C-sections and toddlers

[kellykapow]

I'm planning to have a repeat c-section for this birth, and I started thinking about what I'm going to do with DS (he will be 2 and half when LO is born). After a CS, you're not supposed to pick up anything over 10 lbs for 6-8 weeks, right? DS is still in a crib, and I didn't really have any plans to change that any time soon, but how will I get him in and out when my husband goes back to work after 2 weeks? How will I put him in his car seat? 

Anyone else in this position or been in this position in the past? Is it worth putting him in a toddler bed just for this reason? Am I overthinking this? 

[leviosa]

I have never had a csection but I would probably just plan to have help the first few weeks then start lifting him after that. You really can't be expected to not pick him up. I wouldn't be able to do it. My kids are hanging all over me all day long.

[salmon2017]

Mar 21, 2017 9:04:42 GMT -5 leviosa said:

I have never had a csection but I would probably just plan to have help the first few weeks then start lifting him after that. You really can't be expected to not pick him up. I wouldn't be able to do it. My kids are hanging all over me all day long.

I second this. Also never had a c-section, but I am currently on a "no lifting heavy things" restriction during pregnancy. I laughed in my OB's face. He said that primarily he doesn't want me straining. Generally (because we are used to lifting our kiddos all the time) our arms are pretty strong at this point. I don't strain picking up DS the way I would if I tried to move a couch, which would put pressure on my abdomen and pelvic floor. 

Another thought (no pressure at all, I am sure your choice is well informed) would be to consider VBAC? Just thought I would throw it out there in case no one has brought it up to you........ feel free to tell me to mind my own business.

[kellykapow]

salmon2017, mind your own business! JK. I had considered a VBAC, but honestly the way everything went down when my son was born (and I know I sound super dramatic, because I am) I'm somewhat traumatized. It actually gives me anxiety thinking about trying to labor naturally again. To top it off, DS was born with a serious medical condition that we had no idea he had, so it was just a rough couple of days, then 7 weeks in the NICU. I know things could go differently with this one, and hopefully she doesn't have any medical issues, but I still can't get myself to try for a VBAC. I hope I'm explaining this well, and maybe it sounds stupid to others, but I feel totally at peace with having another c-section.

[italianmommy]

kellykapow, That doesn't sound stupid at all. It sounds like things surrounding your child's birth were incredibly chaotic and stressful. With so many unexpected things occurring (all of which were beyond your control). As you approach this labor/delivery, planning a c-section is actually in your control. Makes sense that you want some sort of predictability and planning this time around.

[kellykapow]

italianmommy, yes, thank you! I do think a lot of it is having control over something. I've gotten a little bit of flack for choosing this, but most people close to me have been supportive or at least keep their opinions to themselves.

[sarenu]

Have you considered trying a bed on the floor to see if he would transition?

We moved both kids to a twin mattress on the floor before 2. They loved the big kid bed.

It was trying the first week.

[salmon2017]

Mar 21, 2017 12:08:40 GMT -5 kellykapow said:

italianmommy , yes, thank you! I do think a lot of it is having control over something. I've gotten a little bit of flack for choosing this, but most people close to me have been supportive or at least keep their opinions to themselves.

You should tell anyone who gives you flack to go jump. It definitely sounds like your first birth and the surrounding days were traumatic, and I am really sorry that happened to you. You are making the best choice for you and your family, which is the most important thing.

[savigirl]

Girl you do you with what type of delivery gives you peace!

I didn't have a c-section, but I second sarenu's advice to consider switching your toddler to a bed.

I'm a physical therapist and looking at the body mechanics I'm guessing lifting a toddler up and out of a crib isn't gonna feel good given your incision, but again you may have done it with your first and I may have no idea what I'm talking about.

[wells2010]

I had a RCS with my 20 month old when DD1 was 2.5. You won't be able to drive for about two weeks after surgery (or at least until you're off meds). We transitioned her to a bed a couple months before her sister was born. After birth, H was around for any lifting for a while. After two weeks, you will likely have a follow up with your OB and they may clear you at that point to do some more activities, depending on how you are healing. I just explained to DD1 that I couldn't pick her up but offered to have her climb up next to me whenever I was on the couch or something. It's hard, but do-able! I also second getting some help once H goes back to work. Even if it's just an hour or so, it will help. Having two those ages was really tough for me!

[kellykapow]

savigirl, I thought about the incision being a problem with the crib too. DS was in the NICU, then in a bassinet for the first couple of months, so I didn't have to worry about a crib then.

wells2010, thank you for sharing your experience. I think it makes the most sense to transition to a bed, but he sleeps so well right now I'm worried about messing with it. I guess it will have to happen eventually anyway.

[wells2010]

Mar 21, 2017 17:07:05 GMT -5 kellykapow said:

savigirl, I thought about the incision being a problem with the crib too. DS was in the NICU, then in a bassinet for the first couple of months, so I didn't have to worry about a crib then.

wells2010, thank you for sharing your experience. I think it makes the most sense to transition to a bed, but he sleeps so well right now I'm worried about messing with it. I guess it will have to happen eventually anyway.

I'll tell you what we did. We had DD in a different room. We got her room all set up with the new furniture (Minnie mouse themed with pink walls). The furniture we got she picked out (very princess-looking stuff). She was excited for it. She was about 26 months at that point and had no issues. After the baby was born, that's when the issues started though!

[leviosa]

I'm team crib for life, or until they crawl out. My DD transitioned beautifully. She never gets out of bed and she stopped screaming at bedtime. It was like a switch flipped. DS2 was 2 months when we switched her too. She climbed out of the crib one night when I was up with both kids. It was the worst night of my life I ended up having to sleep on the floor of her room with DS2 so she would go to sleep. Once we switched her she quit screaming and fighting everything related to bed and nap. Hopefully if you decide to transition it will go smoothly as well.

[leviosa]

I would have never switched her if she hadn't climbed out though.

[bookitboo]

I had a RCS When my son was 3. I had a ton of help (my mom came to stay with me) but my son had transitioned into mattress on the floor before then (he's a Wild one and had already crawled out of his crib.) I would try and transition her before third tri so you can both get used to the new routine and trouble shoot any problems. As for the car seat, I trained him to hold my hand to the car and crawl up into the car and his car seat. He was really keen to be helpful and independent at that age.

Most of the no-lifting I ignored. I took it easy, I wasn't hauling feed sacks or anything crazy but when you're a mom and your baby wants to Be held you look more like a tree you know? You'll be fine and anyone who has an opinion about how you decide you want to give birth should shove it.