My brother said, "why? What are you thinking?" He thinks we have too many kids as it is. He has no clue why anyone would plan to have a fourth.
Lots of people have made comments like, "oh, another girl, that's perfect 2 boys and 2 girls." Like they are assuming I don't want the fifth child I have always dreamed of having. I know it isn't the norm to have so many kids but I want a big family and I see myself with one more after this baby to complete my family.
Yes lots have asked me if I was excited/it was planned.
My dads gf told me after I told them I was pregnant with DD1: "oh, I had two dead babies."
I feel bad for whatever happened with her pregnancies to result in loss, but what a horrible thing to say to someone who is pregnant for the first time.
I've also had a lot of comments like, are you sure there's just one in there? Also, you are definitely having a girl (did you know they take away your beauty??).
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
With my last pregnancy I found a lot of women visibly deflated when I told them I was having a boy. I found their subtle disappointment was not pleasant for me. I realize in retrospect that I used to gush whenever someone said they were having a girl, so I can't hold it against them. I just realize now that projecting your own preferences is ill-advised.
Post by kellykapow on Mar 26, 2017 19:44:08 GMT -5
So many people have asked if we were trying. It doesn't really bother me that much.
A lot of people comment that now we can be done, since we'll have a boy and a a girl. We may be done, but it doesn't have to do with the sex of this baby.
My friend mentioned that girls steal your beauty. Oh, okay.
Since I'm not working, I don't get the random comments from coworkers I barely know, so that's been nice this time around.
People asked me all.the.time if DD was planned. I guess it was kind of obvious that she wasn't since we weren't married yet, but what the HELL is wrong with people? How is that any of your business? I also got a lot of comments on my size, "are you sure there's only one in there?", etc.
Nothing so far this time, but I'm sure it's coming. People lose every single filter when confronted with a pregnant woman. It's maddening.
I get the "are you excited" question all the time.
Which is actually funny, b/c while we are excited, we also have our eyes wide open (as opposed to with the first child). Those first few weeks are SO hard, so yes excited, but also not ready for sleep deprivation again...
Post by luciddreamer on Mar 27, 2017 9:34:41 GMT -5
We just started telling people besides close friends and family, so no weird comments yet. With DS, I got a lot of comments from coworkers about how small I was, wanting to know if the baby was ok and that I needed to eat more. I did eat a lot and gained the recommended weight. It made me so self conscious and concerned that maybe I really should be bigger. People just need to stop commenting about a pregnant woman's size
I get the "are you excited" question all the time.
Which is actually funny, b/c while we are excited, we also have our eyes wide open (as opposed to with the first child). Those first few weeks are SO hard, so yes excited, but also not ready for sleep deprivation again...
I feel the same way. I say "yes, excited, but also scared" haha.
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
Post by salmon2017 on Mar 27, 2017 10:02:56 GMT -5
luciddreamer I agree. Last time I was on the small side till about 28 weeks, then I finally looked pregnant enough for people to stop making comments. This time when people say I am "so tiny" I tell them "oh, just wait, this is not my first rodeo. I promise, I will get big". But really, they should just keep their comments to themselves.
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
I get the "are you excited" question all the time.
Which is actually funny, b/c while we are excited, we also have our eyes wide open (as opposed to with the first child). Those first few weeks are SO hard, so yes excited, but also not ready for sleep deprivation again...
I feel the same way. I say "yes, excited, but also scared" haha.
I can relate. I found that when I had DD, I was a lot more relaxed with the newborn phase and everything that came with it. I think it's because I had done it before and knew things do change and babies change often. They do eventually sleep, etc. The hardest part was balancing more than one kids' needs. But eventually, a person finds their groove and things fall into place. It's one of those things that a person may have to "let go" on some expectations and just do what you can.
I feel the same way. I say "yes, excited, but also scared" haha.
I can relate. I found that when I had DD, I was a lot more relaxed with the newborn phase and everything that came with it. I think it's because I had done it before and knew things do change and babies change often. They do eventually sleep, etc. The hardest part was balancing more than one kids' needs. But eventually, a person finds their groove and things fall into place. It's one of those things that a person may have to "let go" on some expectations and just do what you can.
I wish I could like this more than once. Thanks! I may need to print this out and hang it on my refrigerator so I can read it when I'm feeling overwhelmed. 😊
Last pregnancy a coworker said, "You'll never get your body back." Actually, I did. Don't put your insecurities on me, plus the last thing a hugely pregnant person needs is being told they won't loose the weight. Even if they might not, don't say that.
Last pregnancy a coworker said, "You'll never get your body back." Actually, I did. Don't put your insecurities on me, plus the last thing a hugely pregnant person needs is being told they won't loose the weight. Even if they might not, don't say that.
LOL to this. Yep, I went back to the same size as before. Actually I was stronger too. But even if I hadn't, I MADE A HUMAN. So the body I "got back" was even better
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
Post by LittleStarSweeper on Mar 27, 2017 12:18:49 GMT -5
I haven't had anyone say anything too crazy this time, surprisingly enough. I have gotten the "Are you excited?" question though. Um, yes, of course we are excited. 🙄 Once I start showing more, I'm sure I'll get some crazy questions from strangers. Last time, one of the worst was "Are you SURE you're pregnant?" because I didn't show until quite late. Again.... duh. Yes, I am sure! *facepalm*
And then, when my answer isn't enough information.
"No really, how are you?"
Annoyed, thanks.
Not many people know about this pregnancy and I'm still weirdly not showing much (which, hello anxiety!) so I haven't gotten much. But with LO, I got a lot of size commentary. So much size commentary. I had lots of snarky responses that I plan to recycle.
@saiven I never know how to answer the how are you feeling. I didn't feel great, but I know women have felt worse than me. So I always struggle with that question. But I'm totally guilty of asking people that question when they are pregnant!
Post by magaroni86 on Mar 27, 2017 16:57:27 GMT -5
+1 to "was it planned?"
I also had a patient poke me in the stomach (pillsbury dough boy style) and ask me what was in there. This was after she asked a nurse if I was pregnant and the nurse said she didn't think so because we had just started telling and she didn't know yet. I have a little blump but wtf?!?
[ High Risk for Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy - Fight the Itch Save a Life Kayden October 21, 2012 and Mira August 16, 2014 Angels Lucas, Serena, and Ana
I also had a patient poke me in the stomach (pillsbury dough boy style) and ask me what was in there. This was after she asked a nurse if I was pregnant and the nurse said she didn't think so because we had just started telling and she didn't know yet. I have a little blump but wtf?!?
Oh God, my patients were the worst last time, lol. One of them poked me in the belly and asked if I had "trips" in there...like, triplets. :/
Another for was it planned. Apparently if you have one boy and one girl nothing would ever possess you to have another child
When I was getting my labs done, the lady asked what I had for kids. I told her one of each. She then told me that this baby was a blessing then. I know she meant well and was being nice....but I think my other kids are blessings too!
During my last pregnancy a boy from down the street was over and playing with DS1. He told me his mom was having a baby and it was going to be his baby. I giggled and said, "no sweetie, I'm pretty sure it is your mommy and daddy's baby." Apparently I made him mad and he said, you look really big, you must be having twins." It made DS1 so mad he kicked the boy out himself.
Post by jessasaurus on Mar 27, 2017 22:06:25 GMT -5
I have had a lot of "oh, I just know/hope it's going to be a boy!" We have a DD now, so obvs we need a boy to make our family complete. I like to tell people were excited no matter what the gender and this will likely complete our family as well regardless. Ugh.
I have had a lot of "oh, I just know/hope it's going to be a boy!" We have a DD now, so obvs we need a boy to make our family complete. I like to tell people were excited no matter what the gender and this will likely complete our family as well regardless. Ugh.
I've gotten this, too: "Are you hoping for a boy?" Because a DD and a DS make the "complete" or "perfect" family.
I always say I'd be thrilled for DD to have a sister or a brother. It's a "complete" family either way.
I'm keeping our name a secret. I don't like all the opinionated responses. You can't tell me how awful a name is when it is already attached to a beautiful squishy baby.
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