won't be travelling for this holiday. Too much? I feel like they have to understand, right?

[origamimommy]

pbandj714, we made the decision that we are having Thanksgiving as a family of four in our home. My in laws may be pissed off but honestly we need to decompress.

For Christmas we aren't going anywhere, but everyone is welcome to come see the boys and spend time with us. We have the children now, so at some point these holidays need to be passed down to us to take over. They will have to understand. Just hold the boundary and don't give in. I think it's perfectly reasonable!

[titania]

pbandj714, DH and I are also from the same area (parents live 30min apart) and we have been lucky that we can do most holidays as one family. My parents usually host Thanksgiving dinner and then ILs host Christmas dinner. Eventually, when DD is a little older and can understand more what is going on, I definitely want people to come to us for at least Christmas morning, so I think it is totally reasonable to have people come to you for Christmas.

DH and I have been doing Christmas mornings separately cause it made everyone happy and we really didn't mind (I know that seems weird, but we would see each other for dinner, so it didn't seem like a big deal). Now obviously we can't do that, so I think we will be heading to my parents for the morning this year. I don't think my ILs are going to be super thrilled about this, but my family is full of morning people so everyone will be up and celebrating by 8am. Plus if I am being honest my parents are a lot more exuberant and jovial then my ILs, so I think it will be more fun for DD (and frankly us).

[pbandj714]

Yea, I think I'd like to keep it the four of us for Christmas morning just so it's "fair" for all the grandparents. And then have that afternoon/evening/Christmas Eve/whatever be fair game for family to visit us.
The only one I can see making a stink would be MIL because OMG I have to see them open all their presents! Uh, no. You can watch them open the presents from you, and then they'll show you all the cool stuff they got that morning. (And obviously this is more of a concern for future holidays when they actually know what's going on.)

[vlinder]

Thanksgiving will be with the ILs since BIL and his wife are coming to town. They're only 45 minutes away.

I believe Christmas will be just the 3 of us.

I'm not sure what we're going to do moving forward. My mom and her husband live 7+ hours away.

[greysonsmom]

We normally go to my inlaws house for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. My mom passed away 6 years ago so my MIL also includes my two sisters. Now that DS is two and understands Christmas a bit more and have have two kids and all their stuff I want to have Christmas at our house. They are all welcome, I just don't want to travel.

[pbandj714]

Nov 16, 2016 10:42:19 GMT -5 greysonsmom said:

We normally go to my inlaws house for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. My mom passed away 6 years ago so my MIL also includes my two sisters. Now that DS is two and understands Christmas a bit more and have have two kids and all their stuff I want to have Christmas at our house. They are all welcome, I just don't want to travel.

That's so nice of your ILs to include your sisters so everyone can be together!

[vivela]

We are flying to Missouri for Thanksgiving. Not super excited about that, but fair is fair. I know it is crappy of me but holidays with my family are so much more fun and relaxed. Not to mention that it will take two flights and all day to get there. I don't mind when it is just us, but doing it will baby is a whole new ballgame.
Next year it will be Christmas since we alternate.
My parents live 20 minutes away from us so Christmas will be nice and easy this year.

[Kevinmac]

My mom died when I was a kid, and I don't speak with my father so holidays are with ILs. Well we had decided to do Thanksgiving at our house with ILs and DH's aunt and cousins. Apparently his mom forgot this and said she was doing it. We don't bring C there because she smokes so we convinced her to do it at our house. Then apparently she forgot she invited some homeless guy they know and have no way to get in touch with him so it's back at their house. So, I don't know what we are doing. C and I won't be going there and may go to my sister's. It's just sad that MIL tried to get us to go there even though she knows the rule and inviting a random guy is more important than seeing her only grandson. All I care about is shopping with my sister later on.

My sister and her family come over on Christmas Eve, and ILs come on Christmas Day. ILs make holidays difficult and stress DH out.

[pbandj714]

Ugh, that's so frustrating Kevinmac. I'm sorry.

[manybellsdown]

Both sides divorced here, so I get the SO MUCH. We take an annual trip to where my parents live every year, which also happens to be where H's mom and stepdad live for the winter, and it's usually over Christmas. This involves the better part of a week with three places to stay, shuttling one and now two kids. It can be a lot. We're going again this year. Just yesterday I ordered a toddler bed to be shipped down there.

Accordingly, I refuse to travel for Thanksgiving. We've hosted 8-12 family members for several years now. Luckily H is the better cook, and he does most of it.

One of these years we are instituting an alternating schedule, where we stay to have Christmas in our own home every other year. This is really important to my H, and I'm all on board.

[athn64]

We trade off holidays. We do not travel all over the place. This year for Thanksgiving, it's my parents' turn so we will go there. Christmas is uncertain. Technically it's FIL's year, but since DH is in retail, we can't travel to him. In the past, he's come here, but since SMIL died in the spring he's been reluctant to go anywhere.

We're putting our foot down this year on the holiday with my family. It's just gotten to be too much. Present opening takes upwards of four hours and we do a lot of sitting and waiting. We've told my mom that they are welcome over here in the morning and we will go there in the afternoon for dinner and games. That is, if FIL doesn't come.

[frecklesnbrains]

We will travel to my father's house for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. This is what we usually do. It's only a 2.5 hour drive and DS travels well. My mother and stepfather will spend several days with us the week before Christmas. My ILs are mostly estranged, which simplifies things at least.

[mladerri]

My in laws are foreign and don't really celebrate thanksgiving and celebrate Christmas on dec 24th. I have celebrated thanksgiving with my sister for the past 10 years and she has decided not to come this year. I'm sad but we'll drive to my sil house in Chicago to celebrate with her family instead. For Christmas we're supposed to rotate every year between my family and in laws but my family goes all out and loves Christmas and my in laws just like to drink so my family wins almost every year. We will be hosting my family this year. I'm so happy that we don't have to travel and I'm lucky my husband can be persuaded with gifts we'll make a trip to visit his parents sometime next year in exchange.

[carolinaheart]

Our families live about an hour from us but close to each other. So we'll drive down Wednesday night, stay at the ILs, and have thanksgiving lunch there. Then we'll head to my sisters and have thanksgiving dinner and stay the night there.

My family does their big Christmas thing on Christmas Eve night so that's never been an issue. This year and *maybe* next we will continue to do Christmas morning at my ILs but eventually we'll have to do our own at home.

[sandandsea]

We moved away from all of our families right after college and are a flight away from anyone. We don't do anything for Thanksgiving, but make the rounds at Christmas. We generally take two weeks off and make the rounds between 3 states and 3 families (my parents have been divorced 30 years). DS's bday is also 3 days before Christmas so we do a home celebration of his bday before we leave and do home Christmas when we get back around new years.

Thankfully both boys have been great travelers so far.

ETA:   I'm counting on this adding a jewel to my crown in heaven for putting up with this....

[GOmamab15]

Our families are local. I hope to start our own traditions as a family of 3 and do Christmas at our house for the most part, but we'll probably go to my ILs for dinner.
Big props to those who travel during the holidays. Its stressful enough without having a plane ride.

[bgkc4]

Both of our families are local (about 30 minutes apart). For the last 10 years we have gone to both of our mothers' houses on Thanksgiving. It has sucked splitting Thanksgiving dinner in half and making sure to leave room in our bellies to eat food at both houses (God forbid we don't eat one of our mother's meals).

Now that we've moved to a bigger place, we will host both families at our house this Thanksgiving! It'll be a big undertaking with about 20-30 people attending (I have a big family and adding DH's to it only makes it bigger), but I'm looking forward to it. Thanksgiving is my favorite Holiday. I love catching up with everyone.

We always go to my mom's house Christmas morning, and we spend Christmas evening with his family. We'll probably continue to do that for now.

[chriskoo]

Both our families live locally, 10 mins from our house. Usually we alternate xmas dinner with one family and morning/brunch with the other. It's a flexible system, sometimes we go on vacation someplace tropical for Christmas with one or both families, sometimes my family will host DHs family or vice versa.

This year, we are hosting Christmas at our house. My parents, DHs parents, all of our siblings, my grandpa, DHs aunt and uncle and one of my cousins are all coming. Should be fun!!

[packerfan4life]

We live halfway across the country from our families. We're not doing anything for Thanksgiving. For Christmas we'll be staying with my parents. MIL hasn't spoken to us since they visited in Aug for no apparent reason (like didn't wish DD1 or H a Happy Birthday by card or phone) so not sure we'll be seeing the ILs at all but they do live near my family