Get ready to side eye me.
Feb 18, 2015 12:06:41 GMT -5
Post by helenahhandbasket on Feb 18, 2015 12:06:41 GMT -5
I will unload a bit here-- if that's OK. I feel uncomfortable discussing with my IRL peeps at this time and I don't have a lot of family support- so here it goes. I am open and willing to listen to all of the things I am probably overlooking.
If you are an OaD newb-- I will give a quick backstory. H and I decided to divorce in June. It had been a long time coming-- I initiated, he's a bit bitter but we have been trying our best to co-parent civilly. I have custody of DD-- STBXH has her every other weekend. We have had a few setbacks in terms of filing-- we are doing it ourselves (thru Legal Zoom) so we have had to have the paperwork re-done a few times because of errors. Fine. Divorce is moving forward but slower than I would like.
Shortly after he moved out, I signed up for online dating. I figured it would be nice to meet some new men, go out on some dates, make myself busy. Longs story short is that while I did go out on a few casual first dates that were fun-- I met someone in August and it got really serious really quickly. He's met my folks--we spent Thanksgiving and Christmas together and Josie is head over heels for him (and he is amazing with her).
He currently lives about an hour away, so now that I am in my own place (was living with parents while I got my ish together) he's been staying over more. He usually does at least one weeknight (which is good so he can see how crazy my schedule is during the week) and then Friday and Saturday night. Great.
Here's the side eye part-- we have recently discussed him moving in with Josie and I.
The pros-- split rent (we live in a HCOL area), have an extra set of eyes, he gets more of a real feel for my day to day life, we get to spend more time together and grow as a legit couple.
The cons-- it's "too soon", my divorce isn't final (and might still not be for a while), if it doesn't work out -- traumatizing Josie, side eye from friends and fam (that think it's too soon, my divorce isn't final, me traumatizing my child).
Timeline for this per our most recent conversation would likely be May 1.
I realize that posting this sort of makes it real-- and now there are no backsies.
Give it to me.
If you are an OaD newb-- I will give a quick backstory. H and I decided to divorce in June. It had been a long time coming-- I initiated, he's a bit bitter but we have been trying our best to co-parent civilly. I have custody of DD-- STBXH has her every other weekend. We have had a few setbacks in terms of filing-- we are doing it ourselves (thru Legal Zoom) so we have had to have the paperwork re-done a few times because of errors. Fine. Divorce is moving forward but slower than I would like.
Shortly after he moved out, I signed up for online dating. I figured it would be nice to meet some new men, go out on some dates, make myself busy. Longs story short is that while I did go out on a few casual first dates that were fun-- I met someone in August and it got really serious really quickly. He's met my folks--we spent Thanksgiving and Christmas together and Josie is head over heels for him (and he is amazing with her).
He currently lives about an hour away, so now that I am in my own place (was living with parents while I got my ish together) he's been staying over more. He usually does at least one weeknight (which is good so he can see how crazy my schedule is during the week) and then Friday and Saturday night. Great.
Here's the side eye part-- we have recently discussed him moving in with Josie and I.
The pros-- split rent (we live in a HCOL area), have an extra set of eyes, he gets more of a real feel for my day to day life, we get to spend more time together and grow as a legit couple.
The cons-- it's "too soon", my divorce isn't final (and might still not be for a while), if it doesn't work out -- traumatizing Josie, side eye from friends and fam (that think it's too soon, my divorce isn't final, me traumatizing my child).
Timeline for this per our most recent conversation would likely be May 1.
I realize that posting this sort of makes it real-- and now there are no backsies.
Give it to me.