I'm going the opposite I think it's grumpy and fun hating to not celebrate the little holidays. I'm not talking about things on a Christmas scale of expensive gifts but a little something to make a celebration breaks up the everyday in life.
Clearly from my Valentine's dinner, I agree. My mom always made little holidays special by making a special dinner and doing little gifts and it's something I loved about my childhood.
Post by Susan0utLoud on Feb 16, 2017 14:22:35 GMT -5
I gave birth in one baby friendly and one not baby friendly certified hospital. The difference was night and day. Baby friendly we were there for 5 nights because they wouldn't supplement with formula and ds was jaundice and lost way too much weight. They finally allowed supplementing at 4 days and he thrived. Non baby friendly, I attempted bf twice and it was not good for many reasons. My amazing nurse sat down, put her arms around me and said it's ok to ff. And that's what I did.
I will forever feel that baby friendly scarred me with guilt and unrealistic expectations. Breast is best unless it isn't, but fed is always best.
:::hops off soapbox:::
ETA: I know not all baby friendly hospitals are the way mine was.
Gift giving for all these sub-holidays has gotten out of hand. It's like every month there is some kind of gift giving expectation. Gifts are for christmas and birthday only
I'm going the opposite I think it's grumpy and fun hating to not celebrate the little holidays. I'm not talking about things on a Christmas scale of expensive gifts but a little something to make a celebration breaks up the everyday in life.
I am all for this and agree. You are only a kid once. I remind myself of that a lot actually. I'm just against giving big gifts for these holidays.
I gave birth in one baby friendly and one not baby friendly certified hospital. The difference was night and day. Baby friendly we were there for 5 nights because they wouldn't supplement with formula and ds was jaundice and lost way too much weight. They finally allowed supplementing at 4 days and he thrived. Non baby friendly, I attempted bf twice and it was not good for many reasons. My amazing nurse sat down, put her arms around me and said it's ok to ff. And that's what I did.
I will forever feel that baby friendly scarred me with guilt and unrealistic expectations. Breast is best unless it isn't, but fed is always best.
:::hops off soapbox:::
ETA: I know not all baby friendly hospitals are the way mine was.
I didn't know that you attempted BFing with DD. I thought you had decided you were going to FF her from the beginning. Sorry those attempts weren't pleasant. Just curious, why were they "not good for many reasons?"
I gave birth in one baby friendly and one not baby friendly certified hospital. The difference was night and day. Baby friendly we were there for 5 nights because they wouldn't supplement with formula and ds was jaundice and lost way too much weight. They finally allowed supplementing at 4 days and he thrived. Non baby friendly, I attempted bf twice and it was not good for many reasons. My amazing nurse sat down, put her arms around me and said it's ok to ff. And that's what I did.
I will forever feel that baby friendly scarred me with guilt and unrealistic expectations. Breast is best unless it isn't, but fed is always best.
:::hops off soapbox:::
ETA: I know not all baby friendly hospitals are the way mine was.
I didn't know that you attempted BFing with DD. I thought you had decided you were going to FF her from the beginning. Sorry those attempts weren't pleasant. Just curious, why were they "not good for many reasons?"
We tried just after getting to recovery room and again a few hours later. It was very emotional a for me after what happened with ds and dd was not interested at all. I cried a lot, she cried a lot. Dh was distraught because he didn't want a depressed wife again. It became clear very quickly that my boobs are not made for feeding. I'm so fortunate that the hospital I was at that time supported my decision and encouraged to do what was best for us.
I gave birth in one baby friendly and one not baby friendly certified hospital. The difference was night and day. Baby friendly we were there for 5 nights because they wouldn't supplement with formula and ds was jaundice and lost way too much weight. They finally allowed supplementing at 4 days and he thrived. Non baby friendly, I attempted bf twice and it was not good for many reasons. My amazing nurse sat down, put her arms around me and said it's ok to ff. And that's what I did.
I will forever feel that baby friendly scarred me with guilt and unrealistic expectations. Breast is best unless it isn't, but fed is always best.
:::hops off soapbox:::
ETA: I know not all baby friendly hospitals are the way mine was.
I'm genuinely curious about this. I hope I'm not overstepping asking questions and bringing up bad memories, but I don't understand this on the hospital's part. Did you ask to give him formula and they said no? If your DH would have gone out to buy formula, they wouldn't have let you feed it to him? It just seems to me if they are baby friendly, the most important thing is to make sure the baby is fed and taken care of. And if they saw that breastfeeding wasn't working for you, you're obviously not going to keep trying it once you got home, so why not work with you on formula feeding?
I didn't know that you attempted BFing with DD. I thought you had decided you were going to FF her from the beginning. Sorry those attempts weren't pleasant. Just curious, why were they "not good for many reasons?"
We tried just after getting to recovery room and again a few hours later. It was very emotional a for me after what happened with ds and dd was not interested at all. I cried a lot, she cried a lot. Dh was distraught because he didn't want a depressed wife again. It became clear very quickly that my boobs are not made for feeding. I'm so fortunate that the hospital I was at that time supported my decision and encouraged to do what was best for us.
Tit for having a supportive hospital. But sorry about the experience.
I gave birth in one baby friendly and one not baby friendly certified hospital. The difference was night and day. Baby friendly we were there for 5 nights because they wouldn't supplement with formula and ds was jaundice and lost way too much weight. They finally allowed supplementing at 4 days and he thrived. Non baby friendly, I attempted bf twice and it was not good for many reasons. My amazing nurse sat down, put her arms around me and said it's ok to ff. And that's what I did.
I will forever feel that baby friendly scarred me with guilt and unrealistic expectations. Breast is best unless it isn't, but fed is always best.
:::hops off soapbox:::
ETA: I know not all baby friendly hospitals are the way mine was.
I'm genuinely curious about this. I hope I'm not overstepping asking questions and bringing up bad memories, but I don't understand this on the hospital's part. Did you ask to give him formula and they said no? If your DH would have gone out to buy formula, they wouldn't have let you feed it to him? It just seems to me if they are baby friendly, the most important thing is to make sure the baby is fed and taken care of. And if they saw that breastfeeding wasn't working for you, you're obviously not going to keep trying it once you got home, so why not work with you on formula feeding?
It was the hospital and the fact that we were first time parents. No one in our families had ever bf and we didn't know we could ask or demand formula. We were following their lead and know now that we should have spoken up. They were bullies about bf, massive mean bullies. I know they were following the rules but logically they should be able to see how much me and baby were suffering and made a change. They didn't though. It was bf bf bf.
I'm curious about my hospital. I was constantly asking for BFing support so I wouldn't know their stance on formula. I know some "baby friendly" hospitals have eliminated the nursery and will not take the baby so that the mom can sleep. Mine happily took both boys and brought them back when they needed to eat.
Doesn't "baby-friendly" translate to your baby is happy, healthy and fed,whether it be BF or FF? Susan0utLoud, I'm so sorry you had that experience. Luckily, my hospital was a pretty equal advocate of both. They asked if I was interested in BFing and since I said yes, they helped. They also provided free formula and told me how to use it.
Where's the mom friendly hospital? You know, the one that serves wine.
I have heard of hospitals that give the parents a nice (well, I don't know how nice it really is) dinner complete with champagne. That's my kind of hospital.
I'm sorry Susan0utLoud. It's already an overwhleming time and to have that added stres is awful. My hospital and OB knew I was breastfeeding, but they still gave me formula samples.
microworm I kept both babies the whole time. I was never asked if I wanted to keep them in my room or not.
I'm curious about my hospital. I was constantly asking for BFing support so I wouldn't know their stance on formula. I know some "baby friendly" hospitals have eliminated the nursery and will not take the baby so that the mom can sleep. Mine happily took both boys and brought them back when they needed to eat.
No nursery available at either hospital I was at. I think that's a west coast thing. It's much more common here than I've heard of anywhere else.
I asked for formula samples from the hospital even though I was Bf. I got a look but I think it was because she was thinking "you're just trying to get stuff free". Which I was. Why not? I also asked her to load me up with pacis as well since they have them. #soothierich
I'm curious about my hospital. I was constantly asking for BFing support so I wouldn't know their stance on formula. I know some "baby friendly" hospitals have eliminated the nursery and will not take the baby so that the mom can sleep. Mine happily took both boys and brought them back when they needed to eat.
No nursery available at either hospital I was at. I think that's a west coast thing. It's much more common here than I've heard of anywhere else.
There's one here too, but I didn't deliver at it. I wanted that nursery! I didn't even use it with #2 though.
Our L&D has a nursery but it's not used anymore as a nursery. The nurses will take the baby but they don't offer. They don't push BF, but they don't just automatically give you formula either. My niece when she had her baby got formula right away. We don't have a LC so they really can't push BF since there's no support there. But they prefer the baby to stay in the room with the Mom at all times, except when they need baby for testing.
I'm sorry Susan0utLoud . It's already an overwhleming time and to have that added stres is awful. My hospital and OB knew I was breastfeeding, but they still gave me formula samples.
microworm I kept both babies the whole time. I was never asked if I wanted to keep them in my room or not.
Oh maybe I wasn't clear. The babies stayed with me. I had to ask the nurse to take them for a couple hours so I could sleep. They didn't offer and I know some hospitals will refuse. Especially if they don't have a nursery like pp have stated. That practice is considered "baby friendly."
I'm sorry Susan0utLoud . It's already an overwhleming time and to have that added stres is awful. My hospital and OB knew I was breastfeeding, but they still gave me formula samples.
microworm I kept both babies the whole time. I was never asked if I wanted to keep them in my room or not.
Oh maybe I wasn't clear. The babies stayed with me. I had to ask the nurse to take them for a couple hours so I could sleep. They didn't offer and I know some hospitals will refuse. Especially if they don't have a nursery like pp have stated. That practice is considered "baby friendly."
Gotcha. Makes sense. I never asked and no one offered. I just assumed I was supposed to keep them.
I'm curious about my hospital. I was constantly asking for BFing support so I wouldn't know their stance on formula. I know some "baby friendly" hospitals have eliminated the nursery and will not take the baby so that the mom can sleep. Mine happily took both boys and brought them back when they needed to eat.
Mine does not have a nursery, they took it away when they went baby friendly. The nurses might take baby for an hour overnight if they aren't busy but you basically have to beg them
Post by sstwinklinglites on Feb 16, 2017 17:05:20 GMT -5
My hospital does not have a baby friendly designation. They have a very small nursery you can send baby to if you need a break (nursery was packed when DS was born), but I don't recall if they offer to take baby or if you have to ask. I had other complications after birth so they took DS. They have LC's on staff that visit all moms on the recovery wing (I asked for her, but again, not sure they would have just sent her anyway), they have hospital grade pumps at all the bedsides, and they send you home with a Medela Manual Pump and spare parts, as well as a diaper bag with pacis and formula samples. Because I had other complications, DS was also being given formula bottles when I couldn't nurse, so I got a ton of free formula. I really appreciate that they're very supportive of BF & FF. I had so much guilt about BF because of all the issues we initially had, that being further guilted by hospital staff would have broken me.
So sorry you had such a bad experience with the hospital when DS was born Susan0utLoud
I'm finding this all so interesting about your hospital experiences. I've never heard of baby friendly.
I think the NHS should be renamed "friendly to fucking nobody"
Breastfeeding is pushed 100% here to the extent it's suffocating. I've bf all mines through thick and thin but it still disgusts me how medical professionals behave in order to promote breastfeeding. Susan0utLoud described it perfectly as bullying.
I've supplemented my last two due to jaundice and actually lied to my midwife about it because felt so guilty.
But they have a cheek being so "pro breast" because they don't follow it up with support.
When I was in with DD2 (apart from my midwife friend who literally milked me) not one midwife took the time to even check I was feeding ok. This is despite DD2 being ill and not feeding and losing weight. Same happened with DS and he ended up very ill.
I asked this time round for a breastfeeding counsellor to visit (I used one with DD1 and she was lifesaving). This time I was told - the NHS stopped funding the counsellor for your area as our village is considered affluent. So apparently, breastfeeding is a postcode lottery now in the U.K.??
No way would a midwife at my hospital take your baby to let you sleep - it's a case of tough shit you've got a baby now!
It's impossible for anyone to sleep in hospital because the midwives make so much noise laughing and gossiping through the night. They don't give a crap.
I remember when I had DD1 - it was night time and I was crying. (Just shock and being overwhelmed I think) The midwife stomped over and said "stop crying, you're a mum now, so you better grow up!" I was 27 years old 😳.
Oh yeah and don't get me started on the fact I waited 12 hours for a glass of water when I was admitted to the ward, had to hunt around the store cupboard for my own compression stockings because I'd waited on them for 10 hours and actually come to think of it, I'm still waiting on my pain killers I was meant to be prescribed when I was discharged from hospital 2 weeks ago...they forgot!
My hospital does not have a baby friendly designation. They have a very small nursery you can send baby to if you need a break (nursery was packed when DS was born), but I don't recall if they offer to take baby or if you have to ask. I had other complications after birth so they took DS. They have LC's on staff that visit all moms on the recovery wing (I asked for her, but again, not sure they would have just sent her anyway), they have hospital grade pumps at all the bedsides, and they send you home with a Medela Manual Pump and spare parts, as well as a diaper bag with pacis and formula samples. Because I had other complications, DS was also being given formula bottles when I couldn't nurse, so I got a ton of free formula. I really appreciate that they're very supportive of BF & FF. I had so much guilt about BF because of all the issues we initially had, that being further guilted by hospital staff would have broken me.
So sorry you had such a bad experience with the hospital when DS was born Susan0utLoud
Thank you 😊
I wish I could have had your experience. It really broke me down and it took a long time to get back to "normal." I still have the feels, obvi.
Susan0utLoud it makes me so sad to hear your experience. My hospital sucked with that but thankfully DS1 didn't start getting very jaundice until after we were home and my pediatrician is super supportive of doing what's best for your family.
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