Nanny Advice?

[mae0111]

Hi! My kids are 7 and almost 4, and we've had a nanny since I my oldest was 4 months old. I WFH 2 days a week.

I was very open about me being home when we went through the interview process. Some people didn't like it, so we knew it wouldn't be a good fit. Others were fine, but I largely stay out of the way when she's there. My office is in a separate part of the house, so it helps the kids to settle in with her.

One big question I'd ask is their own childcare plans, if they have kids. When my kids were younger, I did not want a nanny that brought her own kids. I had several candidates that would say care wasn't an issue because their kids were in school. When I asked about school vacations, they'd almost act offended and say that OF COURSE they would bring their kids. It's personal preference, and at this point I wouldn't mind at all, but depending on your house set up, it could get chaotic while you're there.

Ask about what plans the nanny might make for the kids. Are you comfortable having the nanny drive the kids? I find it so helpful that our nanny takes our kids out for the morning when they dont have school. You can get a driving record if needed.

Good luck!

[librarychica]

Hi! Welcome. Ditto to everything mae0111 said. We had a nanny for 4 years and now use daycare. We did ok her bringing her baby for a while, but she had worked with us for years at that point. It went ... okay. It would have been find if it was just the 4yo and her baby. The 1yo, 4yo and her baby made it so the 1yo tended to get overlooked.

Some people weren't okay with H being home (he works from home, I don't) but most were. Some random sitters we have hired for days when the nanny was out for whatever reason would be rather over dependent on him being home -- asking him to calm a fussy baby and put her down for nap, for instance. So I recommend erring on the side of experienced and independent.

Otherwise, we asked about discipline techniques, things they would do with the kids, communication preferences (would they write down a report on the baby's day? Do they prefer written or verbal instructions?) and driving.

[akafred]

Just some basic info: You have to pay their portion of the taxes as well as workers comp insurance and unemployment insurance. If you hire for a contracted period, put that in your contract, otherwise when you let them go, they can collect unemployment. That is why you have the insurance, but still, keeps the rates down. I was appalled when my nanny who had been late/no show for months after a minor car accident left her without a car (and she wasn't super reliable before that) filed for UE. I actually let her go because she called in to tell me she wouldn't be there that day because she had court for the car accident. I happen to know because my H got a couple tickets a decade ago that traffic court is Wednesday and this was not Wednesday so I did some digging. Apparently the charges were driving on a suspended license 2nd offense. So before the accident she had been driving DD without a license! I had actually done a background check and copied her license but it didn't come up. And then after the accident obv she couldn't drive DD anymore including to pick her up from preschool. So I let her go and she filed for unemployment. I was not amused. Pretty sure I made a good enough case for them to decline her though.

[helenahhandbasket]

No advice, but hello, and welcome!

[brachysira]

I have done this but just hired students and called them baby-sitters and never did anything with taxes or contracts. I was teaching online courses, so they knew it was for the semester only and I only did a few hours/week and would ask them to come more when I had lots of grading or something.

The problem with big kids is that they always want YOU. So even if you have a good play room or something, you have to make sure you can escape. The only way this really works with my kids who are 2 and 4 is to send them out. I always have someone do a few hours when I'm home at first so I can listen to them talk to the kids and answer baby-sitter questions (and make sure they don't just have the kids watch TV, which several of them did even though I said it was not allowed) but then I just have the baby-sitter walk with the kids to the park or library. Once I know them better, the baby-sitter can drive the kids to indoor play places, nature centers, classes, etc. If you're doing 2 full days, you'll have to train your kids to leave you alone more than mine can unless you head out to a coffee shop or something.

I pay about what care.com says and I feel like it's on the low end for what my friends pay. I only pay $10/hr but I also tell them that we are really flexible so they can take a day off whenever and I think that makes up for the lower pay.

[billybumbler]

Hi! Make sure you make it very clear verbally or in a contract what's allowed - TV / screens, can she take the kids out and where, driving or no driving etc.

Also be really clear about what she's expected to do chore wise - put dishes in the washer, clean up after kids, pick up toys or make kids pick them up etc.

I don't think you need to tell them you're trying this out. It's not a dick move. With any childcare arrangement you never know if it's going to work out for you or your kids.