Post by SheilaTheTank on Feb 23, 2017 10:48:56 GMT -5
onesweetworld , since I've been an active member on both GKU and Parenting I can say that Parenting has way more chill then GKU did. There is little snark and much support. MH regularly makes an asshat out of himself on here and people KOKO.
Even if @nellybluth wasn't joking with her post, it's the same thing as people getting annoyed back in the day on GKU when people would make multiple threads asking if they were pregnant or if they should pee on another stick.
Contributing like experiences isn't really excusing stuff away. It's letting the other mom know that she's not a shitty parent, because sometimes we need to hear that. Everyone here assumes there will be correction for hitting. I wouldn't think I need to say that, I give people here enough credit.
This is not even close to what I am speaking to or what happened last night. No one was in the you're in the shitty parent club. Not one.
There was definite criticism about the other parent for just taking her kid and leaving and then comments made about kids that don't hit.
This is what I am speaking to. However, I really don't know what to say further since I am being so "extra."
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
Post by saltypearl on Feb 23, 2017 10:50:20 GMT -5
BF says to sales people all the time "I have to check with the boss" or "happy wife happy life". I gave him the feel free to use me as the bitch excuse with sales people. If someone answered my question to him instead of to me, I think he would throw down.
I think anyone should be proud of having kids who act right. If your kids are polite and friendly and almost never misbehave that is incredibly awesome and I'm happy for you.
I just don't think anyone needs to feel some deep level of shame if their kids sometimes act obnoxious or do something like hit. Most kids do these things. As long as you acknowledge that the behavior isn't OK and continue to work towards better behavior in the future then you are doing good in my book.
Insert cheesy "parenting is a marathon not a sprint where the goal is independent responsible adults and that doesn't happen overnight" type quote here.
I said I wanted to die and I can't stop replaying what happened. I, in no way, felt unashamed that my child hit another child.
I wasn't speaking to you, about you, and had no issue with anything you posted.
What struck me wrong was the "that mom is insane." Why? Cause she left?
Well you posted you wouldn't want an insincere apology from the kid, so I assumed you were talking about me. And maybe you wouldn't, but I'm teaching my child that using his hands is wrong and when we're wrong, we apologize.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
So NariaDreaming - this is what you call an inviting culture to jump into for us first time mom's that need/want advice and support? 18 other people have liked this post already so obviously 18 other people agree with her and don't want us to come here to ask our parenting questions.
Just wondering where we belong after we have our babies if we don't have an active BMB to go to?
tattling to the teacher always goes over well.
FIRST OF ALL, Nelly was being tongue in cheek. Second of all, when in the world does it go over well to breeze into a room full of people and whine about the culture of the room? Third of all, welcome. We like people as long as they're not assholes and we have a wealth of knowledge and wine and snark to share.
So, join us and don't be a dick.
I have joined in many times but still don't feel like I know anyone. This wasn't directed at Nelly at all, I have never had an issue on this board. I'm also not tattling on anyone, I'm trying to point out that there are some of us that really feel like we have no place to go after we have our babies to Naria who told me that we need to suck it up and go to parenting.
I strongly disagree with this. There is absolutely no insinuation that you should be ASHAMED if your kid doesn't hit. That's ludicrious. What is true is that people often commiserate about kids doing shit kid things and then you or others will pick that moment to be like "my kid never does this and I never experience these things", so in the context of everything, it gives off the vibe that YOU are judging others, not that you are defending yourself.
Last night's drinking thread tells a different tale.
I often throw that out there because I feel there is a trend to normalize some real shitty ass fucking behavior around here. Now if that is what you have to tell yourself so you can sleep at night ok cool.
I can't be a party to the fake ness. So yeah, I judge the circle jerk that usually follows those posts like well, "3 year olds do that," "there was nothing better you could do..." "a child peeing on another kid is normal."
I don't do well with the la di da. I mean, I can work on my fakeness if that's desired.
So you think others are lying when they say that their kids do the same things.
I mean I get it. My kid was a pretty easy going kid for a while, but I am sorry hiting and biting are normal behaviors unfortunately. Now you have to deal with those behaviors to make sure they don't happen again, but yes they are normal.
I wasn't speaking to you, about you, and had no issue with anything you posted.
What struck me wrong was the "that mom is insane." Why? Cause she left?
Well I said this so I'll stand by it, as I'm wont to do. A mother storming out of a place because her kid got hit, and not allowing the other parent to have a grown up chance to apologize for her kid, is extra dramatic. No one was pulling guns. No one was shanking anyone. A kid took another kid's toy and the other kid hit the first kid over it. It wasn't an ideal turn of events (is it tern?), but it's not some extreme situation where you need to storm out. I think that's a dramatic response and I'd roll my eyes at you (the mom storming out) for being over the top.
But another poster brought up that maybe she left cause HER kid did something? maybe she left cause she was embarrassed? She had his toy so maybe she snatched it from him and her mom was embarrassed? The lady didn't yell, scream, make a scene. She picked her kid up and left.
It felt judgey as fuck but clearly I am the only one that judges here.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
Post by Cherhorowitz on Feb 23, 2017 10:55:16 GMT -5
I said last night, I have zero tolerance for hitting. I don't care what the kid did, you apologize. I'm not saying it's cool. I just felt awful because I like to make things right and I wished I could apologize to the other mom.
Sometimes I miss the good ole days when someone will storm in and say you are all a bunch of horrible mothers who are addicted to meds and are alcoholics..... Maybe today is the day.
I wasn't speaking to you, about you, and had no issue with anything you posted.
What struck me wrong was the "that mom is insane." Why? Cause she left?
Well you posted you wouldn't want an insincere apology from the kid, so I assumed you were talking about me. And maybe you wouldn't, but I'm teaching my child that using his hands is wrong and when we're wrong, we apologize.
Well yes, I did post that. Because that incident brought it to mind for me. I mean I wouldn't stop an apology but if the child really understood all of that and understood how it makes the other person feel then would hitting come up?
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
FIRST OF ALL, Nelly was being tongue in cheek. Second of all, when in the world does it go over well to breeze into a room full of people and whine about the culture of the room? Third of all, welcome. We like people as long as they're not assholes and we have a wealth of knowledge and wine and snark to share.
So, join us and don't be a dick.
I have joined in many times but still don't feel like I know anyone. This wasn't directed at Nelly at all, I have never had an issue on this board. I'm also not tattling on anyone, I'm trying to point out that there are some of us that really feel like we have no place to go after we have our babies to Naria who told me that we need to suck it up and go to parenting.
I mean, I agree with you, but also...ugh. This board is many things and maybe it can be your next place. I hope it can be. Because it's been magical for me over these last years. But you can't expect Naria to mold it to be exactly what you want.
People get to know each other here, just like they do in real life. Show up early and often. Engage in conversation. No need to read the whole random thread, just jump in when you have something to say. You have tons of posts, so obviously you've found your rhythm on other boards. Parenting isn't the big bad wolf. We're just another board, one that has some active posters.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
Unless you're selling cookies you should not bother knocking on my door.
Actually, I'm not buying your cookies either because I have 300 boxes sitting in my living room to distribute already - but I will give you some encouraging words while pointing out that this block has been covered by my girl scout.
A super sneaky Jehovah's Witness came to our door with her granddaughter so of course I opened it, expecting cookies.
One came to the door with a pamphlet about disease - while I was in the middle of applying lice shampoo to my children. I told her it was too late and to run.
Well you posted you wouldn't want an insincere apology from the kid, so I assumed you were talking about me. And maybe you wouldn't, but I'm teaching my child that using his hands is wrong and when we're wrong, we apologize.
Well yes, I did post that. Because that incident brought it to mind for me. I mean I wouldn't stop an apology but if the child really understood all of that and understood how it makes the other person feel then would hitting come up?
Because he's a child and developmentally, sometimes his body responds before his words. And we're working on that.
FIRST OF ALL, Nelly was being tongue in cheek. Second of all, when in the world does it go over well to breeze into a room full of people and whine about the culture of the room? Third of all, welcome. We like people as long as they're not assholes and we have a wealth of knowledge and wine and snark to share.
So, join us and don't be a dick.
I have joined in many times but still don't feel like I know anyone. This wasn't directed at Nelly at all, I have never had an issue on this board. I'm also not tattling on anyone, I'm trying to point out that there are some of us that really feel like we have no place to go after we have our babies to Naria who told me that we need to suck it up and go to parenting.
So do you want a special Sneuflake board? Who is we? Why can't you go to parenting or post on your BMB?
I have joined in many times but still don't feel like I know anyone. This wasn't directed at Nelly at all, I have never had an issue on this board. I'm also not tattling on anyone, I'm trying to point out that there are some of us that really feel like we have no place to go after we have our babies to Naria who told me that we need to suck it up and go to parenting.
As someone who is still pretty new, I'd say the Thursday UO and the Friday FFC are probably the least helpful things to try to jump into. Focus on the actual parenting threads. And even the randoms.
FIRST OF ALL, Nelly was being tongue in cheek. Second of all, when in the world does it go over well to breeze into a room full of people and whine about the culture of the room? Third of all, welcome. We like people as long as they're not assholes and we have a wealth of knowledge and wine and snark to share.
So, join us and don't be a dick.
I have joined in many times but still don't feel like I know anyone. This wasn't directed at Nelly at all, I have never had an issue on this board. I'm also not tattling on anyone, I'm trying to point out that there are some of us that really feel like we have no place to go after we have our babies to Naria who told me that we need to suck it up and go to parenting.
I don't get what you're advocating for? A new board? Isn't there a Pregnancy board already?
Well yes, I did post that. Because that incident brought it to mind for me. I mean I wouldn't stop an apology but if the child really understood all of that and understood how it makes the other person feel then would hitting come up?
Because perhaps, with small children it takes repetition and reinforcement for them until they finally do get it? Surely you can't expect a 2/3 YO to understand every concept the first time it's introduced to them?
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