How to get started? Foster Care/Adoption in NC *UPDATED *

[dani302011]

Hi all--

I am new to this board and I am hoping for maybe some guidance. My husband and I are interested in foster to adopt but I don't even know how to or where to start. We live in NC and I have attempted to do research on line and even reaching out to my county's child protective services by email, but I still can't get a clear understanding on how to get the process started.

I realize that we can look up and use an agency, but most charge $2500+ just for home studies. I would like to just go though the state/county, but their website really provides no information. If you have done foster care in NC, specifically in Cabarrus County, can you provide some guidance.

Thanks!

update in replies

[redandblue]

Sorry no advice to offer as we are in Canada, but wanted to wish you good luck! Could you call the agency and speak to a live person? I would assume they will offer some type of information sessions.

[ceejay]

dani302011 - welcome to the board!

Every state's foster care law and procedures are so different, and I don't have any experience with NC's system. I would continue looking around online to try to find more information. In my state, you can get licensed through either the state offices or a private agency. But the private agencies are contracted through the state, and there aren't any fees for home studies. They aren't the same private agencies that do infant adoption, they are specific for foster care licensing. Maybe your state is similar?

[dani302011]

Well... I just talked to DHS. Apparently our county (state) doesn't have a foster to adopt program. We can only be foster parents with a set plan to assist in reuniting the child with their birth parents. Which I understand is the point of foster care, but I had also heard and read about a lot of people becoming foster parents to adopt, and since we are willing to adopt a non-infant (age 2-5) I thought this was the proper route to go. Kind of a let down. I did get more detailed information on what we would need to do if we decide to move forward with this route.

DH and I want to be parents and I am not sure we could handle falling in love with a child only to know we can't adopt. This is something we will have to think and pray about. Thank you ceejay, and redandblue, for your responses.

[ceejay]

Dec 20, 2016 12:10:30 GMT -5 dani302011 said:

Well... I just talked to DHS. Apparently our county (state) doesn't have a foster to adopt program. We can only be foster parents with a set plan to assist in reuniting the child with their birth parents. Which I understand is the point of foster care, but I had also heard and read about a lot of people becoming foster parents to adopt, and since we are willing to adopt a non-infant (age 2-5) I thought this was the proper route to go. Kind of a let down. I did get more detailed information on what we would need to do if we decide to move forward with this route.

DH and I want to be parents and I am not sure we could handle falling in love with a child only to know we can't adopt. This is something we will have to think and pray about. Thank you ceejay , and redandblue , for your responses.

Your state sounds similar to mine. We were told the same thing when we started contacting DCFS and private agencies, looking to foster to adopt children under age 5. Most states do have "waiting children" lists of kids that are already available to adopt, but they are typically older, in sibling groups, and/or have special needs. And the process for adopting these waiting children is often not clear. MH and I ultimately decide to do foster care because we hoped to get placements in the 0-5 age range.

Best of luck to you and your H as you decide whether or not to pursue foster care. MH and I have had our current placement (two little boys) for about 16 months. We are so attached and in love with our foster sons, and it's been the most difficult and stressful experience of our lives - not knowing if they will be ours forever or if they will return home. We never realized how stressful and emotionally draining the whole experience would be. It is very rewarding and we are thankful for every day we get to spend with our boys, but living in a constant state of uncertainty is difficult and not for everyone. Feel free to PM me if you have any more questions about fostering!

[redandblue]

Sorry for the disappointing information. There are a couple of people here doing foster with hopes to adopt, so if you have any questions I'm sure they can help you out! Hugs to you and YH as you decide what you will do moving forward.

[CurlySu717]

dani302011 , I have a contact in NC who is in the final stages of completing a second adoption. I've not yet spoken to this person directly; he's a friend of my father's. My Dad has been pushing me to talk to him even though we live in Texas. Happy to get his info for you if you'd like! Feel free to PM me.


ETA: He adopted through the foster system, so I believe it is possible.