Psychology Today Article

[CurlieWhirlie]

I'm putting this in its own thread because it's easy to miss at the bottom of one of the intro threads. This is just one article that I've found, there is a lot of writing out there about the particular pressures and challenges faced by step-mothers. It's not that step dads don't have it hard, too, but we as a society set a high bar for a mother's role in the family.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stepmonster/201106/why-its-easier-love-stepfather-stepmother

[CurlieWhirlie]

Yeah that's very true and neither of those things apply to me (only step sons, we have a child together), so I hear you. I think some of the themes are still relevant, though. There's more writing out there like this.

[evenkeeled]

I think the article does hit home for me. I have a stepdaughter and two stepsons. I have a great relationship with the boys, not so much with the daughter. This has been on her reluctance to have much of an interaction with me, which my husband and I have respected her decision and not forced anything.

Their divorce was very acrimonious so there was a lot of negative comments about me/us. The boys see less of a loyalty concern than the daughter does. She was also the older one and a teen at the time (young adult now) so that has played a factor.

I support the kids by supporting the parents' directives, I have my husband lead with them on all disciplinary concerns, etc. and just really take a supporting role. I think it is a little different with them being teens as they are more independent. But I try and do the things that make them happy, we do trips they like and just offer a house that is open to them at all times and is there own.