PSA 5 years pregnant

[ihatepizza]

I was literally just having this conversation yesterday with someone

www.google.ca/amp/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5892565ae4b0bf5206e5f28b/amp

[teachermomtobe]

As a teacher I don't have paid leave. I can use my sick days if I want to be paid. You always hear about how teachers unions are the worst and ruin everything. Yes, clearly we just get all these amazing benefits *eye roll*

DH on the other hand gets 3 weeks paid leave.

[cateyes]

I shared this the other day on FB because it is so true. I am a county worker and in the same boat of having to use PTO for leave if I wa t pay. I am lucky that I can flex my hours so I don't need to waste PTO for appointments but that's my only perk. People talk about the greatness of working for the county/government but really there is no real perks. :/

[ihatepizza]

@teachermom cateyes as a Canadian (who has taken too many sociology courses it seems) that I can't understand why our countries differ so much in their support for new mothers

Support shouldn't depend on where you work or who your employer is

[cateyes]

Feb 5, 2017 15:04:35 GMT -5 ihatepizza said:

@teachermom cateyes as a Canadian (who has taken too many sociology courses it seems) that I can't understand why our countries differ so much in their support for new mothers

Support shouldn't depend on where you work or who your employer is

Agree completely! I know of moms who have been in a bad situation financially, maybe single parents, maybe just financially strained, whatever, and have had to return to work after just three or four weeks. It is so terrible.

[applemuffins]

I live in NY and starting next year they are beginning to roll out paid parental leave state wide. Too late for me

[ihatepizza]

In Canada we have one year at 55% EI, it can be taken as mat leave or pat leave. My place of employment covers 6 months topped up to 100% (mat leave) and 10 weeks topped up to 100% (pat leave). I'll be slitting with DH so we will both have 9 months. Compared to our southern neighbours it's great, compared to Europe it's nothing

[ihatepizza]

Feb 5, 2017 17:18:56 GMT -5 cateyes said:

Feb 5, 2017 15:04:35 GMT -5 ihatepizza said:

@teachermom cateyes as a Canadian (who has taken too many sociology courses it seems) that I can't understand why our countries differ so much in their support for new mothers

Support shouldn't depend on where you work or who your employer is

Agree completely! I know of moms who have been in a bad situation financially, maybe single parents, maybe just financially strained, whatever, and have had to return to work after just three or four weeks. It is so terrible.

I can't even imagine, you wouldn't even be 100% by then

[animaldoctor]

I am lucky to live in one of those few states that does pay. Too bad it is nothing near my normal pay but I am grateful for what I can get. Now I just need to finish bargaining with my boss that I am not coming back after 6 weeks and am taking 12 no matter what.

[marshian]

It's completely backward how the U.S. is one of the greatest, most powerful countries in the world and yet we do nothing for new parents. If we don't start providing paid leave, I bet our birth rate continues to decline and then we're in a situation like Japan where they aren't replacing their population.

[starsandshamrocks123]

I am lucky my company changed their policy last year (after many complaints) but they could still do better. I won't need to take any unpaid time. I get 5 weeks STD at 100% but I have to use sick days the 1st week. I get 70% pay after that until 12 weeks (would have been 10 if not for the RCS). I'm using vacation time for some of those weeks. Last time I got 8 weeks so I ended up using vacation after that and then unpaid. The unpaid was tough for us even for 10 days.

I know our country will catch up eventually. I have told myself I won't be that old jealous bat when that happens. I will be happy that mothers (and fathers) will hopefully be able to take time needed. But I wish it was that way for everyone already

[pinecone21]

I'm in CA, and I get paid leave, but it's kind of crappy. First, I have to use up all of my vacation and sick time, even what I earn while I'm out. Then for the rest of the time I get 50% pay. I mean, it's better than nothing, but what am I going to do when I have 0 sick time and a sick baby? Make my husband stay home with a sick baby who only wants to nurse all day, while I pump and cry at work? This is so not family friendly.

[ihatepizza]

Feb 6, 2017 13:03:56 GMT -5 pinecone21 said:

I'm in CA, and I get paid leave, but it's kind of crappy. First, I have to use up all of my vacation and sick time, even what I earn while I'm out. Then for the rest of the time I get 50% pay. I mean, it's better than nothing, but what am I going to do when I have 0 sick time and a sick baby? Make my husband stay home with a sick baby who only wants to nurse all day, while I pump and cry at work? This is so not family friendly.

That is so horrible, especially if you are the one who ends up sick and has to go in anyways because you have zero time left. That being said I hope that doesn't happen

[sdlaura]

Feb 6, 2017 7:15:51 GMT -5 marshian said:

It's completely backward how the U.S. is one of the greatest, most powerful countries in the world and yet we do nothing for new parents. If we don't start providing paid leave, I bet our birth rate continues to decline and then we're in a situation like Japan where they aren't replacing their population.

Japan sells more adult diapers than baby diapers   I work in the investment industry and whenever there's talk about the macroeconomic environment and how declining birth rates lead to lower GDP, I figure at least DH and I are doing our part by having more than the average number of kids!

[leloyd]

I am lucky. My company offers 18 weeks of maternity leave (8 weeks paternity leave) at 100% pay. I think the first week uses up sick time but I'll take it. We can also tack on another 2 weeks of vacation time to bump it up to 20 weeks. They just upped it this year, so with my first it was 12 weeks. I remember at 6 weeks leaving an appointment with a lactation consultant and thinking how crazy it is that at that point most of my friends would have had to go back to work. I was just figuring out how to breastfeed. If I had to go back then, that would have been the end of breastfeeding for us. My husband remembers a woman he worked with who returned to work 2 days after giving birth because she could not afford not to be working. I really wish our country would prioritize this issue.

[sdlaura]

My bigger policy issue is lack of affordable, high quality childcare, since that impacts families for much longer than maternity/paternity/parental leave. But wouldn't it be amazing if we could get some progress on both issues?!

[pinecone21]

With DD I went back to work at 12 weeks and I was so ready. The newborn stage is not my favorite. I needed some alone time, problems with predictable solutions, and adult conversations. There's no way I would have been ready at 6 weeks though. I was still a hot mess of hormones and sleeplessness at that point.

I am grateful to have access to high quality reasonably priced daycare through my job. It's around $600 per month per child. Other daycares in the area are easily twice that amount. I really don't want to be a SAHM, so we're stopping at 2 kids. If daycare cost more, DD might have been an only child.

[bewise]

I work for a school, so I will luckily be off until mid Aug anyways. Our leave policies suck though. I can use my sick days until my dr releases me (typically 6 weeks for vaginal, 8 for csection). And then I can take up to 12 weeks unpaid. With the timing of things, I shouldn't have to use any sick days. But if I want additional time off it will have to be unpaid.

I think I'm just going to go back when school starts and liberally use my sick days when I feel the need.

I had some maternity leave plus all summer off (beginning of May- mid aug) when DD was born. I think I would have been ready to go back at 8 weeks though.

I love my kid but I also love my job.

[brandiewine11]

It's definitely a crappy situation.

I was working full time when I got pg with my first. The policy was you could take short term disability at 60% pay for 6 weeks (8 with a c/s), then unpaid for a total of 12 weeks. But short term disability only applies after 12 months of employment. I got "laid off" at 6 months pregnant. Right.

When looking for new jobs, I realized I would be entitled to zero paid leave at all at any job, as I'd only be employed maybe 3 months before giving birth. And FMLA did not apply so technically I was entitled to zero leave at all, above and beyond any sick time depending on where I got the job (I live on the border of 2 states). Luckily my state at least mandates 6-8 weeks of unpaid leave regardless of employment time....

Long story short, I chose not to go back and just do contracting work to make up some income. I'm very grateful that was an option for us. I had lots of complications and was actually unable to work for over 3 months so would have been fired regardless.....It's pretty sad.

[lulu783]

I had DD in 2015 and I got 6 weeks - use 5 days of sick time, then STD at 60% (which was capped at a lower rate) for 5 weeks. My employer is smaller than 50 people, so no FMLA and at that time it meant no 12 week protection. I didn't challenge it but returning to work was tough. However, I can see the flip side of being home longer making it tougher too.

This time around I've made it clear I will be taking 12 weeks and we are working on a way to recoup some unpaid time with vacation and some work from home time. I should also add I was never truly offline during my last maternity leave. I just couldn't completely unplug and my boss is kind of needy. I'm going to try to be better at that this time around.

[ihatepizza]

lulu783 I am the same person as you, if my employer didn't take away my cell phone and computer I would find myself getting sucked into work

[sdlaura]

lulu783, your second maternity leave may be different. I stayed pretty in touch during my first leave, but was so much busier dealing with a baby and toddler the second time that I wouldn't look at my work phone for days at a time! Plus I think I also realized more that things wouldn't fall apart without me since I'd done it once before

[lulu783]

Feb 10, 2017 12:35:29 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

lulu783 , your second maternity leave may be different. I stayed pretty in touch during my first leave, but was so much busier dealing with a baby and toddler the second time that I wouldn't look at my work phone for days at a time! Plus I think I also realized more that things wouldn't fall apart without me since I'd done it once before

Yup to all of this! A 2.5 year old and a newborn will keep me much busier, I'm guessing! 

[starsandshamrocks123]

lulu783 my company deactivates everything while on leave. People were calling me for help and I couldn't log in and help. I had to talk them through some things over the phone. I realize if i had access they would have continued to call me because it was easier for them. Now this time I'm grateful for it. They wanted me to log in "once a week" to take care of something and I was like, sorry! Can't!