Pain and bleeding, attempting to DTD, advice?

[briannea]

Maybe this is TMI, but we've tried to have sex three times and I can't make it to full penetration. I have a little pain and bleeding from my perineum but it feels more like a pelvic muscle issue. I'm using lube, so it's not about friction. I feel like a freakin' virgin. How do I get over this hump, so to speak? I'm eleven weeks tomorrow and we're both getting frustrated.

[kfaye]

I have no ideas of what to do to help, but wanted to let you know I'm experiencing the same thing. It's so painful we have not been able to dtd...I'm 12 weeks pp. I did have some pretty bad tearing during labor and I'm thinking that maybe I'm just not healed completely. I work at an OBGYN and was going to ask one of the rn's if it is normal

[spikesmom]

No tips but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. I had a c-section and it is still extremely painful (weird bc I thought this wouldn't be an issue) we have only managed it one time and it was awful and I've been to scared to try again. My poor H has been great but I feel super bad. I'm also having a hard time getting in the right frame of mind, it's hard turning off "mommy mind"

[jpinky9]

Oh my gosh! I feel the same way!! I had an episiotomy and so many stitches!! I am 14w pp today and we DTD last night for the third time since delivery and it's still so painful!! I don't have any bleeding but I feel like a virgin again too, and afterwards I feel like I have been punched in the vag! Sex scares me!! And I agree about turning off the mommy brain!

[momof2boys]

Post partum sex really is a "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again" kind of thing. Lots of foreplay, lots of lube. If you're still bleeding/tearing after/during sex- I'd see your doctor as that seems out of the ordinary for this long post partum. There are also some instances where the muscles down there can go into kind of like a permanent spasm causing extreme pain (a friend had this, without having a baby) during intercourse, but that's pretty rare. But otherwise, the only way to make the post sex "punched in the vag" feeling go away is to keep having sex. And after my first it was 12-13 weeks post partum before we had anything resembling successful sex. This time we managed a little sooner, but it's still not always the most comfortable. And as for turning mommy off - I am never in the mood to initiate it, but I never regret going through with it when he initiates. Good luck!

[jpinky9]

Yeah I told DH last night that it almost feels like if we did it more often it would hurt less! Basically I need to hump it out!

[xctsclrx]

I had a c section and DTD hurt so bad. We used lots of lube and tried different positions. I think that because it hurt so bad the first time I was really tense the rest of the time. Now I have to force myself to relax. Sometimes still hurts but not unbearable. And the more often we do it the less it hurts. My DH is really respectful and doesn't try to guilt me or push me more than I am willing. When I say I'm done we are done. As for turning off mommy mode: that's hard. We wait til LO is down for the night (we do not cosleep) and DH spends a good amount of time getting me in the mood.

[tacocat]

Definately ask the doc, at least for peace of mind. My sister had a 4th degree tear and had to have a surgery almost a year after for repairs. Not saying that is your issue, but sometimes the area just needs some more medical attention. Better to take a look now then wait like she did. I hope you get it figured out...I know it must be stressful.

[kaimee27]

I haven't had near what you're going through, but I have had some soreness/pain with sex too. I did have a big episiotomy, and I think that's what it is. We've just been taking it really slow and using a lot of lube, and that does seem to help. I would probably give your OB's office a call though and see if they want you to come in or not, for peace of mind if nothing else.

[heatherbee]

I would ask the dr too. I'm in the same boat, and my doctor noticed my tear had something called granulation tissue which can cause a lot of pain and some bleeding. It's gotten a little better after a quick procedure my doctor did but still needs some time to heal. I was also given some numbing gel for when I try to DTD until it heals more.

Also, drinking wine beforehand works


The things no one tells you before having a baby ...

[lissydee]

Champagne works like a charm!

[ninergirl52]

Feb 15, 2015 14:37:58 GMT -5 spikesmom said:

No tips but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. I had a c-section and it is still extremely painful (weird bc I thought this wouldn't be an issue) we have only managed it one time and it was awful and I've been to scared to try again. My poor H has been great but I feel super bad. I'm also having a hard time getting in the right frame of mind, it's hard turning off "mommy mind"

This. All of this.

[briannea]

Feb 15, 2015 22:54:19 GMT -5 heatherbee said:

I would ask the dr too. I'm in the same boat, and my doctor noticed my tear had something called granulation tissue which can cause a lot of pain and some bleeding. It's gotten a little better after a quick procedure my doctor did but still needs some time to heal. I was also given some numbing gel for when I try to DTD until it heals more.

Also, drinking wine beforehand works


The things no one tells you before having a baby ...

Thank you for bringing this up. I finally went to the doctor yesterday and that's what it was. It stung really painfully during the procedure and then fur a few hours after but I already feel better. The OB said to wait another week or two for sex but I'm not in a hurry anyway.

[zengal]

briannea I'm so glad you went to the doctor and got relief!!!

[spikesmom]

briannea I'm glad you went to the doctors and they were able to help!

My H and I DTD the other night and it hurt so badly, even with numbing gel from the doctor:-( Maybe TMI but it hurt to pee the entire next day and I bled a little all day. I had a c-section so I have no idea what the issue. My poor H is so supportive and not making me feel bad at all but I still feel terrible for him.

[spikesmom]

briannea I'm glad you went to the doctors and they were able to help!

My H and I DTD the other night and it hurt so badly, even with numbing gel from the doctor:-( Maybe TMI but it hurt to pee the entire next day and I bled a little all day. I had a c-section so I have no idea what the issue. My poor H is so supportive and not making me feel bad at all but I still feel terrible for him.

Any other csection ladies still having issues? I'm almost 15 weeks pp

[luckymommasc]

spikesmom, I had a C-section too, but mine was for failure to progress, so I didn't do any pushing (don't know if that makes a difference or not). I have a lot of pain when we are DTD, but I wouldn't call it excruciating. What helped the other night was changing positions a lot and also DH being very responsive to cues (i.e. slow down, STOP, etc). Foreplay was a must...

It feels like I'm a virgin (touched for the very first time...), which is hilarious considering the circumstances. I also feel terrible for DH, but I try to "help him out" in other ways to make up for it.

I plan on asking my doctor about it when I go for my annual next month, but I would definitely go sooner if I was concerned about it.

[spikesmom]

luckymommasc I never went into labor bc I had a medically necessary scheduled csection. I also feel like a virgin which us indeed pretty funny. I have also been "helping" H but it's not the same obviously. I'm not super concerned but if it continues I will check in with my doctor. Thank you for the response, helps to know I'm not the only one!

[ninergirl52]

I had a csection as well. I'm 17 weeks Pp & we've only DTD once. It was pretty uncomfortable & we haven't tried since. Which I feel bad about, but Dh has been awesome. We plan on trying again in the next week. Really hoping it doesn't hurt too badly.

[userdeleted]

Mar 3, 2015 16:30:31 GMT -5 spikesmom said:

briannea I'm glad you went to the doctors and they were able to help!

My H and I DTD the other night and it hurt so badly, even with numbing gel from the doctor:-( Maybe TMI but it hurt to pee the entire next day and I bled a little all day. I had a c-section so I have no idea what the issue. My poor H is so supportive and not making me feel bad at all but I still feel terrible for him.

Any other csection ladies still having issues? I'm almost 15 weeks pp

Hi there - lurking from D14, and I feel like I could have written your posts. I had a c-section 15 weeks ago. We've only tried once at about 9 weeks pp. We couldn't finish, and I was sore for about a week. This sucks. I want to try again, but now I'm tense about it. His b day is coming up...time to get liquored up and busy, I guess. Any of you having better luck since posting?

[spikesmom]

userdeleted I haven't been brave enough to try again yet! Plus I'm exhausted from lo so hard to get in the mood to begin with. It sucks but I'm pretty sure it's one of those things that will get better the more you do it... But it's hard when it hurts so much! Fingers crossed it will get better for all of us!