What would CAL do? (a gif story)

[rslh10]

Alright Ladies....



Some of you may know that my Grandpa passed away today. Also, some of you know that I am "penciled in" for an IUI on Monday, as long as my follies are good tomorrow morning. I just found out my grandpas funeral/showing is 1-3pm on the same day as my IUI (don't know the time, probably early AM).

**ETA-- my grandfather and I were not close at all. I would be going for my Mom**




What would you do?



Here are a few bullet points for you to consider on your quest to a decision:

• I'm on my 5th round of Clomid (6 rounds lifetime max), If I cancel this cycle, it's a complete waste.
• My family lives 2.5 hours away, so I would have to drive 45 minutes to my RE, do the IUI, drive back home to take care of a few things, then set off on my 2.5 hour journey, only to come home that same evening.
• Will I be crampy? Will I be tired/stressed/need to rest? Ultimately will be it be good for *me*? 
• Does all of that shit make me selfish? 

[nikiswimr]

Oh man, this is tough. My IUIs have always been early am (drop cup'o sperm off at 7am, IUI 8am), so technically, it's probably doable. I have felt completely fine both times after my IUI. You walk in there with a full bladder, the IUI itself is kind of like a Pap smear, then you lay on the table for 5 minutes and get on with your day. They told me no restrictions after. In fact, this IUI @ketchup and I went all out and had a bottomless mimosa brunch post-IUI BUT, it all depends on what you're wanting to do. It is not selfish at all to be worried about this, 5 cycles of Clomid are no joke.

[T2Dsugar20]

I have no experience with an IUI, but I have missed funerals before for whatever reasons. I would do the IUI and then go to the funeral. I have a bad habit of overdoing it though, but I think if your H drives and you can just relax and ride it should be okay. Again I'm sorry for your loss. Also I don't think you sound selfish.

[4furrypaws]

I'm sure your Grandpa would want you to do the IUI hun. I'm sure he would totally understand. You are NOT being selfish!!

I say you do the IUI and see how you feel. If you are crampy or just don't feel up to it you don't go. If you feel totally fine you go. And I agree have H drive if you do so you can rest.

You are NOT selfish!!

BIG HUG!!!

[therealbug]

Wait to see what your monitoring appointment shows tomorrow. It may end up that your IUI will be pushed back. If you do need to do the IUI on Monday, try to make it work. It would be a shame to have gone through a clomid cycle for nothing.

ETA - and by "wait" I mean try not to stress over this decision just yet. 

[rslh10]

I should edit my post to mention that my grandpa and I were not close at all. AT. ALL. I would be going strictly for my mom.

[msugirl]

Hi sweets,
I may be a little tipsy right now and not understanding it correctly, but can you do both the IUI and funeral? It's (for my office at least) not recommended to do bed rest after IUI any more, just no exerting yourself.

[yummybunny]

You should for sure do your iui and then see how you feel after.

[sarcaztic10]

I would wait and see what tomorrow brings at your monitoring appt. if the IUI is still going to be Monday then I would make it work somehow. A wasted cycle of Clomid is no joke. Sending you calming vibes and more (((hugs))) let us know how it goes!

[ldubhawksfan]

I agree with Bug and furry. First, try not to stress until tomorrow. Once you know whether it's on for Monday for sure, I think you should talk to the staff to see if they can get you in the earliest appt on Monday. Then I think you should wait to see how you feel and decide whether to go. That is such a shitty situation, especially when it's your 5th round of clomid. But you should absolutely do the IUI. Good luck sweetie.

[littleowl913]

The viewing is Monday but is the burial the next day? If that's the case, you can still say your goodbyes. I truly believe that your grandfather would not want you to skip your IUI.

Btw, I have to confess, it took me a few seconds to figure out CAL was (I don't deal well withn change).

[rslh10]

Jan 16, 2015 23:12:11 GMT -5 @ketchup said:

** Was tagged, so I came in.. hope that's okay! **

Okay. I'm going to jump on in here as someone who (literally, 7 days ago today) was at the viewing of a grandparent. This was MK's grandfather, and I'd consider us close - but not to be considered some life-long relationship.. more like we just adored each other in the years I knew him. A number of actual physical times I can count seeing him on four, maybe five, hands. I understand that you didn't consider yourself close to him, but you say you are going for your Mom. Again, this is coming straight from raw feelings of being involved first-hand in a situation where I stood beside my husband as he lost his only grandfather. And let me tell you. As far removed as you think you may be, you don't want to miss this. After hearing the stories of random strangers who came out of the woodwork to pay their respects.. from the cashier at the grocery store he went to every day to buy a specific pastry, to the bank teller who sobbed when she heard he was gone.. those are ripple effects that a person makes. I can tell you that you won't regret going, but I can't say the same the other way around.

Does this mean you have to cancel your IUI? No. It means that you have make a sacrifice for a day. A really big pain in the ass sacrifice. Traveling SUCKS. Especially last minute and under pressure. I haven't fought with MK the way we did with travel planning to get back home in MONTHS. But, you will never be able to get that day back. Ever. All I will say is you should really think about that long and hard. This is truly one of those things that you will actually look back on in life. Make sure that you 10 years from now won't regret whatever choice you decide to make. Either way, you have my support.

ETA - asterik heading at top!

Lovely ketchup you're always welcome on my posts!!

[o2girl]

That is super tough. I'm so sorry you are even having to deliberate this. Big ((((((hugs))))))
If it were me...... I would go. I have a thing about final goodbyes, and I have regretted the ones I never had. Is there much walking around or can you sit the majority of the time? Would your mom be understanding of the lack of social graces? Or would you feel like you had to walk around and greet everyone? Those are the questions I would ask myself.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. (((((Hugs)))))

[nikolie93]

This is a hard one You say you are more so going for your mom. How is she doing?

If it were me, I would try my best to do both, especially if my mom was looking for the support.

I'm sorry you have to make this decision. *hug*

[lizblue]

I'm only going to comment on the IUI part. I've had six and felt 100% fine after five of them - like completely five, can do anything afterwards fine. One of my IUIS left me pretty crampy so I laid on the couch for awhile but was mostly fine. There is a good chance you will feel absolutely fine after your IUI.

As far as attending the funeral- I think that's a personal decision without one right answer.

GL on Monday! I'll be thinking of you.

[agpjt413]

I have no experience with IUI, but also agree w/ Bug re: your monitoring appointment. If your IUI is still scheduled for Monday, I'd say go for it! It's a medical procedure that was scheduled beforehand. Keep us posted with everything, sweetie!!

[4furrypaws]

Jan 16, 2015 21:36:41 GMT -5 rslh10 said:

I should edit my post to mention that my grandpa and I were not close at all. AT. ALL. I would be going strictly for my mom.

That does change things. Def go through with your plans Hun. If you are up to going afterwards fine. If not fine.

Does your mom have others that will be there supporting her if you would be unable to attend??


Edit. Clarification

[elliecat17]

I think that you are not being selfish, and I think you should do the IUI. If you feel up to it go to the funeral. However if it's your mom you are worried about tell her that you are honoring life, and trying to carry on the family instead of dwelling on death. (sorry if that's harsh). I liked the suggestion on having your H drive. Good luck with your decision!