Ok, I have two today! My mom comes over Saturdays to visit LO while my husband works. She arrived right as we finished a bottle and when he was crying afterwards basically accused me of starving him. I explained that it was his normal amount and his brain just hadn't realized his belly was full yet. Sure enough he stopped crying a minute later. Then he spit up when my mom laid him on his back immediately even though I told her that always makes him spit up and she told me I over fed him. If you need to accuse me of bad parenting please pick one! Second, my husband and I are planning our first big vacation with LO. somehow my FIL got invited to join us for the first 2 days of the 6 days. And it keeps growing. Now he's only leaving one day before us so we have no time to ourselves but my husband won't tell him no. And my FIL was hurt when we booked the last room in a hotel so he has to stay somewhere else. But it was a $350 room for $118 and we are now working with one income so we really needed the discount.
I'm totally there with the whole MIL driving you crazy thing. Their expectations for how much they will see the boy have been causing a lot of resentment for me. This week I finally had a talk that got through to my husband. I had brought it up several times before and he would take care of it, for that one time. We talked about how we need to address the underlying problem because if I start to resent his parents, I'm going to start to resent him and I don't want that to happen. Hopefully it will solve the problem.
It hurts me a little to see how many people dislike their mother in laws though. With a little boy now, I worry that someday my daughter in law will hate me.
I'm totally there with the whole MIL driving you crazy thing. Their expectations for how much they will see the boy have been causing a lot of resentment for me. This week I finally had a talk that got through to my husband. I had brought it up several times before and he would take care of it, for that one time. We talked about how we need to address the underlying problem because if I start to resent his parents, I'm going to start to resent him and I don't want that to happen. Hopefully it will solve the problem.
It hurts me a little to see how many people dislike their mother in laws though. With a little boy now, I worry that someday my daughter in law will hate me.
I was having the same worry as a (verrrrrry distant) future MIL. I do love my MIL, but she can be so overbearing and judgmental, and it really hurts my feelings.
birch113 I keep thinking that I'm learning how to be a better mother in law if I just try not to do the things that annoy me about her. But I look at my boy and think of his future and I hope so much that he marries someone who will let me stay a part of his life.
My MIL is driving me so crazy that I don't even feel sane anymore. My ILs watch LO three days a week while I'm at work, and before I went back, I wrote out a detailed set of guidelines for feeding and taking care of her. As she was never able to BF (adopted) and fed DH goats milk instead, I have spent a lot of time explaining the logistics of everything at their request. Every day I bring an extra bag of milk in case one gets spilled, I get stranded, etc. And at least once a week I remind them not to overfeed LO.
I have been asking DH what happens to the extra bags of milk, since I can never find them in their fridge the next day and was thinking (hoping) they were being frozen. He said today he was pretty sure they just get dumped out. So I asked MIL and it turns out she has been feeding it all to LO every day and dumping whatever she doesn't finish! And when I asked her why she did that today--specifically, making LO drink a 6 OZ BOTTLE--she said "Well, she drank it all!" and I explained to her (for probably the 5th time) why not to do that, she rolled her eyes and chuckled, and said "Alright, alright, gotcha."
I feel like she's purposefully going against my words to make me look like a bitch or a control freak. And who knows, maybe it's just because I am turning into a control freak. I know for a fact that it's making me irrational because I'm starting to feel like I don't even want her to watch LO anymore because of all of the things she does that they all know I don't like. Over feeding my child, leaving her face crusty, leaving her in dirty clothes or putting her in musty not-yet-washed thrift store clothes, picking a hairy paci off the floor and giving it back to her, leaving sticky lip gloss prints all over her... I just can't anymore.
/rant
I don't think you're crazy at all. I would be so pissed about all of that. First of all, pumped milk is freaking liquid gold. I get so upset over any spillage. If someone actively overfed my LOVE and dumped the rest I would lose my poop. All the other stuff is icing on the crap cake. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Can DH say something to her?
Last night I was incredibly anxious about the consequences of her being overfed, so DH asked what I was upset about and when I told him what had happened and he completely understood. He said it was good that I firmly told her and that he'd also remind her how immensely important it was. That made me feel better knowing that he didn't think I was overreacting.
@txaggie08 I don't think you should worry about that kind of thing with daycare. They're all used to having to follow specific instructions and schedules from parents, and can't act on their own bias just because it's how they did things with their own. Actually, as afraid of DCs as I was at first, I am actually enrolling her at one today because of how much more structured and regulated it will be there.
Post by sparkles01 on Feb 24, 2015 11:32:36 GMT -5
Add me to the aggravating MIL club!
Some backstory--When DH and I got engaged, she asked him (while I was in the bathroom when we were out to eat with her and her husband) if he was sure he wanted to marry someone like me...he asked what she meant by that and she fumbled for an answer... he told her (as I was sitting back down at the table ) that he proposed to me because he couldn't imagine spending his life with anyone else, and believes I would be an exceptional wife and wonderful mother to any children we decided to have....
Prior to us ever getting pregnant she told us not to think we would have kids and be able to drop them off there with her to watch... they aren't her kids to have to be "stuck watching"
Now, she makes it a point to remind me that she doesn't like DD's name...i pointed out she got to name both her boys whatever she wanted. At the baptism party the other night she stod over me while LO was crying as I changed her (she was over tired) and asked what I was going to do to quiet her down, said obviously she's hungry and not being fed enough...i told her that I spent 24 hours a day with my daughter, she is fed enough, loved enough and is happy. She then carried went and complained to my husband who had witnessed the exchange... he told her that DD is ours to raise how we see fit and if she doesn't like it to keep her mouth closed.
(Hearing him say that to her reminded me of how much I love him!)
Some backstory--When DH and I got engaged, she asked him (while I was in the bathroom when we were out to eat with her and her husband) if he was sure he wanted to marry someone like me...he asked what she meant by that and she fumbled for an answer... he told her (as I was sitting back down at the table ) that he proposed to me because he couldn't imagine spending his life with anyone else, and believes I would be an exceptional wife and wonderful mother to any children we decided to have....
Prior to us ever getting pregnant she told us not to think we would have kids and be able to drop them off there with her to watch... they aren't her kids to have to be "stuck watching"
Now, she makes it a point to remind me that she doesn't like DD's name...i pointed out she got to name both her boys whatever she wanted. At the baptism party the other night she stod over me while LO was crying as I changed her (she was over tired) and asked what I was going to do to quiet her down, said obviously she's hungry and not being fed enough...i told her that I spent 24 hours a day with my daughter, she is fed enough, loved enough and is happy. She then carried went and complained to my husband who had witnessed the exchange... he told her that DD is ours to raise how we see fit and if she doesn't like it to keep her mouth closed.
(Hearing him say that to her reminded me of how much I love him!)
Some backstory--When DH and I got engaged, she asked him (while I was in the bathroom when we were out to eat with her and her husband) if he was sure he wanted to marry someone like me...he asked what she meant by that and she fumbled for an answer... he told her (as I was sitting back down at the table ) that he proposed to me because he couldn't imagine spending his life with anyone else, and believes I would be an exceptional wife and wonderful mother to any children we decided to have....
Prior to us ever getting pregnant she told us not to think we would have kids and be able to drop them off there with her to watch... they aren't her kids to have to be "stuck watching"
Now, she makes it a point to remind me that she doesn't like DD's name...i pointed out she got to name both her boys whatever she wanted. At the baptism party the other night she stod over me while LO was crying as I changed her (she was over tired) and asked what I was going to do to quiet her down, said obviously she's hungry and not being fed enough...i told her that I spent 24 hours a day with my daughter, she is fed enough, loved enough and is happy. She then carried went and complained to my husband who had witnessed the exchange... he told her that DD is ours to raise how we see fit and if she doesn't like it to keep her mouth closed.
(Hearing him say that to her reminded me of how much I love him!)
No offense but your MIL is a total bitch.
Believe me- I know! No offense taken...my husband tells people he won in the MIL department- my mom is pretty awesome if I do say so myself
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