Rant **warnings**

[DrHooch]

living child warnings...

The woman who runs the daycare my son goes to has been bugging me about having another child. It was annoying at first, now that we are trying (and failing) it is starting to become upsetting. I called today to confirm that they are open next week, and she starts talking to me about how my son is going to move up to the toddler room soon and how he's becoming a little man. Then she says "you need to have another!" I responded with "if only it were that easy." She took that to mean that having two would be difficult (which, sure, but that wasn't what I meant) and proceeded to spend 10 minutes telling me about how it was easier for her when her two daughters were younger because they were close in age than it is now having just one young son. Woman, stfu. 

[bananas22]

That's the worst. I think the hardest part of secondary IF has been seeing the age gap between my son (who is 3.5) and a future sibling getting bigger and bigger. ((Hugs)). I'm sorry you had to deal with that. 😢

[bootsorhearts]

**grad warning**

That is frustrating! If you're comfortable doing so, I would share the fact that you're struggling with IF. It will almost certainly make her lay off you. And best of all, it may keep her from doing the same thing to someone else who is in the same position.

I have had one or two people make offhanded comments like that, and I mostly just brushed it off but I can see how being pestered over and over would be really annoying.

I guess some people just assume if you've had one you can easily have more. If only!

[bonzo2012]

It's so irritating how random people feel the need to weigh in on everybody's reproductive plans.

A couple weeks ago, I met a friend of our neighbors'. He asked if we had kids, and I replied "not yet." He responded with "in the works?" Um, ok man I've just met. Not going to go into my personal business with you! My neighbor at least did look a bit embarrassed that his friend asked that.

[DrHooch]

May 30, 2017 12:47:17 GMT -5 bonzo2012 said:

It's so irritating how random people feel the need to weigh in on everybody's reproductive plans.

A couple weeks ago, I met a friend of our neighbors'. He asked if we had kids, and I replied "not yet." He responded with "in the works?" Um, ok man I've just met. Not going to go into my personal business with you! My neighbor at least did look a bit embarrassed that his friend asked that.

"Well, we just had sex this morning, so maybe! Thanks for asking!"

[DrHooch]

May 30, 2017 12:27:45 GMT -5 bootsorhearts said:

**grad warning**

That is frustrating! If you're comfortable doing so, I would share the fact that you're struggling with IF. It will almost certainly make her lay off you. And best of all, it may keep her from doing the same thing to someone else who is in the same position.

I have had one or two people make offhanded comments like that, and I mostly just brushed it off but I can see how being pestered over and over would be really annoying.

I guess some people just assume if you've had one you can easily have more. If only!

If we weren't switching daycares in a week I might. Also, I have a feeling she'd be someone who would tell me about how it's God's plan and then I'd have to punch her.

[bootsorhearts]

May 30, 2017 12:56:34 GMT -5 DrHooch said:

May 30, 2017 12:47:17 GMT -5 bonzo2012 said:

It's so irritating how random people feel the need to weigh in on everybody's reproductive plans.

A couple weeks ago, I met a friend of our neighbors'. He asked if we had kids, and I replied "not yet." He responded with "in the works?" Um, ok man I've just met. Not going to go into my personal business with you! My neighbor at least did look a bit embarrassed that his friend asked that.

"Well, we just had sex this morning, so maybe! Thanks for asking!"

Yup that's what I would say. "I think I ovulated this month, my cervical mucus was really favorable so keep your fingers crossed!"

[bonzo2012]

May 30, 2017 12:56:34 GMT -5 DrHooch said:

May 30, 2017 12:47:17 GMT -5 bonzo2012 said:

It's so irritating how random people feel the need to weigh in on everybody's reproductive plans.

A couple weeks ago, I met a friend of our neighbors'. He asked if we had kids, and I replied "not yet." He responded with "in the works?" Um, ok man I've just met. Not going to go into my personal business with you! My neighbor at least did look a bit embarrassed that his friend asked that.

"Well, we just had sex this morning, so maybe! Thanks for asking!"

Seriously, what kind of answer was he even expecting?!

I think I actually mumbled something like "we'll see"

[ProfessorChaos]

I confess I was one of those people who nagged a couple of close married couples about when they were going to have kids. I think karma has paid me back a little too heartily, but I do feel shitty about it, so maybe the payback was appropriate.

So sorry you've had to deal with that. It's so not cool, and she deserved a TP.

[DrHooch]

May 31, 2017 12:41:34 GMT -5 ProfessorChaos said:

I confess I was one of those people who nagged a couple of close married couples about when they were going to have kids. I think karma has paid me back a little too heartily, but I do feel shitty about it, so maybe the payback was appropriate.

So sorry you've had to deal with that. It's so not cool, and she deserved a TP.

To me there is a difference between asking (or nagging) close friends and asking (or nagging) someone you barely know, though.

But no, you still don't even come close to deserving this.

[ProfessorChaos]

May 31, 2017 13:38:21 GMT -5 DrHooch said:

To me there is a difference between asking (or nagging) close friends and asking (or nagging) someone you barely know, though.

Haha, true!

[dancerspose]

**Grad Warning**

How unbelievably rude and insensitive. Why do people think it's ok to comment on others family planning regardless of the situation! Such a pet peeve of mine, and I've been known to put people in their place when they won't let it go.

[hoosiermama76]

TW: Living child mentioned

As someone struggling with secondary infertility, it happens to me all the time. I hate seeing the gap grow with my DD, which would be nearly 4 if this IVF works in July. I'm glad you mentioned this because secondary infertility has its own pain. And I would have probably said that I am going through infertility treatments and that you have already considered that a sibling is needed.

[scarlett9999]

hi there. how are you? that was really weird. such emotionless people. they don't even understand what others might be going through. I'm really sorry you had to go through this. ill pray for you. may you get another baby soon. what to try IVF or surrogacy? if naturally conceiving is being difficult for you. try opting for alternatives. sending you baby dust. take care. lots of love to your son. keep me updated. don't worry. stay strong.

[monika]

Hey, there I hope you're doing well. I can totally understand how it feels. Certain people just don't get how sensitive these issues are. I remember recently a stranger asked me how many children I have. He then asked me where I take them out for co-curriculum activities. I honestly, started feeling so sad. I have been now TTC for about 6 years now. With each year it gets so difficult because I love children. However, the fact that nothing is really in my hand makes me feel so helpless. On top of everything when people start asking you questions like these, it gets so difficult. They will never understand our feelings because they themselves have not been through it. One of the reasons I visit these forums is because at least people here can relate to you and don't ask stupid questions. I literally prefer spending more time in my fertility clinic than elsewhere. Anyways, thanks for the post it allowed me to rant as well. I was feeling quite under weather today.

[mindykeller]

What the hell. How can she force you like this? I hate these kinds of people. Why can't they mind their own business? You should have asked her to mind own business. She has no right to poke her nose. It is your life. She should give birth. If she is so desperate. These people dont realize. What others are going through. It triggers depression most of the times. They need to realize this. I just hope she stops irritating you. Good luck with her.

[cerys]

how are you? that was greatly unusual. such emotionless people. they don't appreciate what others may understand. I'm to a great degree dismal you expected to encounter this. debilitated interest to God for you. may you get another newborn child soon? what to endeavour IVF or surrogacy? in case ordinarily envisioning is being troublesome for you. try settling on alternatives. I have been by and by TTC for around 6 years now. With consistently it gets so troublesome in light of the way that I revere kids. I visit these dialogues is in light of the fact that on any occasion people here can relate to you and don't make bonehead request. I really lean toward putting more vitality in my lavishness focus than elsewhere. toll thee well. heaps of love to your youngster. keep me invigorated. make an effort not to pressure. stay strong.