Just a vent
Feb 21, 2017 12:37:02 GMT -5
Post by somebabiesmom on Feb 21, 2017 12:37:02 GMT -5
So it's DD's bday this weekend and we're navigating the usual SIL drama around my niece's anaphylactic allergies. For 4 years, we bent over backwards which only resulted in chaos and celebrating every holiday the same way at SIL's house. I've since decided to step up to the plate to minimize the drama and still got drama. I'm here to complain.
A few weeks ago, we sent out a text about DD's bday party. In the past, we would wait to plan the menu until we knew they were coming, but they were so back-and-forth and wishy-washy about how to handle the food, that this year I just planned it and let SIL know there would be non-niece-friendly food. BUT I would make my niece a special plate and cake for her to eat. I didn't hear from SIL until I pushed on Friday for a response. I got an answer, but no commitment. I end up asking MH to get an answer, b/c making sure my niece is fed is going to take a lot of research and time and pre-approval from my SIL - so I needed to get on it. The response was that they weren't going to come b/c she's "not comfortable with contaminated food/toys and food being around that could kill her." Then she proceeds to tell me what they "usually do" which sounds super simple and easy.
But wait. Two things: 1) there is no "usually." If there was, we'd know what to do. 2) The simple solution is that if we just didn't keep the food out, they could come; but we've been through this before. We say okay to whatever "simple request" SIL makes and then she says it's not enough or that she's not going to come for some other reason. So we jump through hoop after hoop trying to meet elusive standards until MH and SIL get in a fight. Then we stay in limbo until we finally hear whether or not they're coming (unless they don't tell us at all, but just show up). I just feel like this all boils down more to my SIL's control issues than keeping my niece safe and it is frustrating and disappointing as hell.
Ultimately we're just going to get together at SIL's house at a different time, which is not as fun, but fine. So truly just venting here.
A few weeks ago, we sent out a text about DD's bday party. In the past, we would wait to plan the menu until we knew they were coming, but they were so back-and-forth and wishy-washy about how to handle the food, that this year I just planned it and let SIL know there would be non-niece-friendly food. BUT I would make my niece a special plate and cake for her to eat. I didn't hear from SIL until I pushed on Friday for a response. I got an answer, but no commitment. I end up asking MH to get an answer, b/c making sure my niece is fed is going to take a lot of research and time and pre-approval from my SIL - so I needed to get on it. The response was that they weren't going to come b/c she's "not comfortable with contaminated food/toys and food being around that could kill her." Then she proceeds to tell me what they "usually do" which sounds super simple and easy.
But wait. Two things: 1) there is no "usually." If there was, we'd know what to do. 2) The simple solution is that if we just didn't keep the food out, they could come; but we've been through this before. We say okay to whatever "simple request" SIL makes and then she says it's not enough or that she's not going to come for some other reason. So we jump through hoop after hoop trying to meet elusive standards until MH and SIL get in a fight. Then we stay in limbo until we finally hear whether or not they're coming (unless they don't tell us at all, but just show up). I just feel like this all boils down more to my SIL's control issues than keeping my niece safe and it is frustrating and disappointing as hell.
Ultimately we're just going to get together at SIL's house at a different time, which is not as fun, but fine. So truly just venting here.