~*~ PgAL/PAIF check-in week of April 23 ~*~

[muscari]

Welcome to the PgAL and PAIF check-in!

This is a weekly check-in for those of us who are pregnant after loss and/or infertility. Feel free to jump in any time!
The check-in is a safe place to share all things that come with being PgAL and/or PAIF. Use this thread to ask questions, share your excitement/rage/worries/whatever, or to ask for support!

Please come on in and let us know how you're doing, and know you are always welcome to come back throughout the week whenever you need to!! ♥

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PgAL Mantras
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/1034/pgal-mantras

PAIF Mantras
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/57254/welcome-paif-read-before-posting


**Loss/trigger warnings are not necessary here**

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Weekly check-in:

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Anything else you'd like to share?

QoTW:  What is your favorite (preferable easiest too) recipe that always makes your tummy happy, even while pregnant?

[king26]

How far along are you?
22+4
How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Ok. I think I have a sinus infection so I'm a snotty mess and have a headache. Pregnancy related I'm having these weird pains at night. It feels like it's where my ovaries are on both sides, though I'm fairly sure it isn't them, and it hurts until I get up and walk around. It happens almost nightly now.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Nothing until May 8th.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? nope

Anything else you'd like to share? I've got a good start on my registry. After panicking in the store when we went I really got down to business and while I don't have everything on there, I feel better. Also, my work picked a shower date for me so I'm really excited abotu that!

QoTW: What is your favorite (preferable easiest too) recipe that always makes your tummy happy, even while pregnant?
DOn't laugh because I'm like the total gourmet cook, but buttered Parmesan noodles is my favorite recipe and I've eaten it at least once a week since pregnant. I can always eat it.

[cali]

How far along are you?
22w3d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Physically fine. Emotionally, struggling. I already ranted on PAIF and CAR so I'll spare you all the details again. Bottpm line is I'm just have a lot of anxiety for no real reason.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
Nothing until next week. Then I have a regular OB appointment and growth u/s on the 3rd.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
Not at the moment, thanks.

Anything else you'd like to share?
We're going on vacation in a couple weeks and I cannot wait!!

QoTW: What is your favorite (preferable easiest too) recipe that always makes your tummy happy, even while pregnant?
Super weird, but avocado toast. It's basically just multigrain toast with slices of avocado sprinkled with red pepper flakes and sea salt. So delicious!

[cali]

muscari, thanks for the check in, hope you're feeling better!

king26, sorry you're having those weird pains. I have a lot of weird pains when I sleep too but not in that specific area, so far. Congrats on getting your registry done! I got mine mostly done too. Probably need to add a few more things but the bulk of it is done.

[yoshijo28]

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically good. Had a cold last week but better now. Emotionally not feeling good about how my body looks. Also anxious about $ and the baby's room being done.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Nope

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Nope

Anything else you'd like to share? We registered yesterday which was fun!

QoTW: What is your favorite (preferable easiest too) recipe that always makes your tummy happy, even while pregnant.

Haha, I don't cook much. But I've been loving black bean burgers with cheese and avocado. Or peanut butter & jelly. Can't go wrong with that.

[muscari]

How far along are you? 23w4d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Recovering from the flu so not feeling great. Tis like all came together; extreme obstipation, nausea and indigestion, a wonky ticker, endless exhaustion, and the flu on top made for a very sad, unwell and teary muscari. I literally spend 20h of my day in bed this week. At some point this weekend I truly believed I'd be feeling this crappy for the remainder of my pregnancy and that just made me so upset LOL. I've since had some more rest and I know I'll feel better once I beat the flu. Called in sick today but hope to be back to work later this week.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
I have a heart echocardiogram for myself scheduled on Friday. Next up are the 28wk fu A/S May 22 and a meeting with the MFM and cardiologist the day. I probably will reschedule the MFM and cardio appointment though as I have some things to discuss/ask re the heart medication they kind of want me to start back on, and I don't feel comfortable waiting till late May with that.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
No thanks

Anything else you'd like to share?
Getting sick messed up our plans for the second half of our holiday, which sucks cause I had hoped get started on the nursery. I know we'll get things done in time but have started to feel a little anxious about prepping for baby. We have zero prepared just yet, bought nothing except for a couple of onesies, etc. On the one hand I haven't felt ready to start things, and still aren't completely, then on the other hand I'm like Omgosh but we're well on our way to 3rd trim and what if baby comes early and we'll never have things ready in time. But then the anxiety peaks back up and ugh.

QoTW: What is your favorite (preferable easiest too) recipe that always makes your tummy happy, even while pregnant?
That would be pasta with stirfried mushrooms, turkey filet bits and brocolli in a light creamy sauce. Nomnom!

[cravingchocolate05]

I've been kind of absent lately for no particular reason but I'll try to post more. cali, I sympathize about the anxiety. I feel like I should be less anxious now, but now I'm overanalyzing movement and whether he's moving enough. I was a nervous wreck before a growth scan this morning, but everything looked good. I hope your anxiety fades away. It's really a joy-stealer.

yoshijo28, the weight gain is tough. I hope you start to feel better about it, but it's so weird how much pregnancy changes things. I'm like, the baby is only a pound right now--why have I gained 20??? It does drop off eventually, but I feel like a gigantic ugly duckling, lol.


Weekly check-in:

How far along are you? 22w 3 days

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically okay. Nauseated again and super hungry. I fell over like a huge clutz at an amusement park a few weeks ago and my right hip has not been the same since. Emotionally, my anxiety goes away for about two weeks and then returns with a vengeance. I need to just chill.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Had a growth scan today bc of high blood pressure. Everything looked great. He was grabbing his toes, which was so cute.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Not at the moment.

Anything else you'd like to share? Can't think of anything.

QoTW: What is your favorite (preferable easiest too) recipe that always makes your tummy happy, even while pregnant.

Not really a recipe, but breakfast!! I scramble eggs with smoked Gouda cheese, make pancakes from Bisquick (the "healthy" version) and fry bacon or sausage. Dh is so tired of breakfast, lol.

[muscari]

cravingchocolate05, hi! so nice to read from you again :-) I love scrambled eggs with gouda cheese mmmm. Except that pregnancy & eggs isn't a good combination for me right now *insert sad face* Sorry to hear you're dealing with high BP, glad baby boy is doing fine though!

yoshijo28, sorry you're struggling with your body image right now. I had a couple of weeks where I felt really blah as well and didn't at all liked how my body looked like - but luckily it changed and I really kinda love my bump now. Having proper fitting maternity cloths helped a ton for me. And FWIW, I think you look great on your HDBD pics *hugs*

cali, PgAL&PAIF is no joke! *hugs* I struggle a lot with anxiety over seemingly nothing as well. Some days I'm fine and feeling happy and excited then the next it's back to feeling all insecure and worried and anxious. It comes and goes, I just hope that for the both of us the happyness and excitement will take over more and more!

Ugh king26 sinus infections suck so bad! Hope you feel better soon. Could it be RLP that you are experiencing? I'm sorry you're dealing with this, it's hard enough to get proper rest as it is. Maybe sleeping with an extra pillow or two could help?

[king26]

I'm sorry you are struggling cali, That's part of the reason we've bought like nothing for this baby. I'm hoping once I hit 24 weeks I'll feel better but you just never know.

I'm sorry you've been so sick muscari, I hope you are on the mend. We haven't done anything in the nursery either and I feel like you. I'm panicking we havent done anythign but I'm afraid to do anything.

[addymac]

How far along are you? 23+2

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? woof. I spilled a lot over on CAR, I didn't even realize I needed to spill - basically, just having lots of feels about people constantly asking "is this your first" and me saying "yes" and the sadness r/t to loss baby and then the guilt i feel when i'm crying over loss baby and feel this one kick - b/c if loss baby had lived, this baby wouldn't exist. I sobbed my eyes out Saturday night after a long day of errands and person after person asking me about the pregnancy. I just wonder if I will ever stop comparing to where I should be as a parent or if I will always feel sad and guilt. I'm scared I'm not going to bond with my baby when it's born, especially because he's due right around the dates we found out the other baby died and I had to have my d&c. I'm terrified to be in the hospital overlapping the same time. Like, he's due 8/19, we found out baby had died on 8/22 and I had my d&c on 8/25. Odds are it will overlap and I can't begin to wrap my head around how I will feel. I just hope he's not born on one of those two days. That will be too much for me, I think. sigh. good sign that I'm thinking of his birthday, though, right?

Physically - just hungry all the damn time. And tender underbelly again these last two days.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? - OB check up on Wednesday! I kind of forgot it was coming. It'll be nice to hear the hb but he kicks a decent amount I know he's alive in there...

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? I'm okay, thank you

Anything else you'd like to share? I bought him these adorable converse bootie socks. I wanted to buy him actual shoes but DH convinced me that we should wait til he's born to make sure we get him the proper size. I wear converse all the time, so i want to get him matching ones. I like to think it's a good sign of me bonding with him

QoTW: What is your favorite (preferable easiest too) recipe that always makes your tummy happy, even while pregnant? lol. I can eat a burger pretty much every day. and pizza. And sadly, Ramen. It's one of the few things I could eat when super nauseated, so even though it's so unhealthy, my DH fully supported my daily Ramen meal, haha.... I am not much of a cook. I'm terrified of cooking for a child.

[elliecat17]

How far along are you? 22+6. Baby is the size of a water bottle.

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically good. Lots of bloating and gas this week. Emotionally good too, seems to be a pretty easy going week for me.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
Regular appointment with my Midwife tomorrow afternoon.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
Nope I'm doing good. Thanks though!

Anything else you'd like to share?
Anyone else starting to worry about all the things they have left to do before august? H won't pull down the nursery walls so we can redo them until the weather gets nice, which I understand, but our weather just won't cooperate. All the snow finally melted, it was almost 70 Saturday and Sunday we woke up to 2 inches of fresh snow. Arg!

QoTW: What is your favorite (preferable easiest too) recipe that always makes your tummy happy, even while pregnant? Tomatoes and toast. Slice the tomatoes, put on toasted buttered bread and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Or cheesy buttered noodles. Because H doesn't let me eat tomatoes and toast often because Raw tomatoes make my throat itchy sometimes.

[muscari]

elliecat17, I hear you on feeling the time pressure of everything left to do before August. We have a LOT of work to do before we can call the nursery finished, and MH just won't start. I'd start without him if it wasn't for the fact I need his muscle heh. And what drives me most nuts is that he'll offer to help out at friends and then wants to use his free time for THAT rather then get our things done here at home. I actually put my foot down earlier today and said that I wasn't gonne let him out a friend until we made a start here first. We'll see what happens tomorrow (we have are off work both Wed as Thu due to compensation hours and a national holiday).

addymac, first of **hugs**! I hate that question with a vengeance. Sometimes I just smile and say yes, but it makes me feel sad and upset cause I want to acknowledge the baby we lost as well. So lately I've changed it into something like "first baby that hopefully will be coming home with us, but not first pregnancy" or something along those lines. Yes it seems to be a bit of a conversation stopper for some, but tbh those who ask but can't deal with a honest answer I don't care about. One exception is when patients ask me at work.. while I do want to be honest with them as well I just don't think tis the right time&place for that so back to my plastered smile I go then.

As for bonding with your baby, it is something I have worried about as well but lately have found more peace. I think it will be okay? At first I couldn't help but compare this pregnancy with our MMC pg. I was too scared and anxious to get attached and REALLY worried I would never bond with my new baby. And I have felt upset about this baby being our first THB rather then a sibling to the one we lost. As time passes (and we've passed all our milestones) this has become a stand-alone pregnancy so to speak, and especially since our A/S and knowing it's a girl I've gotten this sense of.. I dunno, I can't explain, but I feel I'm going to be okay. I can't imagine how rough it must be to think and worry about your baby boy's birthday to fall on your loss anniversary. No advice but lots of hugs ♥♥♥

[elliecat17]

addymac and muscari I have only been asked it a few times and I, being mean, have said this is my first that will hopefully come home with me. They either back pedal or they look a little shocked. But really it's just as bad as touching people's stomachs.

[muscari]

Apr 25, 2017 11:36:23 GMT -5 elliecat17 said:

addymac and muscari I have only been asked it a few times and I, being mean, have said this is my first that will hopefully come home with me. They either back pedal or they look a little shocked. But really it's just as bad as touching people's stomachs.

I too have felt a little mean in a way when saying that but then again... why should we have to cover up our history and heartache just because it would make someone else possibly uncomfortable. For one I think one shouldn't ask questions if they aren't interested in an honest answer but and especially secondly.. losses and IF are nothing to be ashamed or hushhush about. But sometimes peoples reactions do make you feel like that it seems - whether they mean to or not.. - I just hate that and at times that just makes me so upset (and angry, not at those people per se but the whole suckyness that is IF and PL). Ahh I am rambling sorry.. tis just something I struggle with. I am unhappy at times how I deal with my loss and IF history, I want to be more open then I currently am and can be and that frustrates me and makes me sad and all kinds of meh.

[cali]

addymac, I understand. This baby is due around the same time we found out we lost our first and I had a d&c. I really hope they don't overlap as well, but it's already really tough that they will be so close together. I have found as time goes on I don't think about the what could have beens quite as much (they used to absolutely consume me), but I don't think it ever goes away. Just yesterday, I was thinking about how this baby should have a 2 yr old sibling and I should be a pro at parenting by now and I got so sad.