Again, really I think I just need to leave him be. He's a persistent like thing. But his brother was too. We had to let him CIO twice in his life, but he was much older. (Like 15 months and 2 yo)
I would support this. I know pedis are okay with it. I think people way over value the crying baby. They cry. Its not going to break them. It's harder on us than them.
britta some kids are just tougher. We tried sleep training with DD1, both with checks and with extinction and after 3 nights of her crying 1.5 hours plus getting so worked up she puked and was hyperventilating I decided it just wasn't for her. Maybe I wasn't strong enough but I just couldn't do that to her anymore.
So yes I spent more time laying with her to get her to sleep than I would have liked, but once she was older and I could reason with her things got a lot easier.
I'm not saying don't try it or anything, but I think a lot depends on the kid.
ETA: that was at 6 months so maybe we waited too long to start also.
Post by iwantbacon on Feb 27, 2017 12:29:25 GMT -5
Sleep is shit. Pacifier still being used but I wonder if it's causing more issues than helping. Someone's he will want to eat at night, sometimes not. But he does fall asleep pretty well on his own to start the night. Just sucks after that. Will be doing CIO after 6 months because F these MOTN wake ups.
Post by macaronmama on Feb 28, 2017 12:29:21 GMT -5
I think we are going to go for total time slept for night sleep. We moved DS back to an 8:30ish bedtime and he slept 7 hrs straight. I will take 1 MOTN wakeup versus 3 to 4.
sanibel21, the sleep sense program I followed with DS1 (based on Ferber/Weissbluth) says to remove all sleep props like pacifiers, swaddles and rocking/nursing to sleep. Loveys like small blankets or stuffed animals are fine, as are blackout shades and white noise.
Thank you. And what age does it say to sleep train?
becole does Ferber say anything about binkies when sleep training?
He says to get rid of anything that's causing issues with wake ups motn. So like the pillow metaphor- if you woke up motn and someone stole your pillow, you would get up and look for it and maybe be angry about it. So if rocking to sleep or nursing to sleep doesn't affect motn waking and your kid is sleeping all night, then it's fine. But if your child is waking and once you give it back they fall back to sleep, it's become a crutch and needs removed if you want to stop having to replace it.
becole does Ferber say anything about binkies when sleep training?
He says to get rid of anything that's causing issues with wake ups motn. So like the pillow metaphor- if you woke up motn and someone stole your pillow, you would get up and look for it and maybe be angry about it. So if rocking to sleep or nursing to sleep doesn't affect motn waking and your kid is sleeping all night, then it's fine. But if your child is waking and once you give it back they fall back to sleep, it's become a crutch and needs removed if you want to stop having to replace it.
This is a good point! I didn't sleep train DS until 11months old. When I did we had to use extinction because check-ins didn't work for him. However I was able to nurse him to sleep during and after sleep training without it affecting his ability to sttn. It was our bonding time.
I guess I just don't know when sleep training is needed. DD2 usually wakes twice per night and won't go back down without nursing. She's 17 lbs. I just feel like she should be able to go longer than 4 hours overnight by now. She can go 4 hours during the day. I'm nervous about ditching the swaddle, or the merlin if and when we switch to that, the binky because I don't know if she's ready. But the longer wait, the longer I feel like I'm in graining those into her sleep regimen. Argh.
I guess I just don't know when sleep training is needed. DD2 usually wakes twice per night and won't go back down without nursing. She's 17 lbs. I just feel like she should be able to go longer than 4 hours overnight by now. She can go 4 hours during the day. I'm nervous about ditching the swaddle, or the merlin if and when we switch to that, the binky because I don't know if she's ready. But the longer wait, the longer I feel like I'm in graining those into her sleep regimen. Argh.
I would suggest reading the chapter I posted in the pg. Sleep training is not necessary. Sleep training is a tool to use if what's currently happening with sleep is not working for you or your child. If it's not broke or if you're fine getting up 1 or 2 times/ night make no changes. If your child is cranky and tired or not getting enough sleep or naps- ST might be helpful. It's all about what's happening with your kid, which is why I have no yet ST this child. Currently he has very little sleep crutches, puts himself to sleep easily, and I feed him once/ night which I am okay with right now. He is also napping well, gaining weight well, and happy during the day. If he starts doing something different or I am ready to drop night feeds, that's when I will ST.
sanibel21 I don't think anyone can really tell you when the right time is. It's more about when (or even if) it's the right choice for you and your family. When you start sleep training you really shouldn't give in or it just sets them back even farther. That's why I waited with DS until 11 months. I didn't trust myself not to give in when he was wailing, it really can be heartbreaking.
I guess I just don't know when sleep training is needed. DD2 usually wakes twice per night and won't go back down without nursing. She's 17 lbs. I just feel like she should be able to go longer than 4 hours overnight by now. She can go 4 hours during the day. I'm nervous about ditching the swaddle, or the merlin if and when we switch to that, the binky because I don't know if she's ready. But the longer wait, the longer I feel like I'm in graining those into her sleep regimen. Argh.
FWIW, with DS we didn't have to ditch the pacifier until close to his 2nd birthday when he figured out that if he threw it out of the crib and wailed we'd eventually come in. At that point he wasn't even really using it for naps. We ditched it cold turkey. He slept in a sleep sac until we transitioned him out of the crib at 26 months. So if she likes the swaddle, but you want arms out, something to consider.
As for DD, she likes to have a pacifier to go to sleep but if it falls out she doesn't need it put back in once she's already asleep.
So last night we went to Ash Wednesday service at 7 and the baby fell asleep in the car. When I went to take him out around 8:45, I went ahead and fed him even though he didn't really wake up. At one point in the night he woke up, but I gave him a paci expecting to have to go back in. He slept until 5:30am or so. So now I'm wondering if I should do a dream feed at 10pm before I go to bed to get him further or if that will mess with his sleep cycles/ overall rest. I had read that sleep before midnight in babes is like development sleep- which is why you want an early bedtime. I couldn't move the dream feed later because his waking is very inconsistent with the time. Anyone do dream feeds?
So last night we went to Ash Wednesday service at 7 and the baby fell asleep in the car. When I went to take him out around 8:45, I went ahead and fed him even though he didn't really wake up. At one point in the night he woke up, but I gave him a paci expecting to have to go back in. He slept until 5:30am or so. So now I'm wondering if I should do a dream feed at 10pm before I go to bed to get him further or if that will mess with his sleep cycles/ overall rest. I had read that sleep before midnight in babes is like development sleep- which is why you want an early bedtime. I couldn't move the dream feed later because his waking is very inconsistent with the time. Anyone do dream feeds?
Did them with DS...not because he wasn't sleeping, just to help him gain weight. They worked beautifully for him. We'd do them around 10pm when we went to bed. It was the only bottle he never spit up after.
So last night we went to Ash Wednesday service at 7 and the baby fell asleep in the car. When I went to take him out around 8:45, I went ahead and fed him even though he didn't really wake up. At one point in the night he woke up, but I gave him a paci expecting to have to go back in. He slept until 5:30am or so. So now I'm wondering if I should do a dream feed at 10pm before I go to bed to get him further or if that will mess with his sleep cycles/ overall rest. I had read that sleep before midnight in babes is like development sleep- which is why you want an early bedtime. I couldn't move the dream feed later because his waking is very inconsistent with the time. Anyone do dream feeds?
I don't do them only because I go to sleep at like 8 lol. However DD makes sure she gets in her "dream feed" by waking herself up between 10-11 a lot of the time. Most of the time she does sleep until 6-7am. I can't say anything consistent anymore. Some days she will sleep 12 straight hours and other times she will wake 2-3 times in a night. No rhyme or reason to it!
Did anybody do the method when you check in every 5 minutes? If so, when did you use it? I usually nurse to sleep (last feed coincides with bedtime), but he's been up every few hours. Last night it was bed at 7:30 pm followed by a 10:30 pm wake-up, 3:30 wake up and 5:15 wake up. Can I use the cry it out but check in every 5 min throughout the night?
Did anybody do the method when you check in every 5 minutes? If so, when did you use it? I usually nurse to sleep (last feed coincides with bedtime), but he's been up every few hours. Last night it was bed at 7:30 pm followed by a 10:30 pm wake-up, 3:30 wake up and 5:15 wake up. Can I use the cry it out but check in every 5 min throughout the night?
Check the pg- I posted the Ferber chart that shows the checkins and the timing.
Did anybody do the method when you check in every 5 minutes? If so, when did you use it? I usually nurse to sleep (last feed coincides with bedtime), but he's been up every few hours. Last night it was bed at 7:30 pm followed by a 10:30 pm wake-up, 3:30 wake up and 5:15 wake up. Can I use the cry it out but check in every 5 min throughout the night?
Check the pg- I posted the Ferber chart that shows the checkins and the timing.
Amazing. Thanks. I'm dying over here in no-sleep land.
Did anybody do the method when you check in every 5 minutes? If so, when did you use it? I usually nurse to sleep (last feed coincides with bedtime), but he's been up every few hours. Last night it was bed at 7:30 pm followed by a 10:30 pm wake-up, 3:30 wake up and 5:15 wake up. Can I use the cry it out but check in every 5 min throughout the night?
Check the pg- I posted the Ferber chart that shows the checkins and the timing.
Anyone have experience with or thoughts about sleep training without night weaning? Is that a thing? Would that even work?
I'm not going to night wean. With DS1, I put him to sleep at 630-7 pm. If he woke after 1 am, I went in to feed him once. Then I wouldn't go back in until 6 am. So if he was actually hungry, he could eat, but nursing was no longer a sleep crutch or just to comfort nurse. He didn't wake up every night and ended up dropping that feed on his own within a couple months.
Better to start sleep training on a Friday night? I'm at the end of my rope, but don't want to start on a week night because work and all that. Stupid jerk pacifier addiction without being able to get the pacifier back in himself.
Also not planning to night wean at this point. DS2 doesn't nurse at night every night but he seems to chow down when it happens.
Anyone have experience with or thoughts about sleep training without night weaning? Is that a thing? Would that even work?
I found it hard with my first. I did ST to get him to initially put himself to sleep. He was feeding to sleep but would wake and cry when I put him down and then I'd pick him up and put him back on- so I basically put him in the the crib and patted him and did checks and he only cried like 15 minutes. The motn I tried to set a time- like before 3am, H will go in, after 3, I will go in and feed once. But he was a kid that would just keep waking up regardless. I tried to do Ferber and it would work but he just kept waking to eat regardless. He would put himself back to sleep though. At 10 months I wanted to drop the night feed and Ferber checks wasn't working so we did cio at that point after the checks didn't work. Then he started sleeping all night.
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