Is it just me? Everything has turned into a battle with my Feb child lately. He screams about every little thing and he's never been like that before. It's a battle every morning at breakfast when we don't get him his food instantaneously. It's a battle to get him to let me cook. It's a battle every bathtime. It's a battle when he doesn't get to brush his teeth for as long as he wants because he's screwing around and DH has to leave for work. He refuses to do anything I tell him to, but he harasses me all the time about the most random stuff. And suddenly, he's asking for "treats" all the time. I don't even know where that came from. It's like, his behavior became horrendous and his entitlement exploded. I'm at my wits end.
And he's finally giving up his nap but it makes him 1000x worse from 5-8pm. (He fights quiet time too, tooth and nail.) I thought they were supposed to get sweeter around 4. My sweet boy has turned into a little monster.
Post by crimsonandclover on Jan 27, 2017 5:20:53 GMT -5
Yeah, we went through the battle phase this summer/fall. It seems to be getting a bit better, now, but we're not over it entirely. I have no advice, just empathy. Hang in there - everything is just a phase. The next phase will come with its own challenges, but at least they'll be *different* challenges.
For routine type things we have made him lists of what he has to do and he loves it. We have a list for bedtime and a list of expected behaviors. IDK why he likes this but he shows the lists to people when they visit. Just an idea we got from our sleep consultant
The one thing that continues to drive me nuts is the fight over him going to the potty before we leave to go somewhere. He will insist he doesn't have to go but I'm not putting an almost 4 year old who hasn't peed in over an hour into the car. So that's the one battle we keep having. We just tell him we aren't leaving until he goes but sometimes you have to get moving.
Post by colinsfebmommy on Jan 27, 2017 9:56:20 GMT -5
We still get meltdowns over the most stupid things. HOWEVER coming into 4 has been SO much better than coming into 3. When he turned 3 it was like an asshole switch went on. It didn't help he had a new baby sister though either. It was rough. In fact 4 years ago almost we had our munchkins, I would love to see updated pics of your kids!
For routine type things we have made him lists of what he has to do and he loves it. We have a list for bedtime and a list of expected behaviors. IDK why he likes this but he shows the lists to people when they visit. Just an idea we got from our sleep consultant
The one thing that continues to drive me nuts is the fight over him going to the potty before we leave to go somewhere. He will insist he doesn't have to go but I'm not putting an almost 4 year old who hasn't peed in over an hour into the car. So that's the one battle we keep having. We just tell him we aren't leaving until he goes but sometimes you have to get moving.
Yep. I have to incentivize peeing. And he will ask if he needs his hat and gloves. If I say no, he yells. "No but i want to wear themmmmm!!!" Ok? So wear them. Lord.
For routine type things we have made him lists of what he has to do and he loves it. We have a list for bedtime and a list of expected behaviors. IDK why he likes this but he shows the lists to people when they visit. Just an idea we got from our sleep consultant
The one thing that continues to drive me nuts is the fight over him going to the potty before we leave to go somewhere. He will insist he doesn't have to go but I'm not putting an almost 4 year old who hasn't peed in over an hour into the car. So that's the one battle we keep having. We just tell him we aren't leaving until he goes but sometimes you have to get moving.
Yep. I have to incentivize peeing. And he will ask if he needs his hat and gloves. If I say no, he yells. "No but i want to wear themmmmm!!!" Ok? So wear them. Lord.
The other day we used a freeking cup of water as incentive to pee. It's so ridiculous lol. Just pee
Oh I hope not -- we are finally emerging from a nightmare period where if he didn't get his way he would just close his eyes and scream for 10 minutes. Now at least we can talk about it and he only screams for 2. It feels like a huge achievement!
Post by brachysira on Jan 27, 2017 17:35:30 GMT -5
Wow photos! So grown-up! I can't believe how old the kids look and it's not like I don't see preschoolers everyday.
My child is always up for a battle. Never in her life has she wanted to make it easy. But it does get worse and better and it sounds like you're just in a bad phase. I would say that we just stopped doing some things that are hard. Like, my DD has never wanted to potty before we go somewhere. I know she can wait and will tell me when we need to look for a bathroom with lots of notice. My in-laws were horrified and apparently even as adults everyone in their house goes to the bathroom before they go anywhere, but it just takes another thing off the getting-ready-battle list so we don't make her go if she doesn't want to. Baths are tiring, so we don't do them as often as some people. And we let DD hang out in the tub by herself with really reduces the asking for things. We don't make breakfast during the week. The kids have trail mix (dry cereal, raisins, nuts), a cup of milk, and an apple or something similarly easy most mornings. I don't know how to break the "I'm hungry" thing if that's what asking for "treats" is. But I do try to avoid keeping (or letting on that we have) anything really junky in the house since if there are cookies or something the kids really beg for them and I have to make rules for when they can eat them.
Our most recent battles were clothing related but I gave up. So she wakes up around 5:30 and will play in her room and get herself dressed. The outfits aren't always awesome. Summer dress in the middle of winter sorta thing. The other day after we came home she was trying to take her shirt off and I see she is wearing three of them. Then she shows me she has 4 undies on. All to go with the pants and tutu.
brachysira I'd be thrilled to never tell him to potty but he had accidents in his car seat this past week and a few weeks ago. He swears he doesn't have to go if we ask. He told me once in the car he had to go (it was 5 min until we would be home and a minute later he told me he went.
Post by brachysira on Jan 28, 2017 12:18:59 GMT -5
pinkie, I'm sure it will improve soon and then you can stop the potty requiring perhaps. I think my kids just opt to wear diapers long past when they've been trained so we've not had that phase where they have to go and can't hold it or the phase where you ask every 10 minutes. We did once have a potty in the car which helped at parks and other places. I should probably put it back in.
Screaming and whining are our battles. It actually has been slightly better in the past week or so, but there were times recently that my notoriously difficult 2-year-old was better behaved than she was. Things would very quickly escalate- she would start screaming at me and even push or hit me when she needed redirection or when I was trying to referee a fight between her and her brother. Then she'd scream all the way down the hallway to her room, slam the door, and continue to scream. I have been trying to stay more calm myself (no easy matter some days) and do more explanations and warnings of when we are transitioning activities since that was definitely a source of problems. I have noticed a difference since I started working on my own responses instead of just yelling and losing my temper right away.
Whining and crying about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is another struggle. I've kinda just been shutting it down immediately and saying "You need to say that without whining," or "This is not something you need to cry about." I mean I don't want to be too harsh and stunt her emotionally or anything but I also think she needs to learn proper responses and that she doesn't immediately need to freak out about everything....
Oh, quiet times never worked here either once the napping stopped, at least not putting her in her room. Most days she watches something on TV in the afternoon and I count that as a rest time.
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