Delivery Date / # Days Postpartum: Nov 5 / 27 days pp
Vaginal / C-Section: Vaginal
Limitations / Restrictions from OB/MW: Just no sex and listen to my body if I feel signs of overdoing it
When is your PP follow up visit? Any concerns you want to raise at it? December 12, not currently - just want reassurance that all is healed down there - I had a 2nd degree internal perineal tear. Occasionally I still have minor "spotting" after a BM but not bad.
How are you feeling physically?: Exhausted, my lower back is in so much pain and my legs constantly feel like they're going to give out - I blame walking the floor with Addy. Otherwise I feel wonderful, I feel like I'd never know I just had two babies!
Emotionally?: Meh. H and I had a blow out on Tuesday because he is of the mind that the babies will be spoiled if he/we respond to their cries and carry/hold them too much - that they need to learn to "self soothe" - I feel that we're fine until AT LEAST 3 months. I've asked him to show me ONE article or piece of research that supports his POV (I've searched and cannot find anything, it all says not possible until the latter part of their first year). He's like, I don't need to research it, it's a well known fact, just because I don't spend my days researching or talking to people on a blog (nice insult). So I said "well known fact by who, who follows this?" He goes "everyone". I said who is everyone, he has nothing. He's like, "in my experience". Dude, how many newborns have you been around, certainly not more than me (given I have younger bros/sisters, 13 neices and nephews, and used to work in the baby room of a daycare). He comes back with "my (his) sister". I said "so your mom didn't respond to her as a 3 week old newborn and made her CIO?" And he's like "yeah". I said, ok, well I'm genuinely sorry to point this out but your sister has not adjusted very well - she absolutely hates your mom, she struggles with depression, she was cutting herself, she won't tell your mom she loves her or so much as spend ten minutes hanging out with her, etc - so this doesn't sound like supporting evidence of a healthy response to your guys' method. World War III up in here after that. That kind of led me down a dark path having someone, MY HUSBAND and best friend, question my mothering and judgement. We're ok now, he apologized, and he's agreed that we're better off erring this way than his way... But it took a massive fight to get there - why ?! I don't need to feel this way PP.
What are your goals this week for a healthy mind/body?: GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. I walked to the end of the street in the rain yesterday. Because fresh air.
Questions/Comments/Rants/Raves: I want to do a cookie swap but my sisters are being lame.
Limitations / Restrictions from OB/MW: Just the normal stuff at this point.
When is your PP follow up visit? Any concerns you want to raise at it?: Next Wednesday. Just hoping everything healed ok. I'm glad that I still have normal sensations down there but things feel slightly different physically.
How are you feeling physically?: My back and foot had been aching a lot lately.
Emotionally?: I've been feeling pretty guilty about not being able to breast feed. I'm glad I'm at least giving him some breast milk for now but I feel like I did something wrong that he won't BF.
What are your goals this week for a healthy mind/body?: Keep up with eating and not going all day without food. Much easier after grocery shopping.
Questions/Comments/Rants/Raves: Last night H asked when we can have sex again. I laughed at him and asked how he can even think about sex right now. Every minute C is actually sleeping during the night, I need to be sleeping too. If he wants to get any after I'm cleared, it's going to have to be during one of his naps during the day. But the thing that annoyed me is that he has a cough right now which got him out of getting up with C all last night. If you're too sick to help with C, you're too sick to try to mack on me. Sorry.
kleigh well that is horse shit and you can tell YH I said so.
In all seriousness though, could you maybe ask your pediatrician about this and have him or her explain to YH how babies don't develop object permanence until 6 months and therefore until then they need you to respond immediately to their cries? I have found it useful to defer to the pedi on a number of occasions where there is a dispute over a "parenting choice" (that's not actually a dispute at all because I've done the research and am right but someone else needs convincing).
Btw like waitwhat I held DS like ALL the time for the first 5 months of his life. He hated to be put down ever. I slept upright in bed with a pillow fortress around me to prop my arms up so he could sleep in them. Or I didn't sleep at all and just held him. Now? He's almost 23 months, has STTN in his own crib and room since 8 months old, and is a completely well-adjusted, happy, healthy, and social child who has a strong bond with both of his parents.
Thank you gals SO SO much for the support and anecdotes. I truly feel in my heart that these babies need a transition period from womb to world and I refuse to let anyone, including my husband who I love with all my being, interfere with that. I think he realized how invested I was when I asked him to leave and go to his mother's lol. We've never had a fight like this so I think I was equally upset realizing that for the first time we weren't on the same page.
I think he sees my sister who has some attachment "concerns" with her children. Like the kids can't really even be looked at without crying and running to her/clinging on her (2.5 yr old and 1.5yr old). BUT I try to explain to him, we don't know what other things affected them - including her and her spouse having some domestic issues which led to their divorce earlier this year - so they've seen their dad corner, yell at, threaten their mom as well as him leave the house and not come back. Anyway, he doesn't use good examples lol.
Post by jubilantsquirrel on Dec 1, 2016 11:41:41 GMT -5
Delivery Date / # Days Postpartum: 11/27 / 4
Vaginal / C-Section: Vaginal
Limitations / Restrictions from OB/MW: Nothing in vagina and take it easy.
When is your PP follow up visit? Any concerns you want to raise at it?: haven't made one yet.
How are you feeling physically?: Pretty good. Some cramping with nursing and occasionally my stitches kind of bother me. It's hard to stand/walk for too long, I just don't have any core strength right now.
Emotionally?: Ok. I feel so bad for DS1. His feelings towards DS2 change constantly and he's been super clingy. He lost his mind yesterday when H and I left for DS2's appointment and he never cares when we leave.
What are your goals this week for a healthy mind/body?: Keep spending time with DS1, try to keep his routine the same as its always been.
Questions/Comments/Rants/Raves: I forgot how hard the first few days are. It's such an adjustment for everyone and now we have a 2.5 year old in the mix. I know we'll find our new normal eventually though.
Post by jubilantsquirrel on Dec 1, 2016 11:44:48 GMT -5
kleigh, +whatever to what everyone else already said. I held DS1 all the time and that kid could not be more independent. He loves is bed and has been a great sleeper pretty much his entire life (minus the 7-9 month range). I'm also lucky if I get more than 10 seconds of snuggles with him.
Limitations / Restrictions from OB/MW: The generic standards of no sex or heavy lifting.
When is your PP follow up visit? Any concerns you want to raise at it?: I haven't scheduled it yet. No current concerns.
How are you feeling physically?: pretty good actually. Vag is still swollen and tender. Got a small hemorrhoid (never had one before) but it doesn't bother me. Although, I'll be nervous every time I poop until it's gone and then I'm sure I'll still have some anxiety.
Emotionally?: doing well so far. I cried the other day because E cleaned up his own spilled milk. Such a big kid! I'm optimistic about our transition to a family of four but stress does start to creep in when E gets home from school. So mostly feeling positive/happy/satisfied/fulfilled but do have some downs/anxiousness/stress (mostly about big brother than baby).
What are your goals this week for a healthy mind/body?: taking one day at a time and remind myself D is only X days old. No need to stress about things yet, she's too new!
Questions/Comments/Rants/Raves: I'm surprised/impressed with how quickly I feel like I'm bouncing back from delivering a baby. I'm also still amazed about the whole labor and delivery. Really loving mh and the support he gave me during it all. Also proud of myself for being able to tell him what I needed.
E is doing well. Loves his sister. He acts out to us but not to her. We're still adjusting and trying to be understanding.
Limitations / Restrictions from OB/MW: the usual. I can lift stuff and drive now.
When is your PP follow up visit? Any concerns you want to raise at it?: 12/22. I think it's too soon to know what I'll be concerned about it anything when I go.
How are you feeling physically?: Pretty good. A bit achy this week and I keep having bleeding spells. But I've also been home alone with the toddler and baby this week so I've definitely been more active.
Emotionally?: I cry really easily, but otherwise I feel pretty good emotionally. I have had some sadness because this might be my last pregnancy/baby and while I'm not interested in going through it all again I am sad that the pregnancy part of my life might be over.
What are your goals this week for a healthy mind/body?: +whatever to drinking more water and making better eating choices. I need to get a haircut, too.
Questions/Comments/Rants/Raves: I keep having this feeling like there's a bubble in my vag. Anyone else? I think I remember this with Lillian, but I don't know.
Post by goldenlove3 on Dec 1, 2016 18:18:20 GMT -5
Is it possible to get your period at 4 weeks pp? I'm not exactly sure that's what this is but I'm lighting bleeding today. I stopped bleeding a couple weeks ago and have just had a discharge since but today it's red again.
goldenlove3 Definitely possible, especially if you are mostly FF. It's more common around 6 weeks or so if you're not ebf, but 4 weeks is not unheard of. The color will be slightly different if it's a period.
Post by cookswithwine9 on Dec 1, 2016 19:46:24 GMT -5
Delivery Date / # Days Postpartum: 11/15; 16 days
Vaginal / C-Section: c section
Limitations / Restrictions from OB/MW: standard + do not lift more weight than baby
When is your PP follow up visit? Any concerns you want to raise at it?: 12/13; I feel some bludging under my incision, Dr Google says swelling or fluid from the internal layers healing. I hope it goes away... waitwhat have you experienced this?
How are you feeling physically?: Abdomen area above my incision is very tender to the touch; I assume this is a normal part of the healing process. I also think I have some numbness along the actual incision.
Emotionally?: I've been googling baby blues vs post partum depression. I have good days and bad days. Today was a bad day. I just get so weepy and can't stop crying. But then I will go a couple days without crying. Google says baby blues should only last 2 weeks and since I'm past that it makes me concerned. Is anyone else still experiencing the blues 2+ weeks out? I just get overwhelmed... I had no idea having a newborn was going to be so hard.
What are your goals this week for a healthy mind/body?: water, nap when can, shower daily, daily walks or outings
cookswithwine9, I had PPD after having DS, though no one ever told me so. I only recently came to this understanding (and it was confirmed when I saw my medical records from my OB's office a few weeks ago--don't get me started on how they could screen me positive for something like that and then never tell me or take any action).
It lasted 6 weeks (almost to the day) and then it was like someone flipped a light switch on and I was suddenly fine. But the first six weeks of his life were the hardest and darkest weeks of mine. I had good and bad days too, mostly bad though (especially at night...crying all night long), and I felt no bond with my baby until that random, magic day at 6 weeks PP. Two days before that I had told MH I thought I should talk to someone.
Now, you don't necessarily have a problem just because it's been more than 2 weeks. But I don't think it could hurt to mention how you are feeling to your doctor. Don't let them write you off as "just baby blues" if you feel it's more or tell you you're fine as long as you're not thinking about harming yourself or your baby.
Women shouldn't have to suffer alone like I did. Please feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk or just vent about anything you're feeling.
Is it possible to get your period at 4 weeks pp? I'm not exactly sure that's what this is but I'm lighting bleeding today. I stopped bleeding a couple weeks ago and have just had a discharge since but today it's red again.
I'm having this too, but nursing every 1-3 hours so I really don't think it's my period (and not heavy enough anyway). But I ramdomly started bleeding again yesterday after nearly a week of nothing.
It went away by the evening so I don't think it was my period. Who knows.
Most importantly talk to your doctor about it. If it doesn't feel right and they pass it off as the blues, seek someone else to talk to about it.
I struggled quite a bit postpartum but mine lifted around 10-11 days. I still have days every now and then that I cry, but I'm a sensitive person to begin with so that's not uncommon for me. I don't think that just because yours has lasted 2 weeks that it's definitely PPD, but I do think if it's lingering and if you're questioning it that it's smart of you to stay on top of it.
I do have a history of depression though, and I will share with you my symptoms then in case it helps you identify something in yourself, however mine could be more severe than what you're experiencing so please don't see it as "well I don't have that so I guess I'm not depressed"; talk to a professional about it please! :
- general disinterest in life . Whereas I previously had feels about a person, topic, thing, music, show, whatever - that all disappeared and I felt nothing for no one/no thing, I didn't feel happy OR sad, I felt nothing
- thoughts of self harm. I didn't *want* to hurt myself but thoughts of self harm would come to my head and then those thoughts would give me anxiety/panic attacks bc I didn't understand why I'd think about it
- disinterested in taking care of myself. I still did, somehow. But all I wanted to do was lay in bed and disappear into the sheets.
- massive/sudden weight loss and "disgust" for food (can be sudden weight gain/increased eating). Food didn't sound good, I wasn't interested in eating and so I didn't really. This, to me, is somewhat of a red flag to experience this. People I know with depression have all said this was a symptom of theirs but they never would've thought more of it.
- looking at myself in the mirror and seeing only a shell of a person
Delivery Date / # Days Postpartum: Nov 4th / 28 days pp
Vaginal / C-Section: Vaginal
Limitations / Restrictions from OB/MW: Standard
When is your PP follow up visit? Any concerns you want to raise at it?: Dec 18th, I guess I should ask about BC. I didn't really do anything last time because sex was so far of my radar (4th degree tears do that to a person). And it's also more likely my period will return sooner than 1 yr pp (I think it returns faster with subsequent pregnancies even with EBF, right?).
How are you feeling physically?: great! Bleeding has stopped, no aches or pains. Only issues are that weight loss has become stagnant and sleep deprivation is present.
Emotionally?: pretty good. Everything with baby is excellent. I lose patience with the big one and I know I'm not correcting his behaviour in the most productive way and I feel bad about that.
What are your goals this week for a healthy mind/body?: more water. Take a nap.
Questions/Comments/Rants/Raves: I have a 1 month old!
hangry What?? I have never heard your period returns faster. I stopped bc at 1 year to start ntnp and it came back at about 14.5 months pp. I only had the one. I was hoping for a similar length of time this time around.
cookswithwine9 I'm sorry you are still having some rough days. I had ppa and some long lasting "baby blues" after I had Lillian. I also had that detached feeling dashook was talking about for a few weeks. I didn't want anything to happen to her, but I also I didn't feel that glowing love for her. I did talk to my Dr about it, but I didn't want to take anything because I've done that before for generalized anxiety disorder and depression and getting off of those meds is not fun. Plus, I didn't want to take anything breastfeeding even if something was safe. Talking about it helped and using strategies I learned about in therapy helped. The blues part did go away after about a month. The ppa lasted for about 5 months. This time I felt great right off the bat and then this past weekend I started having some weird ups and downs, crying at everything, etc. It's very baby blues feeling and it took 2 weeks to set in. So it's definitely different in everyone. Definitely mention it to your dr if you're concerned, push for help if you feel you need it. Some people decide to take medication for it, I prefer just doing therapy. That said, depending on severity sometimes medication is necessary. Just know you're not alone and we are here to help, too.
ClassyMrsA I actually don't know that the return of period is later as fact. Maybe I've just heard it more anecdotally.
In fact, if my sciencey brain had to guess , it probably has more to do with the frequency, amount, and overnight feedings, same as with any other post partum experience.
ClassyMrsA I actually don't know that the return of period is later as fact. Maybe I've just heard it more anecdotally.
In fact, if my sciencey brain had to guess , it probably has more to do with the frequency, amount, and overnight feedings, same as with any other post partum experience.
That makes sense. And means I'm probably screwed. Lol. This baby already nurses less than Lillian did.
Post by cookswithwine9 on Dec 2, 2016 11:17:45 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing your experiences dashook I think I understand the deattached feeling you described. Like ClassyMrsA said obviously I don't want anything bad to happen to him! And I hate it when he cries but I feel like I should be bonded more. kleigh I'm not experiencing those symptoms to that degree so hopefully it's just lingering "blues". I just thought these feelings should be gone by now. I wish I didn't feel this way.
Thank you for sharing your experiences dashook I think I understand the deattached feeling you described. Like ClassyMrsA said obviously I don't want anything bad to happen to him! And I hate it when he cries but I feel like I should be bonded more. kleigh I'm not experiencing those symptoms to that degree so hopefully it's just lingering "blues". I just thought these feelings should be gone by now. I wish I didn't feel this way.
Hugs. I hope they go away soon. We are here for you in any event.
Delivery Date / # Days Postpartum: 11/18, 14 days PP
Vaginal / C-Section: vaginal
Limitations / Restrictions from OB/MW: The usual stuff, plus I am STILL on meds for my stupid BP, which they now want me to monitor at home in addition to coming into the office twice a week for checks 😕
When is your PP follow up visit? Any concerns you want to raise at it?: January 5th. I need to talk to them about these hemmorhoids (see below). I also need to figure out where I stand on birth control before then.
How are you feeling physically?: Pretty good, good energy, stitches have healed up nicely, stupid BP is high but I have no symptoms at all. But omg the hemmorhoids you guys. *TMI* I think I must have a new one that's internal, and the external one is definitely bigger now. Trying to have a bowel movement is agony, like the pain surpasses a lot of what I have experienced in childbirth.
Emotionally?: I'm feeling amazing. I seem to have skipped the baby blues entirely. The fact that I'm actually getting some decent sleep has to be a huge factor. That and the fact that she's gaining weight like crazy and is so mellow and sweet...I'm just finding this time around to be so much more enjoyable and less stressful.
What are your goals this week for a healthy mind/body?: I need to try to take it easy and get myself off this BP medication. It's hard because I feel so normal and want to just go do all the things with my super-portable newborn. I also am desperate to start exercising again. The DR and the state of my belly have got me down a bit. But first things first--recover and get my BP down!
Questions/Comments/Rants/Raves: I'm happy, guys excited and incredibly grateful to get to spend the holidays this year with my little family of 4!
dashook The hemorrhoids suck. I've got one that is so itchy and uncomfortable. Are you taking colace? It's been helping with the bm pain some. Hope they get better soon!!
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