Relationship with birth parent

[CurlieWhirlie]

It's really great that you can rise above the back-biting and be polite and communicate openly for the benefit of your SD. My relationship with my SK's BM is very polite and even friendly when we do interact, and I have often thought that we might communicate better than she and DH do, but I do not take on the role that you are describing for yourself — I leave it up to BM and DH to communicate about their kids.

Similarly, my DH and BD get along very well, they are friendly, but they don't communicate in the way you're describing about my son's schedule or daily stuff, that is up to me and BD to handle.

It sounds like, in your situation, both BM and your DH can be kind of childish, so it's good that you're able to be that dis-interested third party.

[miraclebbye]

I wish our situation was this easy!

If I am with DSS and its a school function she didn't attend I will politely send her pictures thru text. She never reciprocates the favor to us. BM will only communicate in person with DH or I if we are in public and her new DH isn't around. She will pretend she likes us for the show if she's alone. If her DH is there, she will stand as far away as she can and pretend we don't exist. If we attempt to speak to her about DSS at all she either rolls her eyes and walks away, or says something passive aggressive to try getting my DH worked up. ALL other communication is done thru email, and 98% of the time she doesn't respond. She's all for the public bashing of my DH on Facebook to anyone who will listen and comment even though she never actually tells the truth about why they are disagreeing.

Its a terrible situation.

[kudlica]

I am just a lurker on this board… I am currently pregnant so the birth board alone has kept me busy. However, this morning I had the chance to wander over here, and I am happy I did. It's nice to know that I am not alone!

@littlefoote, my DH also gets irritated when BM and I talk. I am polite, and its always about my SS, but they cannot get along. He did admit the other day that is probably a good thing that we talk, because it keeps communication open. She asked me to go to coffee one day soon, which really upset him. He thinks its some big plan, but I think she just wants to talk. This is all fairly new (we have only been married 3 months) AND we are about to add a baby to the mix which will effect SS (who is only 2 1/2). I try to be like you, its all about SS (or in your case SD.) I think thats the important part. I have been a daycare worker/ preschool teacher (over a decade) and now an elementary teacher, and it always works better when the parents put the child first.

[evenkeeled]

I don't have any real relationship with the kid's mom. That is handled through my husband and since they are teens it isn't warranted as much.There divorce was a rough one and things are polite but strained.

[bliz1712]

Feb 27, 2015 7:23:53 GMT -5 @nedralynn said:

We actually get along very well typically. I don't always agree with her choices and get frustrated with her but we do get along. It wasn't always this way though. She had a baby in august 13 weeks early and he has been what has brought us all together.

This is basically us.  I definitely don't agree with a lot of her choices or more importantly her priorities, but when we are together we get along.  We have been able to go to SD's tournaments and we've gotten along really well.  The turning point for us was when she moved out of town and couldn't walk all over us.  We get SD all the time and like some others mentioned it depends on her schedule as to whether she will take extra time or sometimes even see her.  It's not uncommon for SD to go a month or more without seeing her.  Snapchat and face time has at least allowed them to see each other and it's a way for her to stay in touch with her older half sister.