AW: Going public about our IF

[bocaburger]

H is giving a big presentation today at school, and as part of it he will be talking about our IF journey. We have told most of our friends and family at this point, but this will be totally public. Lots of people will be there and also it will be posted on FB afterwards. I'm so proud of him for getting to a place where he is able to face what we went through and use it to help others, but it feels scary and vulnerable at the same time.

[kensie5226]

FWIW I've been public for quite awhile with our IF. (Just yesterday I told a busy-body who asked if we wanted more kids- that "well, I'm shooting myself up with fertility drugs as we speak so I really hope so.") I've had nothing but overwhelming support. I know some people are worried about pity, but I don't engender that. Everyone has been very positive and offered support. (Some peoples' forms of support are questionable, but that has nothing to do with IF).

[westiemom]

I'm also super public and have never received anything other than love and support. I do get a lot of questions though!

[MellyKnu]

I'm honestly impressed that he's willing to go public with it in such a big way. It seems like men are more hesitant to talk about IF. We went public with IF a few months before starting our IVF cycle. I made a post on FB about infertility and PCOS. Honestly, it didn't get much of a reaction at all. I think people just didn't know what to say? The more I talked about it face to face, though, the more people were willing to ask questions and offer support. Now when people ask if/when we're going to "make another one," I tell them that they're already made, we just need to decide if and when we want to put another one in. Honestly, I feel so much freer since we came out. And I've been able to help other people I know beginning their journeys, which is deeply gratifying.

[luvboston]

Keep your head up! You might find some amazing people this way! Imagine if someone was also suffering but didn't want to tell you and now it will be ok to talk. We have always been open and have had some of the best experiences because of it. Your husbands a rockstar in my book.

[TJ]

Yh sounds awesome. Mh has always been open about our IF, but I was always private about it until we moved here. It does almost seem like a relief to be able to be open about it and answer questions.

[kaf7]

I feel vulnerable when I broach it too. I am not fully public about it. Kudos to both of you.

[Deleted]

That's awesome of your husband to do that. I went public with our IF journey and it did get a lot of attention from my friends and family. I was surprised to have several people PM me and tell me their stories. And I never would have guessed they had IF. It was nice to find others out there (as awful as it is) who I could connect with on a whole new level.

[ampaints]

That's awesome. We went public when we announced our pregnancy. I've had several people reach out to me to share their story and also when they needed support. I hope his presentation went well!

[bocaburger]

Thanks for your support everyone! His presentation went really well and we both feel really good about "coming out". Unfortunately the video didn't record right so we haven't been able to show people who weren't there, but hopefully we will at least be able to share parts of it. I'm so proud of him.

[bluefairy5]

That's really cool. I hope the presentation went well! Were you there?  ETA whoops, cross-post.  Glad it went well and you got to see it!  

We're sort of in/out about it with family. Starting to get a little more open about it. I shared doves' story on FB and alluded to being a longstanding part of an online community where every pregnancy is hard-won and much wanted. That was probably the absolutely most public I'd been about it. Big props to YH, and you for supporting him!

[gsancho]

That's great!! It does seem harder for guys to talk about it sometimes, so it's great he felt comfortable with it.

[rainbowbridge14]

That is amazing that he did that. School can feel like a really hard place to do that too. I came out in a similar qay through sharing kn a class. It was awkward but also very freeing.

[oceanhutt]

That's awesome!!! I'm pretty open with people but DH isn't super open about it due to the MFI. I follow his lead when speaking about it in public not that anyone would need to ever know why we did what we did. I do small things like share that article on what the changes to healthcare could do to IVF and I like our clinic on Facebook. Nothing else really though publicly

[kensie5226]

oceanhutt, while we are open about our IF, we don't answer questions about our diagnosis. I've always said that it's a couples' medical issue and let anyone asking who is the "problem" know how insensitive that is. I always say we're infertile, etc. Except for a very select few IRL friends who know the whole story.

@dyork, I have also had quite a few people share their stories with me when I talk about it. Everything from diagnoses to multiple loss stories.

[hrushka]

That's awesome. Way to go, Mr Boca!