Support by husaband

[salenaj]

Someone asks, “What do you do when your husband doesn’t understand infertility and the hurt that you are going through, or the sense of urgency in trying to get pregnant?” I cried. A lot. I researched obsessively and told him all about it. That’s about it. And let me tell you, it did not work well. For a better answer, I thought I’d have my husband share some of his thoughts. We hope they’re helpful.I want to fully admit there were times I wanted to give up. Infertility is so freaking scary. It is one of the hardest things a couple can go through, and no one ever should tell you (or your husband) that it’s not okay to get really upset.If you’re going through infertility, you can be sure that your husband is hurting a great deal. Despite what our culture says, being a father is a desire that most males have. Any threat to fulfilling that desire is difficult and frightening. Although we don’t always show it, husbands inherently care very deeply for our wives, and we want desperately to “fix” any problems bothering her. But infertility is a problem that we cannot fix on our own. Once you factor in the shame that often accompanies infertility, facing it head-on becomes a very unattractive option for a man.My point is that the lack of urgency and distance may be a natural reaction from your husband to avert the pain, as if it will go away if he ignores it enough. We sometimes irrationally hope that it just might fix itself or that other alternatives will arise in time. This tactic of avoidance obviously doesn’t work, but it’s something we often try.My only advice here for women is to please be patient. Infertility is very painful on an emotional, spiritual and physical level for us men, and it takes time to process the gravity of the situation. If your husband is not taking an active role in supporting you, it may be a defense mechanism. If you truly believe he is not feeling your urgency whatsoever, you need to have a very real and serious conversation with him. You are traveling through a valley together, and it requires all of the both of you.

[sidneywhite]

Sorry to hear about it dear. You are suffering a lot. Pain increases when your better half is not trying to understand your condition. I really feel sorry for you. Being infertile is really painful. It i snot in our hands to have a baby. You are enduring too much pain. First, you need to be strong. Don't lose hope in any condition. Look for the other alternatives. There are many couples who are suffering infertility. IVF and surrogacy are the options for them. try to talk to your partner about it. I recommend you to choose surrogacy. It is not a tiresome process. There are many clinics who will find a good surrogate for us. I personally recommend you Ukraine clinics based on my experience. I am also an infertile. I chose Ukraine clinics. I suffered a lot when i came to know about my infertility. But now i am living happily with my family. I wish you good luck for the decision. Hope to hear good news from you soon.

[monika]

This post was so nicely written. Thank you for the motivation. We all go through infertility in a different way however we all want the same end. We all have different ways through which we deal through traumas. This goes the same way for both husband and wife. Some wives are really good at hiding their feelings while some men are emotionally more expressive. However, because of the gender stereotypes we are forced to behave in a specific manner. It’s also really about how you have been together previously. If from the start of your relation both of you have been sharing your feelings, in times like these things will be a lot easier. However, don’t have expectations because not everyone is the same. We know our partners to the best of our ability, therefore; we should go about the situation in a similar manner. Infertility journey is a really hard one which involves a lot of emotional trauma so stay calm. Sometimes it feels like nothing is working out and it does affect our personal life but honestly, don't let that happen. I am sure things will get better for everyone. Sending baby dust.

[ezabel]

You are right. We just can't fix to be infertile. This is something that could happen to anyone. Not only the women could be at fault. The men could be also infertile. This is the worst thing that could ever happen in happily married life and is strong enough to break someone relationship. I never could imagine someone getting a marriage breakup just because they were infertile or they could not have a baby. I mean who was at fault. This could even happen to you. Then would you blame yourself?. So considering this to be someone's fault is not fair enough? You should understand and support each other in this difficult time. Who won't love children or having a family? So why not to struggle a little for that. Though this is not that little. But you must do whatever you could. You must do each and everything possible to make your family. That's what you deserve. You might face many hurdles. But you have to get through each hurdle. And soon you would have a happy family.

[baila47]

Hi Honey, Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. You are absolutely right at all. This post is very informative for me. I know this is very painful. But for fulfilling the dreams for the baby we have to faces this painful time period. But This is successful only with the support of the partner. Sometimes we did not expect from partner to give a negative behave but this it hurts a lot. So If your partner is with you in very happy and poor tike then you have the best partner. So this is really happening in situations. Anyways Best wishes for all IVF and surrogacy Mothers.GOD Blessed you all.

[lucia]

Hey there. This is a great post. It's so important to have a caring DH. I know I got a lot of support during the time when I miscarried. I was overwhelmed with depression. He got me out of it. Thank you for this post!

[aliza99]

Hey there, How do you do? I am very sad about you. When a woman came to know that she is infertile. She is in deep pain. She needs a support at that time. especially the support love and care from her husband. But it is more bitter when your DH is not understanding you. You are in the situation no one can feel it. I am also unable to give birth to a child. when I came to know about this I was totally fade up. But it was my husband who supports me a lot. He is so caring. he then started searching for alternatives. finally, we got a solution that is surrogacy. you must try for it.

lots of Love and prayers honey.

[alyssa]

hey there! I hope you are doing great. I think TTC can be hard for some women. and during this period what we need is support and love from our partners. husbands should play a positive role, helping, supporting and loving their wife. I was 38 years old when I miscarried first and the second miscarriage was due to an accident. I was devastated and broken, but my husband was really supportive and sweet at the time. he encouraged me to go for surrogacy. surrogacy was a great process for us. we moved to Ukraine for the procedure. and we are really happy that we found an amazing clinic, [DELETED]. they helped us and facilitated us a lot. I am so happy that I went for it. I hope it goes well for everyone, stay blessed.

[martina005]

Hi! I totally agree with you what you have written in this post. Thanks for posting here. Being infertile I can understand your pain. Nobody wants to be infertile it just happens to people. I don't understand why people cant understand that we cant fix to be infertile. Men can also be infertile It is not the women who always be infertile. So husband should support life partner at that time. Well, surrogacy is the great alternative to have children for infertile. I am a mother of the surrogate baby. I recommend every infertile to choose surrogacy for fulfilling their wish of being a mother.

[gerge12]

salenaj I read your whole post. You are looking so tensed and at grief. I am with you. I can imagine at what level you are thinking. Society blame woman for its infertility. Not a single person looks around men’s infertility. Everyone considers its right to do conversation on an infertile woman. I feel upset for those ladies whom husband’s leave them in space. Husband and wife are wheels of a car. If anyone of them doesn’t work properly a car cannot move further. They require each other’s support. They should think about each other. not a wife nor a husband should leva in the time of need. Infertility is not someone’s fate. It is just a disease and science has discovered its solution. Have a solution and live happily.

[mindykeller]

I am sorry to read about all this. It must have been difficult. First to go through all this. Then write it all here. I mean it comes back in flashbacks. You are a very strong person. You have been firm on the whole journey. I am sure you will get rewarded for it. Just keep me updated on what you plan further.

[rosiejames]

Thanking you a lot for sharing your info with us. I totally concur with you in this regard. This post is very informational and motivational for me. I have some idea how much it would be very painful. Your DH is supporting you so you'll definitely get success. It hurts a lot when your husband did not support you unexpectedly. I lost my husbands support just because of following some wrong advice. I was TTC for more than three years but every time I faced failure. That was so much frustrating and disappointing. I wanted a child very badly. So, I contacted a clinic named Adonis Clinic Ukraine online. They told me about their service and all other stuff they offer. We went there and had surrogacy treatment. We were very much hopeful for having a child. They told us that they'll contact us ASAP whenever the surrogate gets pregnant. But after that, we are still waiting for their call. Well, I must say that you'd beware of such scammers. Wishing you a blast of luck!

[karla45]

Hi there how are you? I hope you are fine and in good health. Thanks for sharing this thread here with us. Hope you get good piece of words. You have raised very important point here. Its not just a women thing. Husband needs to know all these things too. They should support their wives in these hard times. We need to spread awareness in this regard. I have seen husbands leaving their wives in these haed times which is so frustrating. People should know this is all natural not just women fault. Thanks for this post. God bless you

[Eric Watson]

Dear Selena! Hope so you are doing good. I just read your post and it made me so sad to know about your condition. It's really an unbearable thing. I can understand how much difficult it is to deal with infertility. I have also suffered from infertility over the past 5 years. Doctors were declared me infertile. I was so embarrassed at that moment. Then I heard about IVF. It was maybe the last option for me to have a baby. I and my DH decided to have it. And this process helped us to make your wish come true. I have a beautiful son. So don't lose hope and keep trying. Happiness will also be waiting for you

[mari1214]

Thank you for sharing such a great post. You have so much courage such a post. I didn't find such a courage in myself. It will be a difficult experience for you. You are sharing such a personal issue with us. My husband left me because I want to go for surrogacy. He tried to convince me that it will not be safe. I was so blind to have a child. That I didn't listen to him. On the basis of someone suggestion. I visited Adonis clinic in Ukraine. They were so good from the outside. They were evil from the inside. They scammed me. They took all my money and ignored my calls. As result, I don't have a child. I don't have my husband. Such decision destroyed my life. I am glad that your man is supporting you. I wish you a very good luck.

[cerys]

This is an informative post. I like such posts. I always look for such posts. Infertility is a painful process. I can understand your feelings. I know its hurting. But science has made such advancements through which alternative means are introduced. By knowing these methods everyone can a child. I like surrogacy. If the husband is supportive then it gives another power to women. But I feel sorry for you. Your DH is not understanding your feelings. He should understand your feelings. And give you full support. I wish he could give you support. And support you in alternate ways. I will pray for you.

[jav]

Hey everyone today I want to discuss my story with you. I was infertile. That breaks me. I was so mad to have a child. That I just randomly visited Adonis clinic in Ukriane. They were the best actors. They were pretending that they are the best. But they were evil from inside. They suggested me IVF. It was all perfect and IVF was successful. Then after a weak, I had a miscarriage. They said it's my fault. We did our well. We can't perform further IVF. They didn't give me my money back. I am so broken. Please anyone can suggest me any good clinic in Ukraine? Please share your success stories with me.

[rosie]

hi, Selena J really true it hurts if no one understands about infertility .and it hurts a lot when even your husband does not support you.there would be no wife who doesn't want to make his husband happy .i believe that husband should understand the situation of his wife. children are indeed a blessing. nowadays infertility is not a big problem. methods like surrogacy are nowadays solution for those facing problems of infertility. I have known of a clinic in Europe.one of my relative went out there .now they are blessed with a beautiful baby girl. but throughout this time her husband support made her feel much better. just think positive .believe in yourself .if u both are together all will be fine at the end. I totally agree with you .silence is not a solution to the problem just talk. my best wishes for all the couples facing this sort of problem. stay happy guys! all will be fine.

[makiharukawa]

Really sorry for what you're going through. I hope everything works out for you in the future. I agree with your statement that husbands suffer a great deal as well when they hear about their wife/girlfriend suffering from infertility. Having children is an absolute dream for everyone. It's no surprise that both parties are extremely upset when they hear of this news. They should both try to find different methods of conceiving in order to achieve their happiness. They have all the right to be upset. However, they should never give up. Making it a goal to Provide yourself with a baby either by surrogacy, adoption or IVF is incredible. And i encourage everyone to try it. Sorry again to all the women and men going through this issue. Best of luck to them and you!

[juliahere]

Hey Selena. How are you doing? Your story reminds me of my days. I know how it feels like going through this situation. It is the worst thing for women. Infertility is something that keeps you remind every second that something is missing in you. I know its difficult to survive. But my dear you have to bare it. I want to share my experience with you. My husband finds a surrogacy as a solution for surrogacy. And unfortunately, we choose the wrong clinic for surrogacy. The clinic name Adonis was the surrogacy centre in Ukraine. When we went up there it was totally changed. All the facilities are not satisfactory to me. I really feel that it is not a place where I want to have my first baby. I refused to have surrogacy there. We came back and after few months we again decided to go for surrogacy and it was a good clinic. And now I am a mother of 2 beautiful children.

[jany21]

Its quite an informational and profitable post. I totally agree with you. Majority of husband doesn't understand this problem. They just want their baby. They don't bother his wife condition. My friend's husband is also one of them. Actually, My friend was infertile. But her husband wants a child. He didn't understand her physical condition. She was very depressed about this. Later she contacted Adonis. She sent them several emails. But they don't bother to reply here. She wanted a child in any condition to save her marriage life. Then she went to Europe for her treatment of IVF. After a long time of struggle. Now she is the mother of the cute baby. I suggest all women. To talk about your infertility problem with their husband and husband should have to understand them.

[marykaycee]

Hey, hope you are doing well. I am so sorry to hear about your story. It is really emotional. Infertility is so hard. I have faced it so long. My husband really supported me all along. I feel lucky to be his wife. We are soon going to start our surrogacy. the clinic we are visiting has higher success rate. So i am so hopeful for it.

[jinnie]

Life is a combination of good and bad incidents and experiences. Infertility is one of these issues. I appreciate if these crises are handled by both husband and wife. Actually, this is the real time when both need each other. I would suggest you take a tern with the surrogacy. It is quite effective and modern way of treatment.

[bella123]

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[latina]

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[hindee]

I am sure it is very painful for them. However, it is even more painful for women. This is because the urge of having a child is a lot more in them. When they are diagnosed with an issue it is so hard for them to go through that pain. It is like they are stuck and don't have any other option. I remember when we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility it shattered me apart. The only support I looked for was my husband's. I am glad I had that because it not easy. He was the one who actually found us a clinic. Things are going well for us. It is never easy but it is important to establish an understanding. Good luck to you. I hope things go smoothly for you. If you need help do let me know. Sending baby your way.

[jennifer123]

Your post made me soo emotional. It is so hard to go through such things. However, it is even more important to stay strong and positive. Make sure that the clinic you visit is operating at a high success rate. They will give you the best advice. They will make sure that they help you out. Therefore, research. Don't give up! Research about the doctors as well. They should know what they are doing. Look at the services they are offering. These should match with their requirements. The clinic I know about offers two packages. The VIP and the standard package. Both of these are reasonable.

[librakatty]

Hi Salena! How are you all doing ladies? I was very tensed when I got to know about the infertile. I can understand your situation Salena, when you are already upset and don't even have the support of your family this thing even make you feel more upset. Well, surrogacy is the best one option I have heard about and I am also motivated towards this option. I am very thankful to God that my husband is very supportive otherwise I am not this much strong like you dear to borne such situation like when I even don't have support while in my infertility. Hope so all the ladies get the bets information here and me too.

[dakota]

Thank you so much for this! It's such an enlightening post. I believe it's really important to have the entire support of your husband. Especially, during such a time. It's also really crucial to remain patient. This is because TTC is something that can take time. So, it requires a lot of patience, and courage to deal with it. Keep up the lovely work!