Teaching DD to be nice to daddy

[shakinros]

DD, 2.5yo, is in a big time mommy phase right now and has been for a couple months. She's fine with DH if it's just them, but if I am anywhere in the house, he is unacceptable. He's handling it about as well as can be expected. It makes him sad but he's trying to brush it off, knowing it's a phase.

Question: how can I teach her to be less mean to him? I feel like it's age appropriate when he says "can I play with you?" For her to say no. That happens. It's a bit much for her to yell "NOOOOOO. no daddy! Go away daddy! You can't play!" And then slam the door in his face. Ouch.

[allydncr]

No words of advice, but it seems like my DD is starting that too. She's always been a wicked mama's girl, and lately anytime he does anything she says no. But then, she seems to like to say no to everything lately!

[penguin129]

Yikes! I'm sorry you and your H are going through this. It sounds tough. Sometimes DD yells "mama, mama" and DH brings her to me. Most of the time she is ok with it. I'm not sure what we will do if this happens. I hope you can get some advice soon. You might want to cross post this on the toddler board too. There are a lot of posters over there and maybe they could help you too.

[TheEleventhHour]

DS has started pushing me away when he is with DH. If they are together and I walk near him he will run over and yell "No mama no!" and push me. We just say "Pushing is not nice. Use your words instead" and he will say "Mama go please" and I go. It sucks when he doesn't want me around. But it is just a phase. I just want him to use manners to tell me to go rather than yelling and pushing so that is what we focus on rather than making him hang out with me if he doesn't want to lol.

[eyenigh]

Feb 24, 2015 19:52:26 GMT -5 shakinros said:

DD, 2.5yo, is in a big time mommy phase right now and has been for a couple months. She's fine with DH if it's just them, but if I am anywhere in the house, he is unacceptable. He's handling it about as well as can be expected. It makes him sad but he's trying to brush it off, knowing it's a phase.

Question: how can I teach her to be less mean to him? I feel like it's age appropriate when he says "can I play with you?" For her to say no. That happens. It's a bit much for her to yell "NOOOOOO. no daddy! Go away daddy! You can't play!" And then slam the door in his face. Ouch.

Add in "I don't like daddy and I need him out of my room" and you have my son. I try to tell him to be nice to daddy and saying those things hurts his feelings but he seems to have very little remorse. It's not personal because he'll be sweet and give hugs 5 minutes later but he gets this mommy only streak in him and just unloads on poor daddy. I know it's terrible but I don't think I'd be able to handle it as well if that was directed at me. 

[shakinros]

Feb 24, 2015 22:21:02 GMT -5 @threegiraffes said:

Hugs. DD went through that phase about a year ago. It was rough on dh but we made it through. We both just kept telling her "be nice to daddy." "Daddy can help, too." She rounded the corner and now claims "daddy is my best friend!"

That's very encouraging! I will read your post to DH next time it happens!

[tonksy]

Feb 24, 2015 22:21:02 GMT -5 @threegiraffes said:

Hugs. DD went through that phase about a year ago. It was rough on dh but we made it through. We both just kept telling her "be nice to daddy." "Daddy can help, too." She rounded the corner and now claims "daddy is my best friend!"

This. DD was a huge mommas girl. We reiterated those type of words hurt daddy's feelings. She is much better now, though she still gets miffed if my night to read to her gets messed up, but never bats an eye if it's Dh's.

[TheEleventhHour]

Feb 25, 2015 9:16:31 GMT -5 @yellowwallpaper12 said:

Feb 24, 2015 22:05:59 GMT -5 eyenigh said:

Add in "I don't like daddy and I need him out of my room" and you have my son. I try to tell him to be nice to daddy and saying those things hurts his feelings but he seems to have very little remorse. It's not personal because he'll be sweet and give hugs 5 minutes later but he gets this mommy only streak in him and just unloads on poor daddy. I know it's terrible but I don't think I'd be able to handle it as well if that was directed at me. 

This is how my son is as well. We tell him that he has to be nice and that Daddy isn't doing anything wrong (because sometimes he yells "No Daddy nooooo!" even if my husband is just walking by)

DS does this to me but only if DH is around. It is sometimes difficult to explain to a toddler that I am not committing any egregious acts by simply walking near him

[helenahhandbasket]

No advice, but I am willing to guess that this is a phase and will soon pass. Hugs -- that sounds hard.

[eyenigh]

Feb 25, 2015 9:30:49 GMT -5 TheEleventhHour said:

Feb 25, 2015 9:16:31 GMT -5 @yellowwallpaper12 said:

This is how my son is as well. We tell him that he has to be nice and that Daddy isn't doing anything wrong (because sometimes he yells "No Daddy nooooo!" even if my husband is just walking by)

DS does this to me but only if DH is around. It is sometimes difficult to explain to a toddler that I am not committing any egregious acts by simply walking near him

The most difficult for me is to not laugh out loud.

[TheEleventhHour]

Feb 25, 2015 11:12:14 GMT -5 eyenigh said:

Feb 25, 2015 9:30:49 GMT -5 TheEleventhHour said:

DS does this to me but only if DH is around. It is sometimes difficult to explain to a toddler that I am not committing any egregious acts by simply walking near him

The most difficult for me is to not laugh out loud.

Oh, definitely. The other day DS was just being so ridiculous about everything that I had to excuse myself from the room to laugh. 

[BostonKisses]

I went through this, except it was turned on me and MH is the one she wanted. The phase cycled back, and recently she's been doing it to me again.

The good news is it really is a phase, and it will switch. Right now she's all about you, but at some point your H is going to be the preferred one. IDK if it's common for it to cycle with all kids, because I second guess a lot of things my kid's doing right now because of some other issues going on. Anyway, to stop the slamming her door in his face thing, I'd keep reminding her that it's ok to say no, but she needs to be nice about it, and model an appropriate response.

[sahara78]

DD is also 2.5 and she definitely prefers me to DH. We've tried to get him to spend more 1-1 time with her and also do more caring for her when we are both home. (DH has a commute, so DD & I have time alone together in the AM & PM.) It is getting a bit better. She just yells "No, Atlas, no!!" at our dog instead of the old "No, Daddy, no!!"

[sandandsea]

When DS gets like that we just tell him, "No, you need to be nice to daddy/mommy. You made him/her sad. We don't say mean things." Then, he usually quickly changes his tone and is nicer. And when he's in a daddy phase, I sit back and enjoy the break.

[Deleted]

My DS is a total Mama's boy, and is often mean to DH. It gets better when they spend more 1 on 1 time together. And we are coaching him on how to ask more nicely for Daddy to leave him alone, or say, "Mama please" (instead of "NO DADDY!!!"). I also make a point to show affection to DH when DS is observing, and try to remember to sing songs about how Daddy loves us and we love him.
I'm sure it's rough for DH, and we haven't cycled to a different phase yet, but I know it will come soon enough. Maybe when he's a big boy and doesn't want his dorky mom around or something.