Help with family name

[purplehaze11]

As we wait out the first trimester, DH and I have started to chat about names.

We have one DD, Ka.te, who's middle name is a nod towards my family (Geor.gia). 

For this kiddo, DH wants to have a first name or middle name with a nod towards his family, which I understand, but ugh. His mother is Dutch, and her name is Gertruiida (Gertrude, Trudy). We both dislike it, and have no clue how to make it morph into something we like, as we did with our daughter. Any ideas?

[Idani]

If you don't like it should be out. Do your children have his last name? That is already a nod to his family so if I was you I would not use another family name on his side if I truly disliked it. I have to say Gertruiida is bad enough that I would absolutely veto it no questions. If there isn't a family name you both like and want to use don't force it.

[beevol]

What about other Dutch names or the names of other progenitors from his side?

I also agree with Idani though, if they have his last name that is more than a nod.

[ashiscute]

I mean he has other family members right? I very much like family names for middle names for my kids but they also have to be names we like on their own as well. Maybe not my favorite name ever but certainly not Gertrude. What's her middle name or his grandmothers' names?

[xcrissx]

I'm in your predicament except the opposite. We named DS for someone on DH's side and now I really want #2's name to be a tribute to my family. But man, my family sucks at names. I've got a couple of female choices I can deal with for a MN but I might have to give it up if this baby is a boy. And I've gone back 3 generations, looked at derivatives and variants and other languages-- I've about admitted it's hopeless. (Although if we find out that LO is a boy, I'll probably agonize over it for about a month before I give it up completely.)

Look at other family members, middle names, and surnames. Can his dad's name be "feminized" if you need a girl's name?

[dreadpiratebuttercup]

I would either honor another person, or let his last name be honor enough.

[drl]

Is there a last name you could use as a MN?

[purplehaze11]

His grandmother's name was Elisabeth, so I'm hoping DH will agree to that. It's more his mother who is the issue unfortunately. I'm actually not sure of her middle name(s) off the top of my head, but they are just as crazy fro what I remember. I'm thinking Greta might be a nice compromise if DH wants to go that way, I can't think of anything else semi similar.

[ugotstarbucked]

Greta or Gretchen? Instead of a direct link to his mom, maybe just use a Dutch name as a middle name?

[dreadpiratebuttercup]

Elisabeth is lovely! I also like PP's suggestion of Greta.

[billyhorrible]

My personal thoughts on the subject is that you honor the person, not the name. So it doesn't really matter if you love it or not, as long as you love the namesake.

I think of middle names as special secrets anyway, since most other people don't know them.