Yes thankfully sophiegrace. We had some thunderstorms yesterday that seemed to clear up most of the fog. Weather still isn't perfect, but his chances of getting home on time have improved.
Hi y'all! Things have been a bit crazy here. My sister is driving in today with 2 of her kids though, so I'm looking firer to that. I may not be able to check in for awhile though.
Was thinking about you earlier and then you pop in! Have fun!!
I've said it before and I know I'll say it again, but twin mamas amaze me. I'm having all this guilt almost two years later over the fact that I've bonded so strongly and immediately with DD than I did with DS. I can't imagine trying to address that simultaneously with two. I know you guys know it'll even out in the end but I imagine it's still hard to balance it out right now along with everything else. Hugs kleigh and starbuck27.
Post by sweetmelissa5 on Nov 23, 2016 20:29:34 GMT -5
Thanks waitwhat, danib, and sophiegrace! Mostly, I just feel like a crazy person, but at least I generally get the kids where they need to be on time. And tomorrow I get to spend at least five hours in a car with all of them (and DH) since we're doing a day trip up to Jersey to spend Thanksgiving with my family.
Post by cookswithwine9 on Nov 23, 2016 20:50:44 GMT -5
Rings are definitely not even fitting past my knuckle which made me sad. I have not even attempted regular pants! I honestly have only been out of sweat pants 1 time. My incision is still very sore so I will not be attempting any time soon. I did weigh though and I'm down half my pregnancy weight 1 week postpartum so that was surprising to me!
dashook and starbuck27 Crying over here guise... You guys get me. I love them both so so so very very much... But I think because Alec is such a sweet, good, quiet, independent boy and because of delivery room drama/emotions(*) I feel extremely bonded to him. I am definitely bonding with Adeline but it's different, she tests my strength and patience and because it kind of pulls me away from bonding with Alec I kind of have different feels. Like the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and then I see him just laying there or sleeping in his RnP all quiet and it BREAKS MY HEART into a million tiny pieces. But I can't put her down and let her scream only to pick up the one who is content already, right? The guilt is strong. And I freak out being afraid I'll "screw them up if I let them cry".... Its the reason I can't be left alone with them both at the same time (save for H to run out while they nap for coffee) because I freak out when they both cry at the same time - who do you tend to first?! Who do you let cry ?!
* I don't know if I explained this already but Alec was the first born. When I was rushed to the OR from labor suite I had been making good progress but then kind of stalled once we got into the OR for various reasons. After about twenty more minutes in the OR I all but gave up, I saw no way to keep going and started screaming "I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this." I literally could not breathe, I was fatigued from the two day long process and from not having eaten in days, and my mouth was so parched I couldn't swallow. So I have SO MUCH GUILT that it happened this way, that I doubted him, that I brought him into the world with doubt and fear and sadness and under distress. Finally, someone asked if I wanted to feel his head and they guided my hand down. The second I felt his fuzzy head I broke into hysterical crying and knew I had to get him out and two pushes later he was out. I felt immediate sadness that his journey was stressed. Everytime I touch his head or kiss his head I just cry and cry because I love him so much and that fuzzy little head was what got me through the delivery.
I have not tried regular pants yet (I'm scared to!) but I did finally weigh myself. I've lost 54 of the 65 lbs I gained during pregnancy in these 17 days pp. I've got another 11 lbs to lose but am content to let it slide until I'm able to start working out again.
My rings do fit finally!!! Woo hop! I am so grateful for this bc it's one of the things that makes me so happy is to wear them proudly.
I have not tried regular pants yet (I'm scared to!) but I did finally weigh myself. I've lost 54 of the 65 lbs I gained during pregnancy in these 17 days pp. I've got another 11 lbs to lose but am content to let it slide until I'm able to start working out again.
My rings do fit finally!!! Woo hop! I am so grateful for this bc it's one of the things that makes me so happy is to wear them proudly.
I hear you on that feeling, I love every single aspect of them and what they mean. I was looking at our family photos and the fact that I am not wearing them in our pictures makes me sad. H has his on and there are my hands with no rings.
Post by cookswithwine9 on Nov 23, 2016 22:10:59 GMT -5
Do you have to wear breast pads the entire time you breast feed? Ie: you breastfeed for a year so you wear the pads for a year? My boobs are constantly leaking and I'm already over wearing the pads. Or once your supply levels out, you don't have to wear them anymore?
Do you have to wear breast pads the entire time you breast feed? Ie: you breastfeed for a year so you wear the pads for a year? My boobs are constantly leaking and I'm already over wearing the pads. Or once your supply levels out, you don't have to wear them anymore?
I never had leaking too badly with DS so idk if my experience is helpful to share. But I found that after a couple weeks, once my supply evened out, I was good to not wear them day to day. The only time it was really still a problem for me were nights where he unexpectedly slept longer than usual because I'd wake up soaked and engorged. I guess that latter scenario could happen anytime during your nursing period.
Post by sophiegrace on Nov 23, 2016 23:13:14 GMT -5
It took three weeks, but I think the whole baby is hard on a marriage thing is hitting this household. Nothing catastrophic, I'm just feeling a bit resentful and he's definitely feeling wistful for the freedom of pre baby even though much hasn't changed for him. Idk...maybe the exhaustion is hitting me harder than I thought.
Post by ClassyMrsA on Nov 23, 2016 23:48:04 GMT -5
cookswithwine9 I leaked really bad with Lillian at first. I was able to stop wearing the pads when she was about 3 months old.
sophiegrace I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Having a baby is a huge adjustment. I've stayed home with Lillian for over 2 years now and I still have times when I feel resentful towards DH. I get jealous that he can just go out without a kid or worrying about nursing. Or just that he can go be around other adults and has a career. I know he has those feelings too since I get to be at home and my work often involves things like going to the park and doing crafts. But we try to communicate and appreciate what the other person is doing. We celebrate each other's contributions and recognize the challenges we each face, too. It does get better as you adjust and find a balance.
It took three weeks, but I think the whole baby is hard on a marriage thing is hitting this household. Nothing catastrophic, I'm just feeling a bit resentful and he's definitely feeling wistful for the freedom of pre baby even though much hasn't changed for him. Idk...maybe the exhaustion is hitting me harder than I thought.
It really is difficult. The best advice I can give is to keep communicating and try not to initiate serious talks in the middle of the night.
MH and I had a couple really bad fights before we figured things out. Just keep talking to each other. I think it takes longer for men to realize the massive responsibility a baby is and it takes longer for them to adjust. Remember, they didn't experience pregnancy and labor like we did, and I think that plays a huge part in their ability to adapt to parenthood.
Post by goldenlove3 on Nov 24, 2016 3:10:13 GMT -5
sophiegrace, I complained in the recovery thread about the same thing and hated writing it down because I've never felt that way about H. There was so much going on this past week and I felt like he barely even tried to be a parent. Everything he did or said upset me. Luckily yesterday we finally had a good evening together, just the three of us. I think this weekend will be good too since he'll be home and we don't have anything planned after Thanksgiving. Hope it gets better for you too. This whole experience is hard.
So I feel like crap. I fell asleep holding Henry last night and he managed to squirm out of my grip. Nothing bad happened, luckily little man is noisy as fuck and woke me up in the process, but he could have easily been hurt. I spent a lot of time researching safe co-sleeping when C was a baby, so I know better. Which makes me even more upset with myself.
I am so so sorry DaniB... I needed to read this. I've been letting Adeline fall asleep on my chest and I have dozed several times and luckily she doesn't move an inch but it's so so so scary to think of the possibilities. Were you in bed alone? Was he on the mattress when you woke? Or you woke as it was happening? I am so freaking sorry, and I want you to know that I won't do this anymore because I will learn from you that yes she can squirm free
danib I've dozed off in the glider more times than id like to admit. I also dropped O out of a low bed when he was 2 months old. I was so nervous waiting for symptoms to develop in the next 24 hours. Fortunately everything has been ok, but it's scary everytime. Just know you are not alone!
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