Post by turtle15sw on Feb 16, 2015 22:04:54 GMT -5
Saw it today and thought it was a pretty good representation of the book. Apparently '14 was the year of 50 shade babies as my OBGYN commented on the increase in births following its popularity. Any other fans or haters?
Post by orriskitten on Feb 17, 2015 6:06:41 GMT -5
Hater here. I'll probably watch the movie but not pay for it, just to see what it's about. I read the first book and I think most of the second before I gave up.
I have issues with how the author treats BDSM and the danger that can pose.
I can't bring myself to read them, because from what I've read/heard about the author and story.
I thought I'd watch the movie at some point (downloading it), but I just read a few things that will probably make it so I never bother. Also, it makes so much sense to me now that I know that it came from Twilight fan fiction.
I took hubs on a double date and we went to see it. Haven't been to theater in FOREVER. I found it steamy and my husband must have thought so too... because we had an enjoyable time afterwards.
I took hubs on a double date and we went to see it. Haven't been to theater in FOREVER. I found it steamy and my husband must have thought so too... because we had an enjoyable time afterwards.
I just poked my head in to see what you ladies had to say about it.
I have absolutely no desire to read the books or watch the movie. I know I can't fully judge unless I do read/watch, but from what I have heard, it's not an accurate representation of how a BDSM relationship should work and the relationship they have in general sounds very unhealthy and abusive (completely removing the sex part of it). I am not a prude, but I think the book/movie are making something seem sexy and exciting, but in reality is setting a bad example for a healthy relationship, with or without the BDSM. I really hope women don't think how Grey treats women is okay.
Read the books and saw the movie. Loved her, didn't like his acting. I get frustrated at haters that say this movie and book are promoting abuse and battery. Its frustrating because I do not think they actually read the book. I will admit if you see the movie alone, you would probably think this too. In order to really understand their relationship, and what they are thinking, you have to read the books and understand all of this is done by two consenting adults. Not a man just beating a helpless woman for his own pleasure.
I have read the entire series, I really liked the books, I eventually just started skimming over the sex parts because they did get kind of mundane.
Coming from an abusive relationship in my past, these books are not about abuse. Just a person different look on sex. To each their own. if you get your jollies from getting spanked, more power to you. I can see the appeal, but don't think I could get into it..
Again, my comment about it being an unhealthy relationship has nothing to do with the sex in the book. He is threatening and controlling outside of the bedroom and their "play." She seems to be naive and too excited to have someone interested in her to see that.
I don't think BDSM itself is abuse, so that isn't the issue.
I guess it depends what you consider to be abusive or an unhealthy relationship.
The link I posted had a good breakdown of what is unhealthy/abusive about their relationship.
Twilight didn't depict a healthy relationship and people loved that series, too. But, it didn't have any physical pain inflicted on someone - so, people didn't focus on it.
If people like the books and/or movie then so be it,. But, if it's anything like Twilight then you should at least be able to admit that they're poorly written.
I read the books and while I thought the writing was poor (lady needed a good editor, badly) I got sucked into the story. By the third book I was skipping over the sex parts, cause it got kind of mehhhhhh, to find out what happens. As far as the criticism that the relationship in the book isn't a healthy one - lots of relationships aren't healthy, bdsm or not. Doesn't mean it's not interesting.
I read the books and saw the movie. Mostly skipped over the sex scenes in the books because they became redundant. I think they did a decent job adapting book for the movie.
Did anyone read the comment in one of the last chapters about him trying breast milk after her pregnancy. I read that, and was like - no thank you! I'm done reading.
Post by g33kyg1rly on Feb 17, 2015 15:22:29 GMT -5
karebear, I pretty much agree with you. I think a lot of the vitriol comes from people who have heard things via hearsay or only skimmed through the first book but didn't read them all through.
As someone who has been lightly involved in the "scene," and has friends who are HEAVILY involved in the scene, I personally wasn't offended by the series. As far as I recall, all of the sexual escapades are consensual. (Granted I haven't read the books since the big popularlity boom when they were on display in the bookstore :-P)
As for the non-sex issues folks have, I agree that in the beginning of the series, Grey is controlling and at times stalkerish. However, to me, the books didn't seem to glorify that, or even say it was okay. I read it as the journey of two different people entering each other's worlds and eventually becoming better people for it.
Grey needs to move beyond the issues in his past to become a better person, and his love for Anna helps him do that. Anna has a sexual awakening and is introduced to the world of BDSM. By the end of series, they are married and have children.
Would that happen in reality? Maybe not. Should Anna have left Grey in the beginning and never gone back? Possibly. Although, you could say the same thing watching Disney's Beauty & the Beast :-P
The story is a FANTASY, and fantasies don't need to reflect reality. For some people, the idea of losing control can be a turn-on, even if they wouldn't want that to happen in reality. It is the same mentality as folks saying that violent video games make you violent. My DH used to be a big fan of first-person-shooter games (before I got him into MMOs ), but that didn't turn him into a murderer. He doesn't even own a gun.
My 2c (*cough*rant :-P *cough*)
ETA: Haven't seen the movie yet, so my verdict is still out on that. Above is based on books only.
I read the books and while I thought the writing was poor (lady needed a good editor, badly) I got sucked into the story. By the third book I was skipping over the sex parts, cause it got kind of mehhhhhh, to find out what happens. As far as the criticism that the relationship in the book isn't a healthy one - lots of relationships aren't healthy, bdsm or not. Doesn't mean it's not interesting.
Post by orriskitten on Feb 17, 2015 17:46:20 GMT -5
Having read the first book, there are a few BDSM encounters where Anna just doesn't seem to be consenting. There is too much fear and it's not tempered with anything exciting to make it feel authentic and consensual on both sides.
I also felt like the author made it so it wasn't a "normal" person who is into BDSM, perpetuating that being into S&M is a mental disorder (it formerly was-kink and fetish used to be listed in the DSM). Couldn't he just be a rich hot guy who wasn't horribly abused and fucked up due to his horrific past? And damn does he feel cold and unconnected to that horrible past through what I read. He seems like a damaged person who feels he has to practice BDSM. That can be dangerous.
As this can potentially be the only exposure to the scene for vanilla people, it worries me and makes it seem more daunting to be involved in the scene. Since anyone who participates must be broken in some way and in need of saving. Yea, it is fiction, but it certainly hi lights some serious non-fiction aspects of non-vanilla relationships in a pretty nasty way.
Post by angelsnight on Feb 17, 2015 21:07:36 GMT -5
I liked the books a lot, I've read them several times. Whenever I need some "simple entertaining" reading. No, she is not a great author, but I don't feel everything needs to be a literary giant.
I haven't seen the movie yet (going friday) but I am impressed by the trailer, I was really certain the movie would be horrible.
As far as the haters go, it's a book/movie, it's pretend,it's fantasy. Does the idea of a hot guy sort of stalking you and wanting to spoil me rotten and have rough sex turn me on? Yeah...would it in real life? Hell no (the rough sex would be fine, not so much the bdsm). I read to escape to another reality. As far as it depicting bdsm in an unsafe way again it's fiction, not bdsm for dummies.
There are LOTS of books and TV shows and movies that depict bad behavior, unhealthy relationships etc, but nobody is all up in arms over that. How many people luster after Jax Teller on SOA (me me me), but he treated Tara quite badly....or what about the movie Unfaithful, or A perfect murder, Gone girl, the list goes on and on. If it's not your cup of tea then fine, but I can't stand hearing things like "it's an insult to my marriage to watch this movie", or "my relationship with mh is enough to not make me want to see this movie".
The bigger issue should be with Disney movies making little girls believe their prince charming is right around the corner and they'll live happily ever after. Not really, just playing devils advocate but talk about being unrealistic.
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