Help! Working Moms - What is your schedule?

[salmon2017]

Okay, so I had a minor (major) meltdown this weekend because I feel like our life is already out of control, the house is a mess, the to-do list is long, and we have only one child and holyfuckhowwillwehandletwo?!?!?!

Yeah. 

So I am looking for rays of sanity from other families with two working parents. How do you make sure you get things done and still have fun? Does your house stay clean or is it a hellhole most of the time like mine? Do you sleep and exercise and spend time with your partner? And have sex?

Here's what my usual M-F schedule looks like. Please share yours so I can learn from you!

5:30 wake up, shower, eat breakfast in peace while reading emails/news
6:00 wake up DS if not already awake. Feed him, dress him, dress self and do makeup.
6:30 out the door
7:00 drop off DS at daycare
7:15 get to work
7:30-3:30 work (sometimes I can pay bills or do other home-stuff, but it's usually pretty non-stop work). Try to go for two 10-minute walks during the day.
3:45 leave work
4:00 pick up DS from daycare
4:45 get home, sometimes go to the park, sometimes just hang out at home
5:15 dinner time for DS, try to do dishes and laundry while he eats. 
6:00 bath time for DS. I usually do bath and MH cleans up a bit
6:15-7:00 family time, hanging out in DS room, reading stories and doing puzzles.
7:00 DS bedtime. 30 mins yoga or other exercise.
7:30 shower, make dinner
8:00 eat dinner, watch TV with MH, pay bills, fold laundry, Amazon orders, other bits and pieces
9:00 start prepping lunches, clothes, etc for next day. Finish kitchen cleanup
9:45 get in bed, read, catch up on news and emails
10:15 sleep

[saltandvinegar]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has those "holyfuckhowwillwehandletwo?!?!?!" moments. My schedule is pretty similar except that I get up (*try) at 4:00 to workout and get ready for the day & I'm usually in bed by 9:30.

The main difference is that we eat dinner together (he just eats whatever we do) and then DS usually takes a long bath (he plays happily by himself - we are constantly checking on him & he babbles non-stop so I know he's ok.) while we pick up the house & clean up from dinner. I usually sneak in a load of laundry during this time & then fold it later while we are watching tv.

I try to have all of the "housework" and prepping done by 8:30 to give myself that last hour for me/us time. Sex is hard to fit in. Often we are too exhausted in the evenings to feel sexy. Sometimes we deliberately turn the tv off and just give each other on-on-one attention. Other times we just have a quickie in the morning before work.

4:00 wake up/workout/shower/pack lunches
6:15/6:30 DS gets up
7:00 out the door
5:30 home & play time until dinner (DH gets home at 4:30 a few days a week for playtime earlier)
6:15 dinner (I meal plan & try to do 1 crockpot dish, 1 make-ahead dish that I can just pop in the oven, 2 simple/quick meals, and 1 pizza night)
6:45 bath
7:15 jammies/ read2 books/brush teeth
7:30 DS bedtime
7:30-9:30 last two hours are flexible depending on how tired I am. Could be more cleaning or just a shower & relaxing.
9:30 bedtime

I have no idea what a schedule with 2 will look like. I'm also lucky that I usually* have enough time during my workday to take care of bills & any paperwork that I need to.

[sarenu]

We trade off for pick-up and drop off. So neither one of us has to do both. But we also work around each other's schedules.

It's going to get fun with E going to Kindergarten. We are working things out with our neighbor. We do pick-up for the bus and she will catch drop off.

Also try to emphasis with the old one about getting ready on their own. It took us a bit but the 5 year old does all of her morning stuff without our help (bathroom, dressing, teeth). Then we allow her to watch a cartoon.

Really the important thing is communication. If you feel like you are taking on too much, ask for help.

And prepping the night before and cooking on the weekend are key. I try to have my lunch ready to grab. If you work out, have your clothes set out the night before. When I was pumping, I had two sets of parts. As soon as I took out the dirty parts, I put in clean ones for the next day. Same with bottles. Dirty ones came out, fresh ones are made and ready in the fridge.

I cut corners on cleaning. But again I make sure the bathroom and kitchen stay clean. I use wash cloths to clean the kids up for meals. If the floor is messy, I clean the kid up and then give the floor a quick clean and toss the wash cloth in the laundry bin.

Laundry is done daily. I try to do one load a night, that way it stays slightly in control.

[laurenash323]

My house is a hellhole most the time and I dgaf! I did just hire a cleaning lady and that has helped immensely because we have to keep things picked up in prep of her coming.

Our schedule fluctuates because I travel for work, but a typical schedule is similar to yours.
- I make sure to get up by 530 so I can have some alone time
- I try and get dd to daycare before 830 so she can eat breakfast there
- work
- dd is picked up around 5
- come home and get dinner ready and we all eat together
- once dinner is picked up, we relax in the living room.
- upstairs for books and bed around 830

I am typically drop off and pickup if I'm in town. As for the cleaning stuff, I know living in a clean/organized space is important, I don't think it's important enough to stress myself out and miss out on my kids' young days. One day they won't want to play with me on the weekend or evenings, and then maybe I'll have a put together house, but right now I have a toddler and I want to be with her as much as I can.

Oh and sex typically happens before picking dd up from daycare, sometimes in the evening if we don't pass out or on the weekend...not much anymore, not even sure how I got KU haha

[littleb92]

Mar 27, 2017 12:21:05 GMT -5 saltandvinegar said:

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has those "holyfuckhowwillwehandletwo?!?!?!" moments. My schedule is pretty similar except that I get up (*try) at 4:00 to workout and get ready for the day & I'm usually in bed by 9:30.

The main difference is that we eat dinner together (he just eats whatever we do) and then DS usually takes a long bath (he plays happily by himself - we are constantly checking on him & he babbles non-stop so I know he's ok.) while we pick up the house & clean up from dinner. I usually sneak in a load of laundry during this time & then fold it later while we are watching tv.

I try to have all of the "housework" and prepping done by 8:30 to give myself that last hour for me/us time. Sex is hard to fit in. Often we are too exhausted in the evenings to feel sexy. Sometimes we deliberately turn the tv off and just give each other on-on-one attention. Other times we just have a quickie in the morning before work.

4:00 wake up/workout/shower/pack lunches
6:15/6:30 DS gets up
7:00 out the door
5:30 home & play time until dinner (DH gets home at 4:30 a few days a week for playtime earlier)
6:15 dinner (I meal plan & try to do 1 crockpot dish, 1 make-ahead dish that I can just pop in the oven, 2 simple/quick meals, and 1 pizza night)
6:45 bath
7:15 jammies/ read2 books/brush teeth
7:30 DS bedtime
7:30-9:30 last two hours are flexible depending on how tired I am. Could be more cleaning or just a shower & relaxing.
9:30 bedtime

I have no idea what a schedule with 2 will look like. I'm also lucky that I usually* have enough time during my workday to take care of bills & any paperwork that I need to.

This is creepily my schedule exactly except I get up closer to 5:30 to workout and we leave the house at 7:30.  But yup, I'm in bed by 9:30.  Maybe 10 if DH is slow with getting in bed. 

[Deleted]

Coping skills: hiring someone to clean once a week, which I HIGHLY recommend; meal planning and being okay if you need to eat out once or twice.

7:30 wake-up
7:30 - 8:45 get ready; eat breakfast; LO get ready
8:45 leave (at the latest)
9:00 daycare drop off
9:15 park at metro
10 - 6 work
7:00 drive home
7:15 home
7:15 - 7:45 eat dinner
8:00 LO bedtime
10:00 Adult bedtime

But I also don't prioritize things like working out. If I did (I have in my life but it's not where I'm at right now) I would do it during the workday or after. I'm an evening yogi.

I don't clean. I don't even really pick-up. I shower a couple of times a week in the evening.

Other helpful tips: picking clothes the night before, packing lunches while you make dinner for the next day.

I have an extremely supportive and super helpful spouse who handles so much and I'm extremely grateful.

[mambo]

I work like 9-7 everyday and it sucks. I don't see my kids like ever and my house is gross. #goingtobeastayathomemom

[gwapes]

I work nights, so it's a bit... whatever most days.

7-8 - DS wakes me up
I get us breakfast. If it's a school day, we leave at 850 to get to school at 9.
1130 - pick DS up and run whatever errands we have to do
Get home and eat lunch.
From 1230-3-330 it's nap time for both of us.
345, feed him a snack,
4-start dinner
5- H gets off and takes DS to playground when he gets home while I get ready for work
630p - I am out the door for work

I get home from work about 3-4AM and wash/rinse/repeat

I am....freakingthefuckout on how I am going to manage sleep with a nb and ds

[saltandvinegar]

gwapes - at first I was like wow that's a pretty nice schedule. And then I read the part where you leave for work at 6:30. How on Earth do you find time to sleep? I don't think I would be able to function. Kudos to you!

[gwapes]

Mar 27, 2017 19:05:02 GMT -5 saltandvinegar said:

gwapes - at first I was like wow that's a pretty nice schedule. And then I read the part where you leave for work at 6:30. How on Earth do you find time to sleep? I don't think I would be able to function. Kudos to you!

It wasn't so bad when I was part time. Then I went full time and....ugh I get 3-4 hrs per night. Plus maybe 2-3 during the day. I feel bad, that maybe DS isn't getting enough activity. Idk. I do have a ton of guilt because of my job. Most days I'm just trying to get through it.

[mambo]

Regularly
Get to work about 8:30
Work forever and ever
Get home at 7 put Mira to bed maybe an hour for Kayden.
Eat after all the children are asleep

[jessasaurus]

My house is looking a wreck most days, but here's my schedule anyway.

5:30 wake up and get myself ready for work
6:30 get up DD, get her dressed and ready, and breakfast
7:00 drop off at daycare
7:30 - 4:00 work
4 - 4:30- pick up
Between 5 and 5:30 - eat dinner together.
5:30 - 7:30 play with DD, try to pick up the house, grade papers, clean up dinner, etc. Not all of this gets accomplished in a day. Usually just like 2 things.
7:30 bathtime/bed routine
8 - DD goes to bed
8-930 try to clean up, get lunches and dinners packed/prepped, shower, grade papers, etc. Again, choose like 2 on any given day.

Repeat. We do most of the real cleaning on the weekends it seems like then we just try and keep up during the week. Some days it's alright, some days it's not going well at all.

[jessasaurus]

Also, add me to flipping out about have 2 and working full time still. I don't have any idea how it'll work then.

[laurenash323]

Oh yes, someone mentioned picking clothes the night before...I have outfits hung in my closet for me, so all I have to do is to go to my closet and pick an outfit, not put one together. In dd's room I have a drawer with outfits put together, so all I have to do is grab the top outfit and go. It is so helpful to have this done and not have to do any "work" in the mornings. I also try and shower at night with dd, two for one bathing is so much easier and saves time.

[salmon2017]

Thank you all for your input!!!

I am very happy to see I am not losing it - life truly is as insane as it feels, but most people's lives are just as crazy as mine

Unfortunately that means there isn't much hope for a magical organizational tool or strategy that will make things better.

I guess once #2 arrives I will rely on deep breathing and wine. Mostly wine.

[wells2010]

We have no good routine since both me and H are on shiftwork. Literally cleaning is my last priority. Dishes and wiping of table/counters get done at least daily. I do have a cleaning lady every two weeks who cleans things I don't have time for. We sweep probably every other day. ST happens, but mostly because we don't watch much tv.

[andtheheartbreakers]

Our schedule is incredibly different because my husband and I both work shift work.

MH works out of town, he leaves to the airport at around 4pm on Wednesday and gets home around 10pm the following Wednesday. So he has 6.5 days off, but then is gone for 7.5 days.

I work full time, 12 hour shifts (7-7) plus an hour commute each way, mix of days and nights. When he's home he looks after everything while I'm working, and when he's gone our daughter spends a lot of time at my parents house. Whether I work a day or a night shift she has to sleepover at their place because no day care/home will take her at 5:50am and they do pickups unless I'm on nights and can grab her after I spend the day sleeping.

MH is OCD clean so our house doesn't really get messy. When he's gone I just make a point to wash the dishes after every meal so there's never dishes piled up. We eat dinner together around 5, then 5:30 is bathtime for Layla and bedtime at 6pm. We sweep the floors after she goes to bed and pick up the random odds and ends. We are going to be hiring a cleaning service though to come in and do the bathrooms, vacuuming, that kind of stuff so we don't have to worry about it anymore.

When Layla goes to bed we workout, we have a home gym, and then we usually just watch tv. It helps that we're both shift workers so the amount of days off at home we have is more than a M-F schedule.

[luciddreamer]

I work the evening shift and MH works various shifts, so our schedules are weird.

6:30-7:30 DS wakes me up, have breakfast

9:30 take DS to daycare and go to gym, pick up house, do a load of laundry, take a nap, get ready for work

2 pm leave for work
DH picks up DS when he wakes up if working night shift or gets off work
6 pm dinner
7:30-8 pm DS bed time
Midnight get home from work, sleep about 1-1:30 am

If it's a weekend, the schedule is different. DS takes a nap at 12:30, then I can shower, nap, and get ready for work.

We have a house cleaner come every 2 weeks. It has helped to do weekly meal planning. It saved a lot of time and stress about what to make.

[littleb92]

We also have a house cleaner come every two weeks, but I told DH that she is going to come once a week when #2 arrives, at least at first. Even if that means she plays with DS so I can nap, or puts in a load of laundry for us, I anticipate needing help. I am also debating getting a second freezer in the basement and doubling all recipes/freezing half for the days that I can't muster planning a meal (meal planning is a life saver). Now, if my dog only needed one walk a day, we'd be set...currently we still walk him after dinner, which is fine, but with two kids will be more difficult. We have a big back yard, but he is spoiled/our first child, and he LOVES walks.

[salmon2017]

Thanks to those who suggested prepping outfits for the week for DS and myself. I normally do mine the night before and DS in the morning, and I didn't really find it that stressful. But it was super nice to go to bed last night knowing that I don't have to think about it again for the rest of the week. Especially now I am in a weird phase where nothing fits right!

[alleycat39]

I freak out about the same thing! To make life easier, I prep lunches at night and try to pick out outfits at night. We also meal plan on Sundays before I do the food shopping, but that doesn't include actually cutting/prepping food. I get stressed bc I do daycare drop off and pick up, so I feel like I can never run an errand on my way home. Here is my schedule:

445am-Wake up and go to gym (home by 6)-do this 3-4 days a week

6-630: "me" time which usually involves washing dishes and drinking coffee

630-shower, wake up DD, do the "kitchen scramble" as DH and I prep breakfast and feed DD

745-daycare drop off

8-430: work
5/530-daycare pick up

6-7: someone throw together a dinner for DD and get ready for bed (DH gets home sometime during that hour)

Once DD goes to bed, DH and I prep and eat dinner and then hang out on the couch.

Sex happens once in a blue moon when I'm not gassy, too full, or too tired! I'm neurotic about "straightening up" however never really get a chance to do a real clean. My philosophy is that it's less stressful for me to always be picking up junk to straighten up rather than live in a chaotic, messy house. I wish I could just let that go....