Advice on WFH

[traveltheworld]

We just moved to a new city and DH will be working from home 3 days a week while commuting back to our old city (3 hours away) for two days a week. The idea is that he'll eventually only need to go in every two weeks.

Neither of us has ever worked from home before. We've rented a townhouse and there's no room for a separate office. We are actively looking to buy a house where there will be room but in the meantime, we've set up a desk in our bedroom.

The kids will be with the nanny downstairs, and DH is wondering if he should pop down during lunch/breaks or does it work better to be completely invisible for the 8 hours he is supposed to be working? Any other advice/tips?

[justcheckingin73]

I WFH but my kids are in school. I don't have a walled off office which is good and bad obviously - I can keep an eye on my son before and after school but it can mean lots of interruptions at times. For the most part, I'm by myself.

Last summer, I hired a nanny so I made a temporary office in my bedroom upstairs. I found that it was easier to be almost invisible. I'm not sure how old your kids are but even at my kids ages, they still saw me and had a ton to tell me/ask me/whatever. Especially my youngest who sometimes would make a stink about me making his lunch. It put me in a really awkward position with the nanny. So I would either make my lunch really early or after they ate. Not sure if it's a possibility, but maybe they can have outside time either before or after lunch so your DH can sneak downstairs for a break?

[2chatter]

There isn't a right answer... I have done everything under the sun - depending on the ages of the kids, who the sitter was, what they were doing, my workload, etc. I prefer not to see the kids much during the workday - but now they are used to being quick and not expecting me to hang out. Some days I do watch a movie with them while working when I have boring cleanup tasks.

[mae0111]

I think it depends on your kids. My kids got used to me working upstairs in my office with a nanny here, so they are OK with me popping in and out. I say goodbye to them in the morning, say hello to DD2 10 mins or so at lunch, and again when DD1 gets home from school mid-afternoon. They're fine with it - and they also know that they're not allowed in my office when I'm working.

[ECB]

I agree- this is so an "it depends" situations. Your kids, the age of your kids, etc. Some kids are fine W their parents working in another room. Other kids want to go and see that parent constantly and impede on their ability to work.

I've read where some pepole have to actually leave the house and pretend they are going off to work, then sneak back in to actually work. Otherwise, their kids will bug them all day.

And yes, who your nanny is matters too. Will they be the right person to keep your kids happy and entertained and even if the kids say "I want to see daddy", they can keep the kids away during certain hours?

I think I'd ere on the side of caution and try to start off with being "away" most of the time. As time goes on, then start testing the waters and see how the kids/nanny do with knowing you're there.

[kbw12]

It's kid dependent. When I've had to wfh with DS (not typical), I've checked on him during breaks/ lunch but he knows he can also come to me if he needs me.

For DS since he knows I'm working , he knows he has to let mommy work.

[brachysira]

My situation isn't entirely the same--I was teaching adjunct online courses (but not live) so I would only need a baby-sitter for a few hours/day. My kids always needed things from me and I had to send them out. Like, go to the park, library, etc. Also, lots of screaming is hard to ignore, although I did unless it was like "where is my bunny" and it was in my lap. A more regular nanny would know more about how things work around your house so that could help, and your kids may be less insane or less attached to dad. I know other people who WFH at a coffeeshop. I would just have some options in case it doesn't seem to be working as well as you'd like.