Shower etiquette?

[greenball]

I know it's early, but I've had a few people ask when I'm having a shower so they can send something, etc. 
I haven't had anyone offer to throw me one (I'm 16 weeks this week, I know they usually aren't until the third tri at least)
Do I ask someone to throw me one? My BFF lives out of town and is CRAZY busy, so I feel bad asking her. My sister lives in another state, etc. 

What's the etiquette? I feel bad asking someone "hey, throw a party for me!" but I'd be sad to not have one (FTM)

[leviosa]

This is a hard situation. I think etiquette frowns upon asking someone to throw you a shower but I totally get not wanting to miss having one. If you are really close with your friend I would just ask.

[caybeh]

Someone may offer to throw you one if they know no one is so far? I know when one of my friends was having her first a few years ago, we were talking about a shower. She had mentioned that no one was doing one so far, so I asked if I could.

[saltandvinegar]

I would give it a few weeks still. You have some time. My sister and I just started discussing hers within the past week or so & she is 6 weeks ahead of me. It's kind of a tricky situation but I agree with Leviosa. If you are really close to the friend, I would just ask. I don't know how big your family is or your expectations but it really doesn't have to be anything crazy, just a small get together & keep it simple.

@wicky, - That would be an interesting invitation to receive! My MIL threw me a separate shower too because she didn't want to attend the regular one. It was so awkward. It was a few of her family friends that I had either never met or only met once or twice. They were all generous and so so nice but it was so weird.

[italianmommy]

If it were me, I would probably start tossing around with my family. I live in another state but wouldn't hesitate to plan a shower for my sister where she lived.

(I would also like to add that you have plenty of time and not to worry too much at this point)

[caybeh]

Mar 21, 2017 7:55:46 GMT -5 saltandvinegar said:

I would give it a few weeks still. You have some time. My sister and I just started discussing hers within the past week or so & she is 6 weeks ahead of me. It's kind of a tricky situation but I agree with Leviosa. If you are really close to the friend, I would just ask. I don't know how big your family is or your expectations but it really doesn't have to be anything crazy, just a small get together & keep it simple.

@wicky , - That would be an interesting invitation to receive! My MIL threw me a separate shower too because she didn't want to attend the regular one. It was so awkward. It was a few of her family friends that I had either never met or only met once or twice. They were all generous and so so nice but it was so weird.

My MIL threw me a separate one too with DS but more so because she was just so excited to get grandchildren. It was joint with my now SIL that was pregnant at the same time as me (with her second child). I literally only knew a handful of the people there because it was in DH's hometown. There was so many people and we got a lot of nice things. But so very awkward for me just due to the whole situation with SIL at the time. DH was wonderful and actually stuck around the shower for me for moral support since he knew I didn't know majority of the people there.

[wannabmama]

I agree with PP that you have plenty of time and a few well placed hints might not hurt

Also, last year a couple I'm friends with threw themselves a "baby-q" (I hate that name, btw) but basically just invited friends and family to a BBQ to celebrate the baby, all genders invited. I'm sure some people would think it gauche but no one seemed put off by it in our group of friends. I'm not sure they put registry info on the invite or not but people brought gifts. It was different, but really fun. (I'm not a huge fan of showers so I definitely thought it was more fun, at least!)

[wannabmama]

Mar 21, 2017 14:56:58 GMT -5 @gotgingy said:

Mar 21, 2017 14:43:38 GMT -5 wannabmama said:

I agree with PP that you have plenty of time and a few well placed hints might not hurt

Also, last year a couple I'm friends with threw themselves a "baby-q" (I hate that name, btw) but basically just invited friends and family to a BBQ to celebrate the baby, all genders invited. I'm sure some people would think it gauche but no one seemed put off by it in our group of friends. I'm not sure they put registry info on the invite or not but people brought gifts. It was different, but really fun. (I'm not a huge fan of showers so I definitely thought it was more fun, at least!)

This is what we're considering if ILs choose not to do anything.  We want to celebrate with everyone, whoever ends up throwing the party. 

Yeah I was not into a traditional shower, but one of my friends offered to throw a little party at a local brewery (you know, standard baby shower location) and it's both sexes, etc. and I'm SO excited about it! If she hadn't offered, we were going to do the same thing my other friends did in our backyard. I want to celebrate these babies gosh darn it!

[wells2010]

Maybe tell people that you don't have plans for a shower yet. They may step up for you!

[saltandvinegar]

wannabmama, - This is what we are doing for my sister as well. Super simple & low-key. When I was looking at invitations I came across a Baby-Q one. I was cracking up and wanted to order it so bad because I think it's hysterical. In the end I couldn't bring myself to do it though because I'm not sure people would realize that it was only to be funny.

A brewery baby shower sounds like a good time though too!

[mambo]

I'm going to a baby shower and diaper keg this weekend

[greenball]

Well, as a follow up, I had 2 friends that stepped in to ask if they could co-host a shower. My BFF will also chip in as she's a bit further. So, problem solved and I'm super stoked and feel loved.

[kellykapow]

Apr 3, 2017 12:44:20 GMT -5 greenball said:

Well, as a follow up, I had 2 friends that stepped in to ask if they could co-host a shower. My BFF will also chip in as she's a bit further. So, problem solved and I'm super stoked and feel loved.

Yay! That's great news!