Tell me how you're REALLY feeling

[honda13]

Everyone always asks, but it's just being polite. I want to know how you are really doing. Are you are ready as you'll ever be? Ready to be done? Enjoying these last few weeks?

[honda13]

As much as I'm ready to be done and fast forward to meeting this baby I am so not ready. It hit me today that these are dd1 last few weeks of being an only child and having us to herself. That hit me really hard. I know​ she won't remember it but it still gives me feelings.

[sdlaura]

May 10, 2017 10:37:19 GMT -5 honda13 said:

As much as I'm ready to be done and fast forward to meeting this baby I am so not ready. It hit me today that these are dd1 last few weeks of being an only child and having us to herself. That hit me really hard. I know​ she won't remember it but it still gives me feelings.

That's a funny coincidence - it also just hit me this morning that I don't think I'm ready to be done.  But for me it was more of a selfish thought about how much more complicated my life is going to get soon, vs. worrying about my big kids. 

I am excited to meet my baby and make sure he or she is OK and find out whether it's a boy or girl, and start to feel normal in my body again.  But I also know that life is comparatively easy right now vs. how it's going to be very soon.

[violetrose]

sdlaura I feel pretty much exactly the same way you do. I'm anxious to have this baby and not be huge and pregnant anymore, but I'm also nervous for how our lives will be with 3 littles. I go back and forth between hoping I have this baby NOW and getting nervous about her arrival and not wanting it to come yet. It's a weird mix of emotions for me. We are really busy this month too and I find myself getting so anxious about when she is arriving and if we get a hold of x, y, and z to cancel appointments and such.

[sdlaura]

violetrose, ITA. When I had DS at 38+2, I had planned to take the day off to get some stuff done. So I had scheduled carpet cleaners, an acupuncture appointment, a hair appointment, and an eyebrow wax. He was born a little after 9 am and not too long after I called the carpet people and texted the other three and told them I'd just had a baby. It's a pretty good excuse - no one is going to hold it against you if you forget to cancel something because you just had a baby

[marshian]

I go back and forth between feeling we're as ready as we'll ever be and feeling not ready at all. There's a fair amount of stuff still to do (wash diapers and clothes, buy more clothes after shower, put together stroller and swing, freezer meals, etc). I do want to finish reading the book I have on breastfeeding so I have an idea of how things could go and how to get started.

I said to H last night these are the last few weeks we'll know for certain where baby is and that they're okay (i.e. in the womb). I'm not stressed about caring for an infant (I've babysat a ton and am comfortable with babies), but thinking about actual parenting of a child and trying to instill values in them is a scary thought at times.

[agm04]

i have soooo many feels about this being the end of our time as a family of 3. things are always busy right now, but we have such a good groove going, we get to sleep, and DD is so happy. i am so scared to disrupt all of that, and i really hope DD and i can still be best buddies and i can find ways to give her the attention she deserves. i always hear that the love multiplies with 2nd+ kids, but it's so hard to imagine loving another one the way i love her. and now i'm crying.

i think i want to try to take off at least one day a week between now and baby time, and more if i can swing it. and i may cook dinner less often so i can spend more time focusing on her and less time cooking and cleaning. i'll never get this time with her back!

i kind of rambled instead of answering the question, but that's what's on my mind. if the baby came today, we'd be fine. still have things to do, but nothing that can't be done at the last minute.

[leloyd]

I am so not ready. Literally not ready. I am not ready for my DD1 to no longer be an only. She has been cutting molars and canine teeth and has been extremely needy, so right now is not the best time to completely change her world up. My house is a disaster. I do have cleaners coming tomorrow so that should help. My husband finishes his semester of school tomorrow as well so he can finally get to the massive to-do list that has been building for him. I have washed most of the clothes, but we still need to get the co-sleeper cleaned out and the infant car seat cleaned and installed. I am also waiting on the pre-authorization from my insurance and I have to fax in forms for my maternity leave. I am just praying this baby stays put a bit longer.

[cateyes]

I am so not ready. I have been having mini anxiety attacks thinking about soon he will be here and I can't "protect him" from the world like before. Plus (cart before the horse) I am having feels about him n0t being with me all the time. Like having to return to work and not keeping him with me all day, everyday. I look forward to meeting him on the outside but just want to be next to him forever.

[lulu783]

Like so many PP's, I'm not ready. I'm not ready to give up our family of 3 yet, I'm not ready in the sense this baby has no nursery set up yet, no carseat washed and ready to go, no hospital bag packed, no nothing. I can remember vividly feeling that feeling of wanting to keep DD inside to 'protect' her, but this time I feel like I will breathe easier when he's out and I have a little control over him.

[sdlaura]

lulu783, I'm with you that I feel more comfortable with baby out than in.

If it makes anyone feel any better, we were watching old videos last night of DD and DS when DS was a tiny baby. Like her trying to hold him while we hovered nearby. And it was SO adorable. I recommend focusing on how cute your kids are going to be together rather than what will change for your current kid

DH and I were getting all sappy watching the videos and the kids are just like "can we watch Paw Patrol now?"

[agm04]

sdlaura can you tell us about how DD did with the transition from only child to big sis? i do try to focus on how cute they will be together. it keeps me going.

[sdlaura]

agm04, there was zero jealousy that we were aware of, but she was really young (17 months). Our #1 word during that time was "gentle!" since she had no concept of a baby being delicate.

I was also super worried about how having another baby would impact her, especially given that she was so young and I felt like we were stealing her babyhood. But it was so incredible how as soon as DS was born, I viewed her as the big kid who could handle adapting, and I was really protective of DS as the more delicate, needier kid. And luckily I think having a sibling did make her a lot more adaptable in general.

We kept sending her to daycare while I was on maternity leave with DS and that was great because I could give him full attention during the day (and in the middle of the night), and then in the mornings, evenings, and weekends when I was with both kids, I could give some additional attention to DD. That's my biggest piece of advice for adding another kid - make sure that you have help with the older one. Whether that's daycare, preschool, a babysitter, family to come pick up the older one and take him or her on an outing, etc. It made the transition SO much easier.

[iris1264]

I'm not ready to have another baby, but I'm definitely ready to not be pregnant anymore. I have a lot of work that I need to start on my mental health.

Finding out that this LO is going to be tiny like DS and may come early has been a bit of a wake up call for me to get things ready. I've been working on it, but I still feel like my due date is forever away.

To all PPs who are sad that their time with an only child is ending, I feel for you! I totally felt that way before DS was born. But watching DD as a big sister has been amazing, and watching them play together and love each other has made all that go away. I'm much less worried about the transition this time (as far as that goes).

[agm04]

sdlaura iris1264 thanks for the perspective. i know my mom will want to be around to help some, but sdlaura what you said about having help with the older kid makes me so glad we decided to match with another au pair even though i will be on leave for 4 months. now DD has already bonded with her and hopefully will enjoy the one on one time while i'm newborn focused, and if DH is working late maybe the extra hands will be helpful while i try to give DD1 some special time too. i sort of dread the idea of someone else being around while i'm on leave, but it is probably a good thing.

[mreve]

I'm nervous about how much more complicated life is going to become in the next month, though I'm certainly ready to be able to breathe again! If baby were to come this week I would be woefully unprepared, I've had a giant list of house/yard projects I want to wrap up and haven't done baby prep at all.
I'm also starting to get nervous about giving birth again. All in all my first was a good experience, but not something I have any desire to relive. I've been holding on to hope that the second time will be easier, but generally not thinking about it too much. Now that the end is close I can't ignore that this baby has to come out somehow. I really wish I could just skip that part.
I actually can't wait for the part where DS is a sibling because he's super spoiled with adult attention and isn't very good at playing with other kids. I think a sibling will be very good for him, though I foresee a difficult transition.

[sdlaura]

mreve ITA that it is really good for kid #1 to realize they're not the center of the universe. I think that realization will serve them well for the rest of their lives.

A couple other things I was thinking about regarding the transition are that I am a super schedule and routine oriented person but I relaxed my standards when kid #2 arrived and it definitely made life easier. I realized the world wouldn't come crashing down if DD watched some TV or went to bed a few minutes late, or the dog didn't get a walk.

I also alternated everyday (and sometimes every hour) between thinking 'I've totally got this two kid thing" and "this is a total mess - how do people ever handle two kids at a time?!' But obviously we figured it out enough to want to do it again

[violetrose]

On another note- I'm terrified of labor. DD's labor and delivery was horrible and I don't wish it on anyone. DS's labor and delivery was a dream. Everything went according to plan, he came out in 3 pushes, I didn't tear, and I was feeling like "myself" after about a week. I guess I'm scared because I've had two completely different labor and deliveries and I know it could go either way this time (or even worse/better). I think because I've already done it two times, I'm nervous because I know what can or can't happen.

[teachermomtobe]

I am getting so excited to meet her and she what she looks like and what her personality is! I am also completely terrified of what it will be like to care for a newborn since this is baby #1. I stress about how life will change for DH and me and how our relationship will change because we have been together for 12 years and married for almost 5 with it just being the 2 of us. I also stress when I think about the things left to do even though it honestly isn't that much left to do. 5ish weeks OMG!

[trebletrouble13]

If baby decided to come right now, we are prepared with clothes, nursing supplies, car seat, and a place to sleep. That being said, I'm not sure I'm emotionally prepared or have done enough to get DS prepared for her arrival. DH and I have barely spoken about our plan for once baby is here and he has another 6 weeks of work left (teacher) in which he has a lot to do. We're hoping she is on time or a smidge late, like DS (induced at 41+2).
ETA: There are still things I want to do/have done before she gets here, so I don't feel like I have things completely prepared for her homecoming and beyond.

[brandiewine11]

I'm feeling really crappy physically with the heartburn, nausea, lack of appetite, general discomfort, etc.

Mentally I have a lot of anxiety about the delivery.

DS is super excited to be a big brother. I'm trying to savor or last few weeks as a family of 3 but also really excited about seeing him as a big brother. He's so sweet and caring. I know there will be rocky moments but I know he will still be my buddy.

We signed up for a family membership at the y so the baby can go through childcare and I can have some 1:1 time during the week with DS swimming or whatever.

[applemuffins]

Honestly, I am super ready to be done. I have not enjoyed this pregnancy. I am very uncomfortable. I was just telling DH yesterday that I just want to be able to lay down comfortably again. The only way I can lay down that is safe and pain free is propped up on a bunch of pillows like a recliner.

I am too tired at the end of the day to really spend quality time with DD. I could push past that, but there's also the pain and mobility issues. I could barely help her get her pants up while I was sitting the other day because I couldn't lean forward enough. They were playing a family game of Candy Land but I can't sit on the floor for that, nor on the hard chairs at the table for that long. I want to take her out to the zoo and the park and for picnics and such, but I just can't be on my feet that long. Luckily she is such a chill kid that she is happy to bring me toys to play with while I sit, like tea party and such. But I want to feel better so I can enjoy her and even my husband again. I can't sit and cuddle with him because there is no comfortable way to do that for long and in bed there are too many pillows between us.

I just want to be done. I hope he decides to show up at at 38 weeks. I'm 36 weeks on Saturday. I don't care if I don't dont have everything 100% done and ready. I just want to feel normal again. I know newborns are hard, but I also luckily have help from my MIL who lives with us, so adding another kid isn't scary to me. And I am super excited to see DD interacting with new baby. I'm getting nervous for delivery since DD tore a pelvic ligament on the way out which caused so much pain during recovery. And I'm nervous about DD seeing me in pain when contractions start. She can be very sensitive. But overall, I'm just ready.

[sdlaura]

violetrose, if it's any consolation, it seems like for most people I know, labors tend to get easier/quicker the more they have. Of course there are special circumstances, but fingers crossed it's more like your second labor than your first this time around!

brandiewine11, we practically live at our Y. It's so refreshing to be able to use the childcare for even like 45 minutes. Great idea to join!

[cheezee]

Mentally I'm not ready at all! I'm starting to get very emotional about DD not being our baby anymore. She's 5.5 and its very hard for me to wrap my brain around adding another to our family. I know I'll be consumed with the baby and H will get more time with DD. I keep having this feeling that I'm going to lose her...that she'll want nothing to do with me and then start to resent her little brother. Crazy talk I know. I'm sure we'll get in our groove and we'll be able to balance our time eventually.
Physically I am so done. So ready to get this baby out. I'm a ball of nerves until I figure out if this kid is head down or not. I'm so anxious about L&D. I just want him out safe and to get this family of four show on the road!

[lindsay]

brandiewine11 cheezee applemuffins I'm with you guys, feeling like crap! I'm SO done and honestly have been done since 32 ish weeks. This twin pregnancy has been so hard, but im thankful to have made it this far with healthy growing babies.

I don't sleep well/much, everything aches, and I have zero energy. I haven't been able to play with DD or go out and do much in ages. Heartburn, PUPPPs and a cold. Remind me never to get pregnant again haha

ONE MORE WEEK!! Then bring on the vagina, uterus and boob pain and sleep deprivation LOL.

[honda13]

May 10, 2017 13:37:22 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

lulu783, I'm with you that I feel more comfortable with baby out than in.

If it makes anyone feel any better, we were watching old videos last night of DD and DS when DS was a tiny baby. Like her trying to hold him while we hovered nearby. And it was SO adorable. I recommend focusing on how cute your kids are going to be together rather than what will change for your current kid

DH and I were getting all sappy watching the videos and the kids are just like "can we watch Paw Patrol now?"

Thank you for sharing your experience! I know I'm just emotional but I'm like omg I'm ruining her universe. She really loves babies though and I know she'll be an amazing big sister!

[ihatepizza]

I'm terrified but also excited to meet baby. Everything is 100% ready but I still find myself having anxiety about things I don't know. I'm a planner and super intellectual so I don't like not knowing everything. I've read about 10 baby books since going on bedrest and I think it only highlights how much I don't know. I'm also terrified of the lack of sleep, I'm such a sleeper because of my autoimmune conditions and I'm worried that my frequent wakings (I get up to use the washroom about 10ish times a night) are going to make me even more sleep deprived once baby is here.

Luckily I live with my sister, DH is wonderful and my mom will be here for two weeks. I know for most people that would be super overwhelming but I'm a huge extrovert and a huge perk is our house has a granny suite. Basically my mom will be doing cooking, cleaning, helping me and pet care while DH is at work and then hanging out in the apartment with my sister when DH is home. I don't think it's hit me that baby will be here next week. I will be induced (or have a c section) on May 19th if not earlier. My OB has also made it VERY clear that the date is not set in stone and any indication that baby needs to be here earlier and baby will be taken out.

[ihatepizza]

Just realized I wrote a book, apparently I have a lot of feelings about next week

[trebletrouble13]

ihatepizza - you are not alone in your novel. I'm glad you have so many people who will be there to support you post-partum. I hope baby is able to hang out until the 19th! I also like to READ ALL THE THINGS!!! Just remember that your experience will likely not be exactly what is in the books and you will figure out your own way of doing things.

[lindsay]

You got this ihatepizza!!