PgAL/PAIF Weekly Check-in 2/14-2/20

[RajahMD]

Welcome to the PgAL and PAIF check-in!

This is a weekly check-in for those of us who are pregnant after loss and/or infertility. Feel free to jump in any time!

The check-in is a safe place to share all things that come with being PgAL and/or PAIF. Use this thread to ask questions, share your excitement/rage/worries/whatever, or to ask for support!

Please come on in and let us know how you're doing, and know you are always welcome to come back throughout the week whenever you need to!! ♥

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PgAL Mantras

www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/1034/pgal-mantras

PAIF Mantras

www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/57254/welcome-paif-read-before-posting



**Loss/trigger warnings are not necessary here**


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Please feel free to include your IF and/or Loss history if this is your first check-in.

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Anything else you'd like to share?

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety?

[wannabmama]

How far along are you? 11w5d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Just got a new wave of feeling crappy physically but it's been pretty mild until now so trying not to complain...too much.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Nothing this week...willing time to pass quickly to 12/27 out next u/s

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Ok now thanks

Anything else you'd like to share? I've been having such crazy, detailed dreams. A few stressful and anxiety provoking some just weird and a few happy, but the vividness is really shocking sometimes!

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? I love the mantras. And MH keeps saying, everything is good unless we know that it's not, so I try to push doubt away by thinking that way. I've also been pinning some nursery ideas and ordered some work maternity clothes, all sort of to make it feel more real and like it's really going to happen...

[wannabmama]

Hugs @mattsgirl2004 it's so hard not to analyze every little thing and worry about what's going on when you can't have constant updates. My doc explained to me that, especially in the beginning, the ranges of "normal" are wide and the measurements are not all exact, so I shouldn't think too much about a particular number and trust her if she says things look good. It helped reduce my anxiety a bit, at least. Hang in there!

[laurenash323]

How far along are you?
11w4d


How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Physically almost feeling back to normal. Usually get a wave of nausea once a day, and Im still pretty picky about what I want to eat. 


Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
Had another cervix check/ultrasound yesterday. Everything looks great. So I'll see my OB in 2 weeks and go from there. 


Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
Nothing at the moment. I'm nearing 2nd tri which makes me happy, but also nearing my loss milestone with DS (16 weeks) which scares me. 


Anything else you'd like to share?
I made this "announcement"...even though I'm not sure we will announce haha. 


QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Just remaining positive and trying to put my energy into projects around here and actually investing some energy/emotion into this pregnancy now. I'm hoping to pull out baby clothes over the weekend  

[laurenash323]

I couldn't get my pic to load on my computer...

[laurenash323]

Welcome anniebn! This Is also my 5th pregnancy and I have one 3 yr old dd. I've found this board and talking with other loss mommas has been so helpful for me this time around! Great news on good growth and hb!

[salmon2017]

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically much, much better. I can eat things now. And I don't feel like passing out by the time I get home from work. Of course, sore boobs are now my only symptom and so in spite of being almost done with 1st tri, I am afraid the baby is gone. Or sick. Or something. Anxiously awaiting results of NIPT; any day now.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Next Tues NT scan and check up.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Not really, just reminders to keep taking deep breaths.

Anything else you'd like to share? I have a zulily shopping cart full of maternity dresses for the summer but can't make myself buy them until I get my NIPT results. Till I know this baby will make it long enough for me to need maternity dresses. I want to do it, to force myself to invest. But my stomach is in knots every time I get to the purchasing stage. Gah.

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Knitting a temperature blanket for this little one and going to bed early.

[wannabmama]

salmon2017 I bought my first maternity stuff from zullily yesterday. Just a few things...it was hard to hit "purchase" but I figured I can probably re-sell if worst case and it felt surprisingly exciting to go ahead and buy (plus it was $80 all together, not a real huge investment). It's still the first thing other than a book that I've bought for the pregnancy!

[salmon2017]

Posting and running off to daycare to get DS. Results are in! A healthy baby boy. Tested negative for all trisomies. I am so relieved that I think I might barf.

[kellykapow]

Great news, salmon2017!

[laurenash323]

Wahoo salmon2017 boys are in the air!! 😀

[caybeh]

Yay salmon2017!!!!!

[salmon2017]

Thank you guys so much. I am elated.

[wannabmama]

Feb 15, 2017 18:21:15 GMT -5 salmon2017 said:

Thank you guys so much. I am elated.

Great news!!! Huge relief! 👍 congrats!🎉

[luciddreamer]

How far along are you? 7+4

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically, typical 1st tri stuff. The nausea has eased off the last few days, but the fatigue has picked up.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? My second u/s is on Tuesday!

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Just for continued growth and a healthy baby. I feel hopeful most of the time, but the worry that something could be wrong keeps creeping in.

Anything else you'd like to share? Nope

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Trying to think positively and correct my thoughts when I'm being pessimistic. Like saying "when we have this baby" instead of "if" and allowing myself to get excited.

[luciddreamer]

Feb 15, 2017 17:16:26 GMT -5 salmon2017 said:

Posting and running off to daycare to get DS. Results are in! A healthy baby boy. Tested negative for all trisomies. I am so relieved that I think I might barf.

Congrats on the great news!

[salmon2017]

Feb 15, 2017 16:41:54 GMT -5 wannabmama said:

salmon2017 I bought my first maternity stuff from zullily yesterday. Just a few things...it was hard to hit "purchase" but I figured I can probably re-sell if worst case and it felt surprisingly exciting to go ahead and buy (plus it was $80 all together, not a real huge investment). It's still the first thing other than a book that I've bought for the pregnancy!

I finally purchased my cart last night! One top and 3 dresses that should be good for work. Plus a set of 50 toy cars for DS. They were only $10 so I couldn't resist

[izzy0927]

How far along are you? 11 weeks

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Anxious wreck. I feel like my symptoms are gone, I have no stretching/cramping happening (I can't remember if I'm supposed to be feeling that now anyway), and I'm preparing to have to un-tell everyone the news after my next appointment. Having a really hard time staying positive.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Not until my 12 week appt 2/22, and then NT scan 2/27.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Please. Prayers that baby is fine and that my anxiety eases up.

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? I've just been throwing myself entirely into it, and making myself sick.

[salmon2017]

izzy0927, sorry you are feeling so anxious. If it helps, 11 weeks is pretty much exactly when I started to lose symptoms. Try to think of it as coming into the joys of the second tri! Sending you lots of prayers and good wishes.

[mambo]

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you? 11 weeks today

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically itchy.... So f'ing itchy. Emotionally I'm drained this week, I'm anxious and scared. Depression is a symptom of cholestasis and I have depression anyway. I have a whole lot of crap going on at work. I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday again for this.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? We saw babe on Tuesday heartbeat 168 measuring right on track. I'm scared that I may have to deliver in July with the onset being this early.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Anything for the cholestasis I don't know what to pray about or think about. I'm just nervous and scared. Mira's birth was scary and she was fine, healthy but my placenta was in bad shape.

Anything else you'd like to share? Um I'm just bleh this week. Thank goodness I have my pregnancy emotional wellness group next week.

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety?

Hahahahahaha um not as much as I should be. I'm just admittedly not ok. I'm going to have to find a therapist... A good one.

[mambo]

Yay salmon2017!!!!

[salmon2017]

mambo, a pregnancy emotional wellness group sounds like something that would be good for all of us! How did you find it?

[mambo]

Feb 16, 2017 11:44:18 GMT -5 salmon2017 said:

mambo, a pregnancy emotional wellness group sounds like something that would be good for all of us! How did you find it?

Um my doulas office has it monthly. I used to run one when I lived in Hawaii. It was my life mission/goal to run them. When I finish my Master's I hope to be able to run one.

[izzy0927]

Feb 16, 2017 10:37:21 GMT -5 salmon2017 said:

izzy0927 , sorry you are feeling so anxious. If it helps, 11 weeks is pretty much exactly when I started to lose symptoms. Try to think of it as coming into the joys of the second tri! Sending you lots of prayers and good wishes.

Thanks- that really is reassuring. I opened pandora's box and pulled out the home doppler today. Found the heartbeat after about 45 minutes of stabbing myself with the probe and taking sobbing breaks. On one hand, I'm so grateful I found it- on the other hand, I know I just opened the door to obsessing over the doppler and making myself even crazier.

[hollydfromtn]

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you? 8+3

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Emotionally I'm ok. My first loss was due to an ectopic pregnancy, so our first ultrasound reassured me that baby is exactly where baby is supposed to be. We did have a bit of a scare at that ultrasound though. They found an unknown mass near my ovary and the dr, who I really don't care for, had us scared into believing it was a secondary ectopic in addition to the healthy baby in utero. We went for a second opinion the following day with the high risk ob and he said it was definitely not pregnancy related. He didn't really have a clue what it was but said it was likely just some impacted bowel that would take care of itself. I go back in two weeks for a follow up ultrasound with my him to monitor the mass, but he didn't feel a need to explore it further for now.

Physically I'm a mess. I'm constantly nauseous, never really throw up but feel like I can at any moment. I'm also exhausted. I knew being pregnant with a toddler would be different but holy cow am I tired.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Appointment with regular OB on Tuesday.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Just that the nausea subsides some and I can feel halfway normal.

Anything else you'd like to share?

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Just playing with my DS and our new pup.

[salmon2017]

hollydfromtn, welcome! Glad you are sure that this babe is in the right place. A few of us at the end of 1st tri are also STMs with toddlers. Let me tell you, the ongoing refrain is: do what you need to do. Let your kiddo watch more TV than usual. Ask your husband to pick up dinner on the way home. Forget about the laundry. Survival survival survival. You will make it to the other side!

[jessasaurus]

This is my first time checking in here. We tried conceiving for 17 cycles without a single BFP. I was getting testing done with a RE, and I was diagnosed with DOR. H also has some sperm issues we found out. We were just getting the finances together when I got my first BFP since my F14 daughter. I do feel a bit out of place because I didn't technically go through with the fertility treatments. I hope it's still ok that I join.

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you? 7+6

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? I'm doing ok. I fluctuate back and forth between being so, so excited and sure that it is too good to be true that I got pregnant after as long as we tried. Sometimes I'm sure that something has to go wrong at some point. Basically, I'm an emotional wreck.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? I have an appt on Monday with the regular OB. I get an u/s though to check on the baby, so I'm excited about that.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Just that everything is good with the appt on Monday.

Anything else you'd like to share? I don't think anything right now.

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? I'm trying to stay positive. I'm comforted by numbers, and I know that statistically, I'm getting less and less likely to miscarry because I'm getting further along by the day. I'm trying not to wish away this , but I really just want the first trimester to be done.

[holdingouthope]

Oops, I am late!

How far along are you? 9w1d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically, just beyond exhausted. My toddler keeps me on my toes when she gets home from daycare (I work from home so we do school day DC), and by 8 pm I am ready to pass out. Other normal 1st tri symptoms - nauseated off and on, etc.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Nope. I have my NIPT and OB labs scheduled for Friday next week. Next OB appt isn't until March 13, but I will get the lab results via email before then.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Same as everyone else, just for continued growth and good health for baby.

Anything else you'd like to share? I had my first OB appt and u/s on Monday and all looked good. I was so nervous that I forgot to even ask what the heart rate was, but it's probably best that I don't have a # to analyze anyway. My OB SHOCKED me and said that if the stars align (baby head down, I go into labor on my own), she will let me attempt a VBAC. I didn't even know that was an option. Honestly, that gave me a little bit of excitement because the idea of recovering from another section is not very appealing. So, we'll see. There are obviously a lot of obstacles that would need to be overcome in order for that to even become a possibility, and it's way down the road!

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? I just keep myself super busy. SUPER busy, all the time.

[RajahMD]

Feb 16, 2017 21:22:15 GMT -5 jessasaurus said:

This is my first time checking in here. We tried conceiving for 17 cycles without a single BFP. I was getting testing done with a RE, and I was diagnosed with DOR. H also has some sperm issues we found out. We were just getting the finances together when I got my first BFP since my F14 daughter. I do feel a bit out of place because I didn't technically go through with the fertility treatments. I hope it's still ok that I join.

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you? 7+6

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? I'm doing ok. I fluctuate back and forth between being so, so excited and sure that it is too good to be true that I got pregnant after as long as we tried. Sometimes I'm sure that something has to go wrong at some point. Basically, I'm an emotional wreck.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? I have an appt on Monday with the regular OB. I get an u/s though to check on the baby, so I'm excited about that.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Just that everything is good with the appt on Monday.

Anything else you'd like to share? I don't think anything right now.

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? I'm trying to stay positive. I'm comforted by numbers, and I know that statistically, I'm getting less and less likely to miscarry because I'm getting further along by the day. I'm trying not to wish away this , but I really just want the first trimester to be done.

You are definitely welcome here. IF messes with your head and your heart, regardless of what finally gets you your BFP.

Hell, I started the thread and I got pregnant during a testing cycle, so no treatments here either.

[RajahMD]

How far along are you?
11 weeks and 3 days

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Physically: like shit, but slightly better. I had diarrhea again most of the week- lost two pounds in 5 days. Finally stopped on Thursday. Still dealing the nausea and lack of appetite.
Emotionally: hanging in there. Doing a lot better since we saw the baby yesterday.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
NT scan yesterday. Lugnut was measuring right on track at 11w2d, with a heartbeat of 154. Unfortunately, Lugnut needed to measure at least 45mm to do the NT scan, but only measure 44.73. Luckily, that means I get another ultrasound next week!

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
I'm doing ok, so no for now.

Anything else you'd like to share?
I feel like I'm finally starting to accept that this is happening. Part of me was convinced that something would go wrong. I feel like I can actually start to bond with Lugnut now, instead of constantly worrying. I know I'll still worry some, but it's a relief to not worry as much

ETA: I forgot the best part! Check out my little Lugnut!