CIO with check in's question

[DVMmomma]

This probably belongs in the sleep thread but I wanted as many opinions as possible. For those of you who did the modified CIO or whatever it's called where you check in and comfort LO at 5 minute intervals (or whatever time lapse you pick) do you stick to the clock pretty closely? I ask because LO is currently in the midst of her 5am wake up and I'm trying CIO with 5 minute check ins but she seems to keep somewhat calming herself (but then getting worked up again) so I keep holding off on going in because it sometimes seem like
I work her up more by checking on her. But the last thing I want is her feeling like I abandoned her. Ugh. I hate it all.

[weeklyplanner]

I had to stop all checks because seeing us made his crying worse. But, he was relatively simple to sleep train, so it's not like he was crying for hours. If I remember correctly, I went in once at 5 min and he flipped out, so I gave it 10 min and he started to fuss and I decided not to go in. I think it was 22 min total and he was asleep for the night and didn't wake until morning.

I did read somewhere that the checks (ferber, etc.) are actually more for the parent to feel less guilty. Supposedly they do nothing for the child since you aren't picking them up, nursing, singing or whatever it is the baby "wants." I don't know how true that is though.

[DVMmomma]

Jan 18, 2015 7:14:43 GMT -5 weeklyplanner said:

I had to stop all checks because seeing us made his crying worse. But, he was relatively simple to sleep train, so it's not like he was crying for hours. If I remember correctly, I went in once at 5 min and he flipped out, so I gave it 10 min and he started to fuss and I decided not to go in. I think it was 22 min total and he was asleep for the night and didn't wake until morning.

I did read somewhere that the checks (ferber, etc.) are actually more for the parent to feel less guilty. Supposedly they do nothing for the child since you aren't picking them up, nursing, singing or whatever it is the baby "wants." I don't know how true that is though.

That makes sense. Once we hit an hour, we had to pick her up. I hope that didn't make all the crying for nothing. We bounced her a bit and I didn't nurse as usually would so there's somthing j guess.

[daisylola11]

I have done this for naps but not night times yet but yes I didn't go by the clock every time because like you I could hear him calming down. Sometimes I more so based it on how "hard" he's crying. If he works himself up too much he can't calm down by himself after that.

Luckily I have the crib placed where just cracking the door open I can see him and that's how I check on him before going in.

It's taken a week and even still he sometimes won't go back to sleep but I notice he is getting it when I sometimes just put the paci back in and leave the room.

Good luck!! It's hard but LO will get use to it, they're smart

[Chrisse]

We (I) set a twenty minute period, which was hard but I have only ever had to comfort once. She'll usually cry/fuss for about 17 minutes and then be out cold. I did let her go beyond the twenty minute mark a few times because I could tell she was winding down.

[acarpediem]

I keep trying CIO and my LO just can not seem to calm down or self soothe. I'm guessing he's not ready or I'm a wuss. Do you guys think I should keep going or give it a break?

[skylark002]

Give it a break. It'll just make lo cry longer the next time if you give in. We did gradually longer breaks unless he was settling down. I followed the clock pretty closely. 3 5 7 9 the first night, then 5 7 9 11 the second, etc.

[DVMmomma]

acarpediem, how long are you going before "giving up"?

[acarpediem]

We would do 10 min checks but after an hour we gave in.

[DVMmomma]

Jan 19, 2015 11:34:16 GMT -5 acarpediem said:

We would do 10 min checks but after an hour we gave in.

I gave in after an hour too and I still think it helped. It seems like she suddenly can put herself to sleep and our nap durations have doubled from 45 minutes to around 2 hours. The only thing I'll say is that someone once told me that to let them cry and then nurse them at the end anyway was cruel. I don't know if I would go so far as to say "cruel" but I do think there's something to that and it's helped me to keep from coping out and nursing because I know it'll work quickly. When we gave in, we bounced her until she was just about back to sleep and then set her down again to finish falling asleep on her own.


I would still keep trying but keep doing what feels right to you in the moment. Even though in my experience, it sucks. It all sucks. And my kid's still not STTN so maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about. 

[skylark002]

I gave in again and again last night because he just wouldn't stop. So, for the record, I also have no idea what I'm talking about.

[jamjoyful]

We stuck to the clock pretty closely for two nights. Last night, I gave in. Tonight, I stuck with the clock for 5 minute waits but she was out in 9 minutes. She woke up again 15 minutes after falling asleep so I decided to nurse her. I'm really just not comfortable with how her voice sounds.

[acarpediem]

I think all of you ladies are putting in great effort and I really hope you yield success soon!

[gingy]

I haven't tried CIO at all because I just don't think my LO is there yet. But in the event we ever do, what do you do if they don't ever go to sleep? How long do the 5/10/whatever minute checks go on before you throw the towel in? I just picture us doing this until daybreak lol.

[skylark002]

Jan 20, 2015 17:41:40 GMT -5 gingy said:

I haven't tried CIO at all because I just don't think my LO is there yet. But in the event we ever do, what do you do if they don't ever go to sleep? How long do the 5/10/whatever minute checks go on before you throw the towel in? I just picture us doing this until daybreak lol.

I think the longest I would go is 1.5 hours. But that's just me. I think you are supposed to go as long as it takes. You will be surprised by how short it can be. Lo took 45 to fall asleep the first time, and I could tell he was sick of crying around 20 minutes because he got kind of wimpery and started fussing more than crying.

[cdseno]

I don't do check ins because it makes him more mad. I will let him cry 15 minutes at nap time before I decide he wasn't ready. At night my limit would probably be 20 minutes if it was the first time I put him down. If he wakes MOTN the odds of him fussing back to sleep are slim so I just give in. I will never sleep.

[jamjoyful]

Jan 20, 2015 17:41:40 GMT -5 gingy said:

I haven't tried CIO at all because I just don't think my LO is there yet. But in the event we ever do, what do you do if they don't ever go to sleep? How long do the 5/10/whatever minute checks go on before you throw the towel in? I just picture us doing this until daybreak lol.

I, also, max out at 1.5 hours. We have never gotten that far. The first night was about 1 hr 15 minutes but there was a 20 min break in there. After that, the most has been 18 minutes but it is usually between 4-5.