3am Panic Attack

[hollyberry]

I am sorry for the panic attack!! Hugs lady and try to breath. It will all come.

The diaper bag,
A Extra soother for each
A extra full set of clothes for each
Disposable changing pad, sometimes two
About 3 diapers each
Baby whipes
Burp cloths, 2
Bibs one extra each
Bottles, always one extra each just in case.

Of course of your babies are very prone to spit up then more extra clothes

We only bath the babies once a week and were shown how to do it in the NICU, we use just water and when they were young we used a muslin blanket, we would wrap them in in put them in the tub and us that to wash them with. Now that they are a bit older I will wipe them down every morning with a baby wipe to just feel a bit fresher. Especially necks and bums.

The dresser and closet are semi sorted by size. The dresser has the clothes that they now wear and at our change station we have boxes for each baby with their onesies and sleepers, its all they were in when they were little.

Truthfully you will move things when you know what works for you.

Eating: again the NICU got us on a schedule and we stuck with it. They eat every 4 hours. And as far as bumping up the amount I did that when they were hungry before the 3.5 hour mark. We used formula from the beginning so I don't know about BF. We juat started with the amount the hospital gave and whwn from there as far as how much from the start.

I was on bed rest (modified) so i didn't do anything myself, luckily for me MIL came and organised us, but mh just had to step up and do things. I can see where it may be hard fpr YH and having long work hours, but its better then you over working yourself. I don't like others helping but to keep the babies safe inside I had no choice.

At the beginning it is so very overwhelming, but you will get there, and you will learn what your babies need and the diaper bag will just handle itself. The first few outings are hard, but it gets easier.

Please try to relax and I hope you are back to sleep now. Hugs! You got this!!!

[Deleted]

Hugs!! Pace yourself on getting things done. You still have a month and in the early stages babies honestly don't need much at all. They don't care if all the nursery decor is done. Just need some clothes, place to sleep and tons of diapers/wipes.

Bathing- we bathed every 3/4 days but got the neck rolls daily with a wash cloth and water. The only exception was if there was a major blowout then bath was normally immediate!

Feeding- tell your OB you plan on BF and ask if there are lactation consultants that are at the hospital. If there isn't one you have time to find one in your area or contact a la leche league leader for help latching/positioning early on.

Other then that I like the PP's diaper bag list. And always feel free to ask questions both here and on our BMB!!

[Run20K]

Are there any classes at your local hospital? My hospital offered a childcare class and that helped tremendously.

Also - I understand your anxiety. I'm the same way and, at least for me, it didn't get better until DD was 12 weeks old. You'll figure a lot out as you go along. It sucks being physically limited, but I promise it gets SO much easier after you deliver.

Hang in there!

[richzep]

I think we've all been there. But luckily babies don't need much when they're born. Feed, change diaper, cuddle. That's it.

As the weeks and months pass, you're going to get to know your kids so well that it really will be mothers instinct that gets you through it.

You're going to know things about your babies that nobody else will. She needs to be held. He needs to be burped. She's cold. He's tired. Etc. You won't need google because you're the best possible mommy for them.

Plus, were all here to help you through it. You got this, mama. Don't let a little c section date make you feel like you're not prepared.

[pbandj714]

Even with the best intentions of organization, I'm usually pulling clothes out of the laundry basket to get them dressed because just finding the time to put away clean clothes in their dresser doesn't happen that often. And I have just kept a big plastic tote in their room to throw outgrown stuff in on the reg because they grow SO FAST.

Try not to stress yourself out. You really will figure out what works for you as you go. And trust that bathing a newborn is never easy, even if you "know how". They hate it, so you just power through a few awful baths with the damn sling until the cord falls off and they can actually sit in the warm water. That's when mine started enjoying their baths, which made them exponentially easier.

I don't know if you plan to BF or FF or both, but that one was hardest for me, too. Let the staff and the hospital, your pedi, and your babies guide you through. If they cry after they finish a bottle, a lot of times that means they're still hungry and try giving them a little bit more. It took me a bit to figure that out as silly as it sounds because I was "giving the amount the pedi said, so why is he crying??" Well, little boy was still hungry and was telling me so! They'll let you know what they need, mama. And we're all here for you, too!

[piccyami]

We also keep a muslin swaddle blanket in the diaper bag for each baby. I use those things for everything.

I was definitely not prepared when Z and W were born, and things weren't finished because I had been on bed rest for 3 weeks.

We learned what worked for us and things have moved all over the house as we figure out what works and what doesn't work. And that changes by the week, it seems. I've started putting most of their clothes in bins by the changing table downstairs. We spend so little time in their nursery these days that pretty much all their clothes and diapers are downstairs.

BF didn't last very long for us because I never made enough for both of them, so the pediatrician told us to increase their feedings as they seemed to want more at a feeding.

You've got this and we're all here, too!

[nomnom]

I tried to plan everything out. It made me feel better, but it didn't exactly work the way I thought it would. Don't worry about getting everything right the first time. You'll adjust to whatever you find works based on your babies' personalities and needs. As PP said, keep them fed, clean, and warm (and let them sleep, of course) and anything else is a bonus. Yes, you'll probably google a lot of stuff. That's fine.

As to your specific points:
--I hate not being able to do things, too. I could save us $100-$200 by fixing the handle on the back of our car, but I'm too tired and sore after a normal day. There are a lot of household things I've had to let go because MH is too tired/busy/whatever to do everything and I just can't do it anymore.

--I still don't know how to organized a closet. I'm trying a different solution as soon as we find a dresser for the hallway. I don't like having the kids' clothes in the closet because I can't pull their clothes out for the next day after they go to bed without risking waking them up. Subject to review and change.

--Most people bathe their kids a couple times a week, I think (barring blowouts or serious puking). MH and I put them in the bath nightly to get extra food/formula/yuckiness off. I've found that moisturizing baby soap helps their skin a lot so I don't have to put lotion on them nearly as much. Opinions will vary.

--I fed my kids until they didn't want anymore. It worked for us and they (sometimes loudly) dictated their schedule. We always top them off before bed. It used to be a bottle, now it's a snack or dinner.

--diaper bag: hollyberry gave you a good list. I would add some sort of butt paste/moisture barrier, little tubes of pre-measured formula if you're FF, hand sanitizer, and a bag for dirty diapers in case there isn't a garbage nearby. I've always used the changing pad that came with the diaper bag or something similar instead of disposable ones. I wipe it down with a baby wipe after each use and occasionally disinfect it at home. If we're travelling, I also add a snot sucker of some sort. You may consider putting a nail clipper in the diaper bag. When babies fall asleep in their seats, it's the perfect time to clip sharp little fingernails.

[DVMmomma]

My kid is 2 1/2 now and I still wing it. But she's happy, healthy and doing great in spite of me. I'm not quite as type A as I used to be thanks to her. I screw up. A lot. And I'm not as good as some other moms who always just seem to have it together and never forget anything. But. Serenity now. Life has gone on. Improvisation happens. I do the best I can.

[DVMmomma]

Oh and I don't think anyone here nailed it right out the gate. Every mom is different and every kid is different. It takes a good while after they're born to learn what works for you and them and what makes most sense for your family.

Edited for grammar.

[jd]

I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time. If I remember correctly, your journey to this point has been very difficult, so I think it's perfectly understandable why you might be feeling stressed out and anxious. I can 100% relate to the anxiety of not knowing how to do anything, and I did take a couple of classes because I deal with anxiety by educating myself on the source of the problem as much as possible. While they definitely helped, our first night home with the twins was still terrifying and overwhelming and that's normal. But like others have said, these are your kids and you will learn them. You'll be surprised how quickly and how efficiently you learn to respond to their needs. And of course, keep in mind that their needs are super limited at first, like PPs said. Seriously, they feed, sleep, poop, and pee. If you have a roof over their heads, food, and clothes, you'll be fine. Trust that; most of the other stuff is cosmetic.

[bocaburger]

Deep breaths. You are going to be just fine.

The beginning is very hard, and you will be overwhelmed. Just put one foot in front of the other and before you know it, you will look back and realize how much better it is already.

We took a class through Twiniversity (over video chat, so you can do it from home) that we found helpful. We also liked the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD.

Ask tons of questions at the hospital. The nurses showed us the best way to hold, swaddle, etc. They gave us a packet with lots of info to take home.

There are a million ways to do everything, and you will learn what works for you and your family. As long as your babies are fed and loved, they will be ok. Breathe. You've got this.

[requiressnacks]

@wineandcupcakes...I could have written your exact post back in October! I was the newbiest of the newb FTMs and literally had no clue WTF to do with one baby....let alone two.

Now, 8 weeks later, I feel like such a badasss that these two little humans are happy and healthy in my care.

The first 4 weeks were a total blur and were hard as hell. They pushed me, my husband and our marriage to our limits. I'm not going to sugar coat it - it was hard AF. And I can't even tell you how many times I thought it would be so easy with just one baby. So....get your resources aligned now. Get help arranged, assign people to shifts, tell them what meals you want, hire a cleaner, etc. I also reached out to my local multiples chapter and found out when their next meeting was being held. (I attenddd when the babies were 3 weeks old and it was amazing. Not just to get out of the house, but to talk with other MoM)

As far as a couple of your questions...

- I organize clothes by size. I bought a lot of plain white onesies to be worn under sleepers and long sleeve onesizes. I underestimated how useless short sleeve onesies are in winter.

-I set up a changing station in the nursery and downstairs. In early days we changed pretty much all diapers downstairs. I don't think we stepped into the nursery until 4 weeks.

- I bathe the babies every other day. Mainly for relaxation purposes for them. You don't bathe them until their umbilical cord falls off though. Also, figure out where you will bathe. We do it in our kitchen sink so I moved all the towels, wash cloths, etc into the kitchen.

And I googled everything and anything you could think of when they were first born. I have no idea what people did before the internet.

ETA....mine ate every 3 hours, formula fed. DS was in the NICU and this was their schedule. I instituted an eating schedule pretty early on because it made me feel sane.

Invest in a big tub of Triple Paste. It's awesome for diaper rash. My babies shit so much in the beginning that their buttholes were raw. Triple paste saved the day.

[requiressnacks]

This was my favorite book. Easy read, and keeps it real.

What to Do When You're Having Two


www.amazon.com/What-When-Youre-Having-Two/dp/1583335153

[river]

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful advice.

@wineandcupcakes, I also had a 3 am panic attack last night, so you're not alone. I hope tonight is better for you. xo

[fightersince83]

A lot of this they help you figure out at the hospital. We got clear directions about how much/how often to feed. DD came a month early. In fact our baby care and breast feeding class were the following week...after she came of course. Bathing they also walk you through and they give the first bath. At my hospital they did it in the room so we could see what they did. As far as diaper bags go: formula and 2 bottles (if you're using them), a handful of diapers, burp cloths 2 is good. Pacifier if you're using one. Wipes. A change of clothes for each baby in case they have a blowout. A changing pad. Dresser/closet is nbd- you'll be going through it and rotating things they grow out of ALL THE TIME so you have plenty of opportunities to arrange/rearrange it all.