*~* informal PgAL/PAIF check in week of March 5 *~*

[muscari]

Hey ladies! Been a crazy weekend for me, so sorry I forgot to post this yesterday. Busybusy day at work today too so before I forget I wanted to post this weeks check-in! Will do a proper one next week again!

[Mom2Ms]

14w5d

Appointment today to check SCH & other "stuff." Will be scheduling amnio here soon.

No prayers other than for me to survive the amnio & have positive results.

Can't think of anything....

GTKY: Worst thing about pregnancy? (I'll do it since muscari was rushed) - I struggle with the weight gain. Like a lot. I've gained 3 pounds in one week. Bringing my total to 9. I struggle with this, like a lot.

[yoshijo28]

((Hugs)) Mom2Ms. I also have a very hard time accepting the weight gain. It messes with my head

[Mom2Ms]

Mar 6, 2017 11:37:17 GMT -5 yoshijo28 said:

((Hugs)) Mom2Ms. I also have a very hard time accepting the weight gain. It messes with my head

Seriously. It's so messed up. I shouldn't care, but man, when it comes to appointment days, I get really stressed out. It doesn't help that I've binge ate for like 5 days. I need to just chill.

[yellowcat]

Today is 18wks 6d

I had a regular appt. last week and have the anatomy scan on the 15th. Otherwise just hanging out and trying to figure out maternity leave. My college's policy is terrible and before I tell my department I need to have it approved by HR and the Dean.

Q: I hear you all on the weight, my appetite kicked in this last week. I don't remember being this hungry with DD. With her I gained 30 lbs and was able to drop it pretty quick. This time I am trying to do the same, make sure I continue to exercise, eat as healthy as I can, etc. I know labor and recovery was fairly easy because I was in good shape. I am not sure if the total weight gain had anything to do with it, but I never had mobility issues or other uncomfortable issues in the 3rd trimester.

[addymac]

Mar 6, 2017 15:22:45 GMT -5 Mom2Ms said:

Mar 6, 2017 11:37:17 GMT -5 yoshijo28 said:

((Hugs)) Mom2Ms. I also have a very hard time accepting the weight gain. It messes with my head

Seriously. It's so messed up. I shouldn't care, but man, when it comes to appointment days, I get really stressed out. It doesn't help that I've binge ate for like 5 days. I need to just chill.

I am the same these days. The day before my appt last week I got on the scale I bought at the beginning of this pregnancy and had a total freak out bc I gained about 5 pounds in the two weeks we were gone on vacation. Then, at the Drs office the nurse had to run out for an emergency page so I weighed myself then took all my top shirts off (so I was just in a tank top camisole) and reweighed myself to see how much of a difference my clothes made. It wasn't enough- like half a pound. So I put the clothes back on before the nurse came back. 😳

And I got my Molly Bear today and all I want to do is eat ice cream and cry but we have no ice cream so I was going to walk to the store... but now I'm like no- I'm already looking fat so no ice cream for me 😭

[addymac]

16+2

No appts til end of month.

I'm hungry all the damn time. And if I don't eat enough I will gag and throw up. And I still have a lingering cough that if I get a coughing attack I will end up throwing up 50% of the time. Over it!!

I got a snoogle!! Still deciding how I feel about it in bed but I LOVE it on our old ass couch. I woke up today spooning it and laughed bc that is not how I'm supposed to sleep on it! Guess I was missing snuggling DH. Reminded me of HIMYM and how Lily had a Marsh-pillow.

Q: I'm surprised at how much gaining weight is freaking me out. I think it's a combo of I have *never* weighed this much in my life and worry that I won't be able to lose the weight bc I jacked up my knee x3 over the years, most recently on our Cali trip and it's currently hurting a lot and it hurts to bend it so I know I need PT but I don't want to spend the money on it right now. And partly bc my mom was stick thin and tiny until she had kids and then she gained 50+ lbs with me and never lost the weight - even now she's a bit overweight. And I'm worried that will happen to me. And I think deep down I'm scared that if I stay fat my DH won't find me attractive

Also, worrying about the baby being alive. I get excited then I get scared and it just cycles over and over. My boobs stopped hurting me but they're still big so of course that sends my brain into a freak out. We told DH's family this weekend and now I'm terrified we will have to un-tell them after the anatomy scan. I still haven't told 98% of our Friends bc I get paralyzed by the idea and panic and can't do it.

[yoshijo28]

18+4

No apts until A/S 3/17.

My RLP went away which I'm happy about. I was very anxious yesterday and think that the way I sit or lay will hurt the baby. I used the dopppler which has been the most helpful thing ever. I can find it very quickly now. I also feel her moving! It's so cool

QOTW:

**possible weight triggers**

+1 with the weight gain. I have a history of anorexia and this has been very difficult. I'm working closely with a therapist and dietitian but man, it's rough. I'm petite so when my boobs got huge everyone noticed and I'm so self conscious. I feel like people are just waiting to see what I'm going to look like because they are used to seeing me a certain weight. Then when my doctor told me I was borderline gaining too much it freaked me out. So I haven't gained any weight in the last 3 weeks (but am still within my target weight gain). I told my team I wouldn't weigh myself but I do every chance I get (we don't have a scale at home).

[cali]

Hi everyone! I'm 15w5d today. Had an u/s at my 16 week appointment yesterday and baby girl looked good and was measuring a few days ahead! Her feet are down by my cervix so the u/s tech said if I start feeling movement it will probably be down there. That does not sound great, lol! But so far I don't think I feel anything or at least nothing that I can pinpoint as baby. It will be such a relief when I can start to feel movement.
Also, when the nurse took my BP it was elevated. The doctor took it again at the end of my appointment and it was back in normal range but she still wants to be extra cautious. So now I have to do a 24 hour urine collection and have weekly BP checks to make sure things aren't getting crazy. That makes me so nervous.

QOTW: For me it is definitely the overwhelming anxiety and the inability to feel excited about all of this. I hate it so much because this baby is so wanted and so loved and I wish I could enjoy this pregnancy but I also am so fearful of getting my heart broken.

[therealbug]

15w5d

Not much going on this week. After two weeks of no weight gain, I gained 2 pounds this week which made me relieved. I've read so much about how important early 2nd tri weight gain is in reducing our NICU time that I'm trying to maintain a 1.5 lb per week average.

GRKY - simply put, losing Z at 20 weeks makes the hardest thing about this pregnancy being convinced that no matter what we do this is going to end in a loss.

I'm paranoid that by planning to go to BBB we are tempting fate to cause PTL (because going to BBB to buy our stroller was what was on the agenda the weekend we had Z). I'm afraid to buy anything big. I'm afraid to buy anything small. I'm afraid to see how destroyed my H will be with another loss - especially when he has thoroughly embraced hope.

[addymac]

therealbug I'm so sorry. I sort of understand- while our loss was early second tri (14+4), since our genetic screen had come back normal, we were told basically that the cysts were just a fluke, and so we went to BBB and BRU to look and get an idea and now I can't even think about looking at ANYTHING until after our anatomy scan at 20w.

On another board I frequent a girl is also due in August and she has that first pregnancy naivety that makes me irrationally jealous and mad and it sucks. She's 16w too, and already set up her registry! I was just like wuuuuuut?! Nooooo... just sigh. And we told DHs family and now his aunts keep bombarding me with "eeeeeeeeeee so excited!!!" Texts and messages even though they know about our loss.

Sending you guys so many hugs.

[therealbug]

So many (((hugs))) back at you addymac.

[king26]

15+6 here
Had an appointment yesterday. Heard the heartbeat and some kicking loud and clear. Everything looks good and anatomy scan on April 3rd.

Saw my parents last night and they were on me about not gaining weight. I mean, I've gained 5.5 pounds so far and no you can't tell but I'm eating and the doctors say I'm fine. I figure weight gain will pick up soon and I'll be showing soon enough. I'm already sort of getting a square like shape though no one can tell but me apparently.

My cold is hanging on and it kind of sucks. I've had 4 days with crappy sleep and it's wearing on me. The doctor told me some stuff I can take but I'm afraid too.

Anyone dreading making a registry? I don't know what to put on it, we have NO STORES in this stupid town, and I don't want to do it. I'm scared too. We haven't looked for anything yet either. My mom told us she's been buying a ton of stuff from the baby and I'm like we haven't bought a single thing. Not even a onesie and I don't know when we will. I guess we'll think about it next month. My mom was also asking about a shower and I told her to ask me at Easter about it.

[therealbug]

king26, what about Amazon? You can make registry on there which helps give you one place with a list.

[muscari]

Just read all your updates and wanted to respond to you all personally but ugh not having a great day (week?) and just reading made me teary eyed. I recognize so much of what you all go through and it sucks and I hate it for us all. So many hugs all around Will come back at a later point for proper responding!

AFM, I'm 16+6 today - no appointments until our A/S on the 27th. Not doing too great both emotionally as physically atm. Nausea has eased up fully mostly thankfully but I seem to be even more exhausted then I was before.. Took a day from work today to try and pull myself together, no fun feeling like I will burst into tears at random. After a stall in weight gain for the past weeks I've started to gain a little again, which makes me feel relieved as the fact I wasn't gaining any was making me feel ohso anxious that something was wrong. Though at the same time my bump-to-be is also making me feel really self-conscious. I feel fat rather then pregnant I guess.. Doesn't help that this one collegue keeps commenting on how FAT I am even though he knows I'm pregnant and it's just a baby growing. I need to come up with a good bitchy response to shut him the F up. Trying to feel more excited but just mostly feel overwhelmed and anxious and still scared.Meh.

[cali]

muscari, ((hugs)) your co-worker sounds like a real ass! I've seen your HDBD picture and you look amazing and definitely not fat! I'm sorry you're struggling. You're not alone!

[therealbug]

muscari, your coworker is completely out of line. Giant TP to him.

(((Hugs))) and I hope your day off gives you needed rest.

[elliecat17]

16 wks an action figure.

Had my appointment today. Baby's heartbeat was good and strong, my uterus is growing nicely, and my midwife was happy. I have finally gained a little weight. 2 lbs so far the whole pregnancy.

I forget what the QOTW was, so I will post again later.

[addymac]

Swear to god, I think I would actually punch that guy in the face if he kept that up around me. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, muscari. Like what the actual fuck is wrong with people?!

[muscari]

Quicky update. So I went by the OB/MFM office this morning to double check an appointment and to get some paperwork. And somehow had a full blown panic attack while talking about our upcoming A/S scan on the 27th with 8 weeks of nothing in between that and our NT scan. I explained my irrational fears and that I felt so silly but just couldn't help feeling this way. So, they offered me a quick doppler check to which I of course said YES please. However, all dopplers were in use so instead I got a quick ultrasound All is well with the little one and (s)he's growing nicely and has a strong HB. I'm so relieved! Now can I go into our A/S appointment looking forward to seeing the baby again instead of full of fear and dread. A ton has been lifted from my shoulders. They also said I could come back whenever as they always had room for a collegue from another department *smiles* so if I ever go through another phase of extreme anxiety like this I just may pop by indeed.

Still at work so best get back to it - will come back to properly tag this weekend!

[cravingchocolate05]

I'm late this week. I was waiting till after my appointment yesterday. I want to respond to everyone, but I'm on mobile.

16w

Appt yesterday. I got so nervous, I almost cancelled. I'm pretty sure I can feel him moving, but I convinced myself it wasn't actually movement. Everything went well. Heart rate in the 120s, which I thought was low, but she said it was fine. I need to start listening to her. My anatomy scan is 03/27.

My ridiculous blood pressure thing continued. I was 150/75 at the beginning of the appt due to nerves, so she wanted to increase my labetalol, but I showed her my normal BP log from the week and went down to 118/78 at the end of the appt, so she left my dosage as is. I just feel ridiculous that I can't control it.

Worst thing about pregnancy: The anxiety. It needs to go away!

Funny story: We picked a name for the baby, classic boy name, think Matthew or something like that. One of our church friends (who doesn't know the name) is getting 2 kittens and she's naming one of them that same name. LOL! So, I am naming my baby after her cat.

[cravingchocolate05]

muscari I just saw your update. Yay!!! I'm so glad they did the ultrasound and you feel relieved. That is awesome.