About a month ago I was diagnosed with bronchitis and still have some lingering mucus. Last week I coughed up some mucus as I was heading out the door and rather than run to the sink to spit it out I spit it into an empty water bottle sitting on the counter by the door for recycling. Later that night I noticed my H had refilled it with water and was drinking out of it. oops, I didn't tell him. Sorry H.
About a month ago I was diagnosed with bronchitis and still have some lingering mucus. Last week I coughed up some mucus as I was heading out the door and rather than run to the sink to spit it out I spit it into an empty water bottle sitting on the counter by the door for recycling. Later that night I noticed my H had refilled it with water and was drinking out of it. oops, I didn't tell him. Sorry H.
I'm afraid that if we don't decide to have a third, I'll never have sex again. H has literally no interest in me at all, like I was rejected several times on our honeymoon. SO yeah, my sex life may have ended at age 28.
The last time we did, it was like absolute torture for him and solely for the purpose of getting me pregnant. That was in October.
Heck, he hasn't even kissed me on the lips in years.
My confession: Sometimes if I need motivation to push myself when I workout I think about if things ended and I could possibly find someone that liked me if I lost the weight.
hotcoconuts82 Yeah, we've talked about it several times, because it makes me feel like crap to have to beg for physical affection/be turned down all the time. He says that I have unrealistic expectations of marriage and that we're not young anymore, I'm now 29 and he just turned 31....
I think that the one that doesn't want to trumps the one that wants to. Like I don't think it's OK to expect someone to have sex or even kiss if they don't want to, but I'm feeling pretty deprived 4.5 years into this. It feels very roommate-y.
hotcoconuts82 Yeah, we've talked about it several times, because it makes me feel like crap to have to beg for physical affection/be turned down all the time. He says that I have unrealistic expectations of marriage and that we're not young anymore, I'm now 29 and he just turned 31....
I think that the one that doesn't want to trumps the one that wants to. Like I don't think it's OK to expect someone to have sex or even kiss if they don't want to, but I'm feeling pretty deprived 4.5 years into this. It feels very roommate-y.
I'm so sorry you have to beg for affection. It shouldnt be that hard. I mean you h isn't wrong, relationships do change. But it sounds like he had intimacy issues since early on.
bwisco123, Jesslfar, it's crossed my mind but I don't know how to suggest it, and he doesn't see it as a problem. He did tell me that he's stopped taking care of things for himself too. Like there's just no drive there.
I think it's partly related not wanting me though. I've gained a lot of weight and I'm not exactly appealing, so I can't blame him really.
Post by flyinghorses6 on Jan 21, 2017 8:39:48 GMT -5
linny12 I'm sorry you feel that way. My husband and I always joke about how we have passed our sexual prime (same ages as you) because our sex life dropped off severely after K. But, I firmly believe that relationships go through phases. We will get back to one another at that level one day. I'm not comparing by any means, just trying to tell you that there are many, many times when I totally relate.
We have young children and hectic schedules, we aren't laying around in bed all day like we used to before serious jobs and kids. I also find myself thinking once I get my body back from pregnancies, things will get back to more normal because I will also want to have sex more. But I do think that you feeling like you aren't getting any physical affection is his problem. You don't need to have sex, to feel like your partner wants to be near you. I crave hand holds, hugs, kisses and just sitting close to one another. Thankfully DH makes an effort to show me love in other ways. Maybe you can talk to DH about other ways you can find that "closeness" and start there.
I think it's partly related not wanting me though. I've gained a lot of weight and I'm not exactly appealing, so I can't blame him really.
Girl don't bring yourself down like that. Obviously his issues go beyond your physique. And I would side eye anyone who stopped sexing their partner solely because of weight gain, but even more so when that person has been growing you children over the last couple years. I think this sounds like him, not you. Love yourself lady ❤
linny12 you are breaking my heart. It frustrates me that his issue has impacted you like this. You are beautiful and your weight doesn't change that. You are a wonderful kind woman and a great catch. Your H seems to not care about what you need. That's not ok. You need to be loved, hugged, kissed and intimacy. These are not extreme requests. I know I'm not around all the time but it seems like he gets "the last say" A LOT. you two are equals in this. Remember that. Wanting affection and to be admired by your husband is not something you should have to beg for. I kind of want to kick him in the ass and have a talk with him myself.
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