TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
That thread was so ugly. Ugly to the point where I don't know if I want to stay or go. IF/loss may have been a priority when this site was founded; I no longer believe this to be accurate. I no longer believe that this site will be here next week.
And on SM they say "baby dust."
FB is sounding better and better to me.
**grad**
FUCK NO. baby dust. I will cut a bitch.
Hey, IGNORANT asshats, what if "baby dust" is all you have left of your fully formed child that died inside of you? Baby dust. It makes me all kinds of RAGEY. (Continuing to read this thread....)
Post by heartpresidents on May 19, 2017 20:10:46 GMT -5
Oh no! Work got crazy for a few days and I've missed everything! I don't think I need to read that thread though because I have no interest in joining a board without a loss group, and specifically, one for only late term and child loss, and an IF board. I wouldn't even entertain the idea. And do not get me started on baby dust! I cringed typing that!
I'm not a hugely active poster and I realize that, but figured if we're sharing them I may as well share.
Jan '13: TI w/letrozole, BFP, DS born Oct '13 Dec '15: IUI#1, BFN Jan '16: Cancelled IUI (too many follicles) Feb '16: IUI#2, BFP, DS2 stillborn June'16 @22 weeks We love you baby boy! Aug '16: D&C for retained placenta Oct '16: Removal of interuterine adhesions Jan '17: IUI#3 No ovulation?!? Feb '17: IUI#4, BFN IVF sometime this summer
Post by fikafairy67 on May 19, 2017 22:29:35 GMT -5
Can someone give the cliff notes version of what happened and how it sparked this potential exodus? Despite reading a handful of the pages in the big post and "the talk" I don't think I have a good understanding of what happened since I don't stray anywhere besides here and LTL anymore after leaving the BMB I started with.
I will move with everyone too, I don't really hide on FB. I just am very, very confused. The only thing I keep seeing is people are asking the mods for things with no reply, and someone else was de-modded for unclear reasons. I don't think I understand the connection between that and apocalypse.
Can someone give the cliff notes version of what happened and how it sparked this potential exodus? Despite reading a handful of the pages in the big post and "the talk" I don't think I have a good understanding of what happened since I don't stray anywhere besides here and LTL anymore after leaving the BMB I started with.
I will move with everyone too, I don't really hide on FB. I just am very, very confused. The only thing I keep seeing is people are asking the mods for things with no reply, and someone else was de-modded for unclear reasons. I don't think I understand the connection between that and apocalypse.
I'm not so good with explaining this stuff. Maybe daisy818 or ******
Post by gabride2010 on May 20, 2017 0:14:35 GMT -5
@eliida, thank you for pointing me to that thread.
Holy whoa! I don't know Naria, but I wouldn't want to believe that anyone on any of these boards would purposefully be that manipulative and malicious. Oh my goodness!
Saw RE 1/11/17 HSG x 2 - 2nd revealed both tubes open and arcuate uterus Cycle #1-2 Femara 5mg + TI = Cancelled - poor response Cycle #3 - Femara 7.5mg and Dex 0.5mg - another poor response - waiting to see when I O
Can someone give the cliff notes version of what happened and how it sparked this potential exodus? Despite reading a handful of the pages in the big post and "the talk" I don't think I have a good understanding of what happened since I don't stray anywhere besides here and LTL anymore after leaving the BMB I started with.
I will move with everyone too, I don't really hide on FB. I just am very, very confused. The only thing I keep seeing is people are asking the mods for things with no reply, and someone else was de-modded for unclear reasons. I don't think I understand the connection between that and apocalypse.
Grad warning: www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/143893/read This thread has a bit about the unfair mod denounce of Ketchup. Naria then came out with "receipts" that were laughable. This is the straw that broke the camels back.
Rewind to Earlier this week there was a thread made about the state of the forum/website. Some ladies were mad that the business plan hasn't been acted on and we're not getting new traffic. So that was the beginning of this all, but then admin came to the thread with a lot of posts that upset people and showed they didn't care about posters. Admin was gaslighting and making hurtful statements. Some IF ladies then brought up the ketchup situation (which happened months ago) because it had similar undertones of admin not giving a shit. Admin has been very sparse in responding to the concerns/complaints but jumped to once again try and smear ketchups name and is back to being quiet.
I hope this helps. The "let's have the talk" thread is where the ketchup crazy shit went down. Start on page 26 and you can skim pretty quickly to the crazy parts.
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
Please read page 26 of the "The Talk" thread as it directly relates to our IF community and may influence some of your decisions.
Personally, this sealed it for me. I hope that you guys will have me on facebook. I don't want to lose you, but I'm not comfortable here.
tl;dr - Eye roll. Take that page with a pound of salt.
I wasn't going to get into this, but since the condiment is using her sob story to try and sabotage the IF boards specifically I will share some things. I was on these boards before, during, and after ketchup's "reign," and I can say unequivocally that she ruined these boards for a lot of people. As an old-guard IFer, I can name easily 10+ former users off-hand that I'm FB friends with who left specifically bc of her and the culture she and her crew brought to the boards, and there are many other old guard folks who disappeared around that time and I suspect for the same reasons. I would call that culture very snarky and Mean Girl - exactly what the IF boards are not supposed to be, but of course it was only directed at people she and her crew didn't like, so many people didn't experience her this way. My personal interactions with her have been 100% negative. I also know she used her mod positions in ways that were experienced as bullying to some, and there were people who got scared about what she might do with knowledge of their IRL identities via FB. I obviously can't say that was a legitimate fear, but I will say I get the worry. ETA the e.g.: she's using the decision to demod her to try and bring down this whole fucking forum. How's that for spiteful and vindictive?
I'm not going to engage in a "Yes she in!" "No she's not" argument with anyone (so don't bother trying to get me into one on this thread), but I will say there is a large contingent of IF folks who thought the de-modding was a fantastic move. Note: I had zero personal involvement in it, so I don't know the exact series of events that led to it, but I will say the admins knew of everything I wrote above, from multiple sources. I do NOT for one second trust ketchup to be honest or self-reflective about any of it, as I have seen her dishonesty multiple times before.
I haven't read page 26 yet, but I won't be following to FB because I'm not on FB. If you end up going there but not SM, please consider PMing me your email so we call stay in touch some other way.
State/Forum recap: apparently a discussion in Parenting brought up the lack of new posters, so they started talking about how to get more posters. Admin thought a content-driven site was the way to go, but didn't have one that was good. Posters offered ideas and expertise. Admin disappeared. Many people noted the many times Admin did this kind of stuff. People got heated in both sides and said harsh things. Potential migration was discussed with us mentioning a need to find places for 3T and Loss. Scary Mommy accommodated (work in progress)
"The Talk" recap: people were discussing whether they really wanted to go to SM, stay, or offer another option. Admin continued to say nothing until they eventually said "whatev, go". Ketchup finally found out what mods were told about her as the reason to demod. Everyone got enraged. Naria came in saying she wasn't lying, here's proof (with "proof" that made no sense). Oh, and apparently all mods have lost mod powers presently.
I was coming over to make sure you guys saw what went down on page 26. I've requested my content be deleted, so someone quote me quick please since I have no clue when that will happen.
ETA And maybe I should delete this now? Or keep it here for the recaps?... Chaos, I'm sorry.
Please read page 26 of the "The Talk" thread as it directly relates to our IF community and may influence some of your decisions.
Personally, this sealed it for me. I hope that you guys will have me on facebook. I don't want to lose you, but I'm not comfortable here.
tl;dr - Eye roll. Take that page with a pound of salt.
I wasn't going to get into this, but since the condiment is using her sob story to try and sabotage the IF boards specifically I will share some things. I was on these boards before, during, and after ketchup's "reign," and I can say unequivocally that she ruined these boards for a lot of people. As an old-guard IFer, I can name easily 10+ former users off-hand that I'm FB friends with who left specifically bc of her and the culture she and her crew brought to the boards, and there are many other old guard folks who disappeared around that time and I suspect for the same reasons. I would call that culture very snarky and Mean Girl - exactly what the IF boards are not supposed to be, but of course it was only directed at people she and her crew didn't like, so many people didn't experience her this way. My personal interactions with her have been 100% negative. I also know she used her mod positions in ways that were experienced as bullying to some, and there were people who got scared about what she might do with knowledge of their IRL identities via FB. I obviously can't say that was a legitimate fear, but I will say I get the worry. ETA the e.g.: she's using the decision to demod her to try and bring down this whole fucking forum. How's that for spiteful and vindictive?
I'm not going to engage in a "Yes she in!" "No she's not" argument with anyone (so don't bother trying to get me into one on this thread), but I will say there is a large contingent of IF folks who thought the de-modding was a fantastic move. Note: I had zero personal involvement in it, so I don't know the exact series of events that led to it, but I will say the admins knew of everything I wrote above, from multiple sources. I do NOT for one second trust ketchup to be honest or self-reflective about any of it, as I have seen her dishonesty multiple times before.
Interesting. There's definitely something fishy about all of this and I'm not buying the whole innocent victim thing she's pushing. I'm at least willing to hear Naria's response before I go deleting my account.
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
ProfessorChaos, thanks for chiming in. The fact that no one I recognize from the IF boards was chiming in on the main thread was a little suspicious to me, but I figured it was because I'm still relatively new on this side and don't recognize many of the grads yet. The Ketchup thing went down before I had moved here, so I don't really know what to believe.
Post by fikafairy67 on May 20, 2017 8:28:44 GMT -5
ProfessorChaos that's interesting, I was getting some of that vibe too, but honestly I had no idea about any of the details.
I started at 26 this morning and read through a few pages, but honestly nothing is making me feel like OMGMUSTLEAVE. I have literally no stake in that whole thing, and personally don't care that much about a bunch of people threatening to leave a board I don't ever go on.
The only concern I have is this site getting shut down before having a backup plan to connect with the rest of you. Can someone tag me if plans start being made for that?
fikafairy67, I know some of us have made accounts over on SM just in case. They have added Infertility and Loss forums, so while I'm still not 100% sure it's the right fit, it's at least not totally off-putting anymore. If nothing else, we can meet there and figure out a plan from there.
Please read page 26 of the "The Talk" thread as it directly relates to our IF community and may influence some of your decisions.
Personally, this sealed it for me. I hope that you guys will have me on facebook. I don't want to lose you, but I'm not comfortable here.
tl;dr - Eye roll. Take that page with a pound of salt.
I wasn't going to get into this, but since the condiment is using her sob story to try and sabotage the IF boards specifically I will share some things. I was on these boards before, during, and after ketchup's "reign," and I can say unequivocally that she ruined these boards for a lot of people. As an old-guard IFer, I can name easily 10+ former users off-hand that I'm FB friends with who left specifically bc of her and the culture she and her crew brought to the boards, and there are many other old guard folks who disappeared around that time and I suspect for the same reasons. I would call that culture very snarky and Mean Girl - exactly what the IF boards are not supposed to be, but of course it was only directed at people she and her crew didn't like, so many people didn't experience her this way. My personal interactions with her have been 100% negative. I also know she used her mod positions in ways that were experienced as bullying to some, and there were people who got scared about what she might do with knowledge of their IRL identities via FB. I obviously can't say that was a legitimate fear, but I will say I get the worry. ETA the e.g.: she's using the decision to demod her to try and bring down this whole fucking forum. How's that for spiteful and vindictive?
I'm not going to engage in a "Yes she in!" "No she's not" argument with anyone (so don't bother trying to get me into one on this thread), but I will say there is a large contingent of IF folks who thought the de-modding was a fantastic move. Note: I had zero personal involvement in it, so I don't know the exact series of events that led to it, but I will say the admins knew of everything I wrote above, from multiple sources. I do NOT for one second trust ketchup to be honest or self-reflective about any of it, as I have seen her dishonesty multiple times before.
Thank you for presenting the other side of the story.
I would like to hear @ketchup's thoughts about this. Is the information quoted above true?
Saw RE 1/11/17 HSG x 2 - 2nd revealed both tubes open and arcuate uterus Cycle #1-2 Femara 5mg + TI = Cancelled - poor response Cycle #3 - Femara 7.5mg and Dex 0.5mg - another poor response - waiting to see when I O
ProfessorChaos that's interesting, I was getting some of that vibe too, but honestly I had no idea about any of the details.
I started at 26 this morning and read through a few pages, but honestly nothing is making me feel like OMGMUSTLEAVE. I have literally no stake in that whole thing, and personally don't care that much about a bunch of people threatening to leave a board I don't ever go on.
The only concern I have is this site getting shut down before having a backup plan to connect with the rest of you. Can someone tag me if plans start being made for that?
Honestly, for me, the most off putting thing about all of this is how some IF/Loss peeps were being attacked at the end of the SOTF thread. It gets seriously nasty and I want no part of that crew. Major TW in case anyone decides to check it out. It's not worth it though, it's really awful.
Last Edit: May 20, 2017 9:41:58 GMT -5 by lilsneezy
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
ProfessorChaos that's interesting, I was getting some of that vibe too, but honestly I had no idea about any of the details.
I started at 26 this morning and read through a few pages, but honestly nothing is making me feel like OMGMUSTLEAVE. I have literally no stake in that whole thing, and personally don't care that much about a bunch of people threatening to leave a board I don't ever go on.
The only concern I have is this site getting shut down before having a backup plan to connect with the rest of you. Can someone tag me if plans start being made for that?
Honestly, for me, the most off putting thing about all of this is how some IF/Loss peeps were being attacked at the end of the SOTF thread. It gets seriously nasty and I want no part of that crew. Major TW in case anyone decides to check it out. It's not worth it though, it's really awful.
Now see, I can't get on board with anyone attacking IF/loss- that's my home. Those are my people. Who was attacking these communities? I can't with being triggered right now, so can I get some cliff notes?
Honestly, for me, the most off putting thing about all of this is how some IF/Loss peeps were being attacked at the end of the SOTF thread. It gets seriously nasty and I want no part of that crew. Major TW in case anyone decides to check it out. It's not worth it though, it's really awful.
Now see, I can't get on board with anyone attacking IF/loss- that's my home. Those are my people. Who was attacking these communities? I can't with being triggered right now, so can I get some cliff notes?
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
I've read a little of both threads but not much. The whole thing just seems a little crazy but I don't know the backstory so I don't know why it's bringing out such strong reactions.
As many of you have said, I just want to stay connected with you all. I made a profile on SM just in case but I haven't used it yet.
Jan '13: TI w/letrozole, BFP, DS born Oct '13 Dec '15: IUI#1, BFN Jan '16: Cancelled IUI (too many follicles) Feb '16: IUI#2, BFP, DS2 stillborn June'16 @22 weeks We love you baby boy! Aug '16: D&C for retained placenta Oct '16: Removal of interuterine adhesions Jan '17: IUI#3 No ovulation?!? Feb '17: IUI#4, BFN IVF sometime this summer
I go offline a day and everything implodes!?! I have seriously missed some significant goings-on. I have no real idea what to think, even after reading this thread. All I know is I followed folks over here when TB imploded. I had been over there through the start of my IF journey and was so grateful to continue that journey here. But we left folks behind that I still wonder about. Starting over here was hard, but the support I got here and the folks I "met" here made the journey more bearable. My DH has heard so many stories and followed everyone's journeys with me. I know I do not post much anymore because, well, life, but I come here everyday to check in on the IF ladies and loss ladies. I am not the kind of person to wear my emotions on my virtual sleeve, I have not extended relationships outside of this group (real life or FB) but you all mean more to me than you will ever know. If this group goes away, I will lose you. The thought of that breaks my heart. That is all I really know right now.
*************Siggy Warning.************ Me: 39, DH:39 Married 4/2010, TTC since 7/2011. Dx: Officially Unexplained 6 IUIs, all BFN IVF#1 March 2014 31R/21F, 1 transferred, 12 Frosties. BFN FET #1 May 2014. 2 transferred. BFP! MMC. D&C 8/1/14 FET #2 November 2014. 3 transferred. BFN IVF #2 w/PGS ER 1/23, 16R/8F + 4 NEF, 8 made it to blast & sent out for PGS. 4 Normals!!! FET #3 2 transferred 3/23/15. BFP! Betas 4/6: 1662! 4/13: 18775!! It's twins!!
Saw RE 1/11/17 HSG x 2 - 2nd revealed both tubes open and arcuate uterus Cycle #1-2 Femara 5mg + TI = Cancelled - poor response Cycle #3 - Femara 7.5mg and Dex 0.5mg - another poor response - waiting to see when I O
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