Post by notagoddess on Mar 5, 2017 17:49:20 GMT -5
loves2shop4shoes, I would honestly consider changing your pedi. That advice seems terrible for parents' wellbeing. Not going out at all is not good for your mental health. There are many reasonable precautions you could take instead, like avoiding sick people and crowds and not allowing people to touch her. And I am coming to see that no cosleeping is essentially equal to no sleeping... and how long can someone really keep that up? I've fallen asleep nursing a few times and I never thought that would be me, but exhaustion will eventually take over.
Post by loves2shop4shoes on Mar 5, 2017 18:13:30 GMT -5
Yeah. I think there's some level of "I'm the doctor, I have to tell you these precautions because it's my job to be overly cautious" going on.
And she has said it's fine for me to go out if I have someone to watch her, but to avoid sick people and crowds myself.
I agree with notagoddess that no cosleeping essentially equates to no sleeping. I think they harp on it so much where I live because there are so many addicts who cosleep and accidentally harm their babies out here. Obviously they know I'm not one, but I think it's like ingrained in all medical people here.
I could be making excuses for my pedi because I've heard such wonderful things about her from so many people. But she is a little overly cautious I think.
I do think I need to venture out more on small errands, but I am going to try to keep her in as much as possible at least until she gets her vaccines.
Post by musicallyinclined on Mar 5, 2017 18:31:27 GMT -5
We took DS1 everywhere with us, and we take DS2 out a lot too. We avoid touching and sick people. I figure whatever DS1 brings home from Mother's Day out is worse than walking around target or the grocery store or places like that. And this extrovert can't handle being stuck in the house that much.
We have co-slept in desperation. The key is to do it as safely as possible. No blankets, baby on their back, curve your arm around the baby so nothing will roll over/drape over them, have baby in the upper middle of the bed, etc. If your spouse is a heavy sleeper/flails/any kind of weird thing or risk, have them sleep elsewhere.
I would like to NOT co-sleep (I sleep like crap with a noisy baby beside me) but these first weeks are honestly just about survival. I feel like if it needs to be done then so be it. Sleep is important and the baby gets up soooo often--and it's harder with all the tearing and shit I am trying to heal from. We co-slept for like 2ish weeks with DS and then moved him to his basinette in our room. It worked out perfectly.
My pedi has never once told me where I could or couldn't take LO, and he has absolutely never told me where I could and couldn't go. That's up to me to judge as a mom and human.
Post by dancerspose on Mar 5, 2017 18:53:49 GMT -5
I made the mistake of turning on my work phone. Almost 1000 unread emails and I'm 200mb over the size limit in my inbox. I had plans to clean it up to make plenty of room before being out, but since Z arrived so early I was caught off guard and didn't have a chance to. I'm supposed to start working from home part time in another two weeks...
Also, when I was a FTM, and to some extent now as a STM, it was important to get out and practice taking LO out. It boost my mom confidence that I could get us both ready and out the door as well as handling LO in the grocery or a restaurant or in church or whatever. That confidence was good for my mental and emotional health.
Also, when I was a FTM, and to some extent now as a STM, it was important to get out and practice taking LO out. It boost my mom confidence that I could get us both ready and out the door as well as handling LO in the grocery or a restaurant or in church or whatever. That confidence was good for my mental and emotional health.
+1 to this. It made a world of difference in proving to myself that I wasn't stranded in my house when DH was gone by taking Z out somewhere that requires driving by myself. It helped me realize i could, in fact, rejoin the world.
Post by loves2shop4shoes on Mar 5, 2017 19:07:33 GMT -5
I guess most people would take this advice with a grain of salt?
This anxious, goody two shoes momma hasn't stepped one toe out of line. Hell, I only ever once got detention my whole life. And I cried the whole time.
She gave me her opinions on what I should/shouldn't do based on how safe it was probably thinking I wouldn't follow it to the letter.
And I'm just worried about what happens if I don't follow that advice and something bad happens.
My therapist says the way to madness is to begin sentences with "What if..."
loves2shop4shoes have you talked to your therapist or ob about your anxiety about taking LO out? My ob told me if I start feeling like I can't take LO out of the house, I should let her know that. I'm just wondering if your pedi's advice is exacerbating some PPA that may be lurking? Feel free to ignore me. But going out with and without lo may actually be healthier than staying home, know what I mean?
loves2shop4shoes have you talked to your therapist or ob about your anxiety about taking LO out? My ob told me if I start feeling like I can't take LO out of the house, I should let her know that. I'm just wondering if your pedi's advice is exacerbating some PPA that may be lurking? Feel free to ignore me. But going out with and without lo may actually be healthier than staying home, know what I mean?
For sure. I had anxiety before E, so it doesn't surprise me that I have it now. I've definitely felt an inclination to go out with E, but it was just the sternness with which my pedi said "I don't want her going out in public in flu season!" that gave me MAJOR pause.
Post by shawnabm1320 on Mar 5, 2017 20:47:25 GMT -5
loves2shop4shoes, I'm not trying to say "don't listen to your pediatrician," but there will definitely be times when your doctor will give you parenting advice or your gut instinct will tell you not to follow some piece of advice she gives, and I think you should feel able to analyze what she's telling you with your own knowledge of you and your baby and decide what's best for you. You know?
FWIW, it gave me so much anxiety to take DS out at first that we didn't go many places by ourselves until he was almost 2 months old. Just on walks. But with H we did go places. If you can use a carrier or car seat cover, it might make you feel like you're blocking her from some germs.
Do you have a car seat cover loves2shop4shoes? If you don't, I can recommend a couple!
Could you make a list of some places you'd feel "safe?" For example, I went to panera last week at 10:15am. There was no line, and there were two other people in the restaurant. You could get a cup of coffee and a bagel, take a magazine, sit in the corner, use a car seat cover, etc. It's not really riskier than going to the pedi office where there may be a sick kid in the waiting room, IMO.
I'm just worried your pedi is making you more anxious. That's not really okay.
Yeah. I think there's some level of "I'm the doctor, I have to tell you these precautions because it's my job to be overly cautious" going on.
And she has said it's fine for me to go out if I have someone to watch her, but to avoid sick people and crowds myself.
I agree with notagoddess that no cosleeping essentially equates to no sleeping. I think they harp on it so much where I live because there are so many addicts who cosleep and accidentally harm their babies out here. Obviously they know I'm not one, but I think it's like ingrained in all medical people here.
I could be making excuses for my pedi because I've heard such wonderful things about her from so many people. But she is a little overly cautious I think.
I do think I need to venture out more on small errands, but I am going to try to keep her in as much as possible at least until she gets her vaccines.
Like how I follow my OB's lifting restriction (25 lbs)? DS1 is almost 30 lbs, two babies in car seats are about 35 lbs, and I climb in and out of the back of our suburban to put the babies in. Oh well.
I have also taken the babies to Walmart, Sam's Club, Meijer, and the local shopping mall. I just kept people at a distance from the babies (except one young Asian girl whose parents were paying entirely too little attention to her 😒).
Also, when I was a FTM, and to some extent now as a STM, it was important to get out and practice taking LO out. It boost my mom confidence that I could get us both ready and out the door as well as handling LO in the grocery or a restaurant or in church or whatever. That confidence was good for my mental and emotional health.
+1. This is why I was so antsy to get out with the babies early on and also why I was even more frustrated with the early restrictions after a c-section. The only reason I haven't attempted to take out all 4 kids on my own is because I don't think I can safely load and unload the quad stroller from the car.
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