So there are about a million ppl that help take care of my child. Who do you give gifts to?
So far I have: Pedi office bc we live there Pt Ot Ladies at front of hospital they are beyond lovely to my son and never make us wait to register. The person that makes my sons helmet
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Post by mrsbuttinski on Nov 18, 2016 7:43:01 GMT -5
Call me the Grinch. I do not gift professionals as a general policy- but I'm old and tend to feel more comfortable with old-school etiquette which dictates that it is fine to tip/gift people like stylists, doormen and cleaners but that tipping/gifting those with considerable education and assets is feintly insulting.
That said, DS did gift his teachers, classroom para and school SLP in elementary because that is the custom. I even gifted the school BSN because she was very supportive during 6th grade which was a difficult year emotionally.
I occasionally bought DS's band teacher a beer when I ran into him at one of the local brew pubs we both frequent. DS spent as many waking hours in their man's care as mine in high school which mean he earned an adult beverage. I took care of his 150 band unis and the kids who wore them for 4 years and he bought me a nice bottle of wine at the end of the competition season each year.
I have written thank you notes to some of DS's better teachers- these came a few years after the fact when I had an update to share. I wrote DS's 4th-6th grade resource teacher once DS got his act together in high school- she was delighted for the update. I wrote his high school composition teacher a note of thanks when DS aced his 2 required writing courses and got a lovely note back.
In this situation, I might bring cookies to the pedi's office and maybe do a small consumable with a note for the PT and OT since they have more of a relationship with your DS.
I've had changing opinions about this over the years as well. I agree that I do not gift professionals (nurses, pedi, etc.) I understand wanting to acknowledge their caring services- maybe a basket of cookies? But honestly, I'm not a fan of the baked goods around Christmas. But some are.
When DS was young I felt obligated to give presents. Part of this was guilt- I remember seeing another Mom carrying in HUGE platters of beautifully wrapped gifts into his SN inclusion daycare. You build such a relationship with all the therapists and teachers when they are little. I had so many to give to that I think at one point I was giving $5 per person. In hindsight, a heartfelt note was probably sufficient. If I'm doing a consumable, I'd do a small GC to a coffee shop near their place of work. At least you know it'll be used.
As they age it gets easier. A helpful classroom aide, case worker, teacher, done. More $$ is put towards the main teacher. Hopefully you'll be able to pool with other parents at some point.
Sometimes teachers/therapists will chime in on these posts and I'm always interested in what their perspective is. Most seem to say they are tired of cookies and candles and just want a note, or maybe a GC.
I don't give to doctors, specialists or therapists. I have considered a gift for the front desk of the pedi's office since they spent a lot of time on his referral in part from their own ignorance of how to do an HMO referral. I ended up not doing it because they didn't seem to remember me, and had moved on from that. Still not a terrible idea to be an office thing, but then it typically is food.
His speech and hearing teachers are through the school district and would follow the same rules as his regular ed teacher. I haven't done anything there and won't for Christmas. Maybe end of the year, but probably not. Gift giving is not one of my love languages and strengths. I think I would far more likely write a nice thank you note.
When DS was in EI & private ST/OT, I put together little gift bags with: -A gift card for coffee -A card made with DS that thanked them for everything they did -Photo of DS -An ornament made with DS that said "It takes a big heart to help shape little minds."
I gave them to his therapist, the secretary at the private clinic (she was always so sweet with DS), and the librarian that ran a social group I brought DS to.
This year is a little harder because I don't actually know how many people he works with at the ABA center and Pre-K. I might put together big gift baskets and then maybe something extra for the people that I know he works with.
DS doesn't have a major team at this point so in addition to his and DD's classroom teacher, I just have his SN point person at school. He's been great for DS this year and last and it is DS' last year at the school so I'll probably do a bit more. Typically I do a Amazon GC and some kind of candy for teachers. I have an actual gift for DD's teacher this year, but I think DS' will get the usual. I've enlisted DS' help in scoping out what these two individuals like, so at least it's tailored and he's contributing.
Post by chickypoo2468 on Nov 18, 2016 20:28:15 GMT -5
I never considered giving any doctors or specialists gifts, but I feel like I should give the therapists something since they come to my own and I feel like you build more of a relationship with them because of it (although maybe they don't feel that way since they have actual lives and friends outside of their jobs). But we have 4 of them. Then my preKer has 2 or 3 teachers, then my 5th grader has a teacher and bus driver. We are flat broke so I can't give anything huge. Gift cards are out unless I give each one 5 bucks. I was going to make bath bombs and body scrubs but I'm at the point where I just DGAF about life, much less making stuff like that. So I don't know what to do.
Last year was my oldests first year back after homeschooling and we totally forgot to give her teacher a single thing.
I'm the scroogiest Scrooge of all. I usually get a small gift like a gift card for the teacher and that is it. At the end of the year when C celebrates her birthday (birthdays are a big deal in Montessori so even though her bday is June 1 and school is out mid to late May, she will do her bday walk the last week of school) we buy a nice classroom gift of some kind usually. So it corresponds with her bday and end of year.
I write a lot of thank you notes. When my son graduated from the bridge program at his ABA center, I wrote a thank you note to each of his 3 bridge teachers, BCBA, assistant BCBA, education director, and facility director. One year I had my son help me make Christmas cards (out of construction paper and stickers) for some of those same people plus his OT. I have in the past given a gift card to his BCBA, but it is against the rules now to give gifts to any employee.
I will probably do a small gift card for his kindergarten teacher, teacher assistant, and OT. He has an ABA shadow in his class and they are about to fade out completely so I will write each of them a thank you note next month before they are gone.
I have never given anything to the pediatrician's office. If it matters, we are not there that much.
I never considered giving any doctors or specialists gifts, but I feel like I should give the therapists something since they come to my own and I feel like you build more of a relationship with them because of it (although maybe they don't feel that way since they have actual lives and friends outside of their jobs). But we have 4 of them. Then my preKer has 2 or 3 teachers, then my 5th grader has a teacher and bus driver. We are flat broke so I can't give anything huge. Gift cards are out unless I give each one 5 bucks. I was going to make bath bombs and body scrubs but I'm at the point where I just DGAF about life, much less making stuff like that. So I don't know what to do.
Last year was my oldests first year back after homeschooling and we totally forgot to give her teacher a single thing.
Our therapists felt more like family in early intervention. My kids' school host lots of training programs for the community and any time one of our old therapists goes I get a text asking for permission for them to say hi. Even years later.
Post by ohsewcrafty on Nov 21, 2016 16:37:59 GMT -5
I will probably send a tray of cookies to Charlie's therapy center and to the therapist team at his school. I'm going to put together some kind of gift/crafty thing for his kindergarten teacher and his percussion instructor - I can't describe how amazing he's been with Charlie, it's like magic.
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