Openness around the Holidays
Dec 31, 2016 10:06:21 GMT -5
Post by redandblue on Dec 31, 2016 10:06:21 GMT -5
Hello All!
I hope that everyone has had a nice holiday season with your LO's! Over the holidays we were able to have a visit with DS2's bio-brothers (ages 6 and 8 years who were both adopted by the same family from birth). We have had contact with this other family since we were matched via our local CAS. We are still navigating this new and wonderful, yet unique family dynamic. They live about 6 hours away from us, so we have only had a couple of short visits together over the past year and a half. Due to a variety of circumstances our son's birth mother is not able to parent, so when her pregnancy with our DS was discovered, this other family was approached first to see if they would be able to add another child to their family. They had to make this impossible decision for their family, which resulted in the most wonderful thing for my family. Due to their boys being older, we take their lead with respect to how they talk about our families and we have settled on titles for the boys and call them BB's (like BB Jason or BB Luke). This keeps it simple, but yet allows for some understanding of their relationship. Like most family you don't get to 'pick them', so as parents we are continuing to work on our relationship with each other. In other words, our visits are somewhat awkward still. They are such lovely, kind people, but some-what socially awkward (and I'm sure it is only magnified by our unique family dynamics now). I feel blessed that our families have been brought together, and know over time our relationships will feel more comfortable. I love that both of us feel strongly about ensuring that our boys establish and maintain their relationships!
How have other people been experiencing openness with your LO's birth families?
I hope that everyone has had a nice holiday season with your LO's! Over the holidays we were able to have a visit with DS2's bio-brothers (ages 6 and 8 years who were both adopted by the same family from birth). We have had contact with this other family since we were matched via our local CAS. We are still navigating this new and wonderful, yet unique family dynamic. They live about 6 hours away from us, so we have only had a couple of short visits together over the past year and a half. Due to a variety of circumstances our son's birth mother is not able to parent, so when her pregnancy with our DS was discovered, this other family was approached first to see if they would be able to add another child to their family. They had to make this impossible decision for their family, which resulted in the most wonderful thing for my family. Due to their boys being older, we take their lead with respect to how they talk about our families and we have settled on titles for the boys and call them BB's (like BB Jason or BB Luke). This keeps it simple, but yet allows for some understanding of their relationship. Like most family you don't get to 'pick them', so as parents we are continuing to work on our relationship with each other. In other words, our visits are somewhat awkward still. They are such lovely, kind people, but some-what socially awkward (and I'm sure it is only magnified by our unique family dynamics now). I feel blessed that our families have been brought together, and know over time our relationships will feel more comfortable. I love that both of us feel strongly about ensuring that our boys establish and maintain their relationships!
How have other people been experiencing openness with your LO's birth families?
