things you never thought you would say

[fishbulb]

Yesterday morning I had J with me in the bathroom while I brushed my teeth. I look over and he has pulled himself up using the toilet and is gnawing on the roll of toilet paper. As I told him "Quit chewing on the toilet paper" it occurred to me that I never imagined that I would have to utter that phrase. What weird or funny things have you caught yourself saying now that our LOs are into everything?

[bsouls]

"Let me smell your butt."

[g33kyg1rly]

No climbing in the dishwasher

[yalllow]

"Could you please try to refrain from playing 'Where's Waldo' with your penis as I clean up your massive blow out? Thanks."


Edit: sentence fail. 

[yalllow]

"I'm going to have to ask you to put that tampon wrapper down." 

[karebear]

Let me clean your pee pee before you touch it.

[kewii]

"Stop trying to play with your poop."

[fish8412]

Feb 27, 2015 1:10:55 GMT -5 fishbulb said:

Yesterday morning I had J with me in the bathroom while I brushed my teeth. I look over and he has pulled himself up using the toilet and is gnawing on the roll of toilet paper. As I told him "Quit chewing on the toilet paper" it occurred to me that I never imagined that I would have to utter that phrase. What weird or funny things have you caught yourself saying now that our LOs are into everything?

My LO loves toilet paper right now. She unravels it and makes a mess but I don't care because it's easy clean up.

[nattybumppo]

fish8412 - another entertainment device is a box of tissues. I let DD1 empty a box once and it was the best $1, one time entertainment ever. (I don't know if you are, um, reusing the TP your LO plays with, but I threw out all the tissues.) However, I have since made the game re-usable by stuffing the tissue box full of silky scarves, bandanas, handkerchiefs, and other fabric strips to pull out.

Today I got to tell LO "Get Daddy's underwear (used! ugh!) out of your mouth!" Ah, when kids discover the laundry pile on the floor....

[angelsnight]

MH: why is she crying? Me: she was trying to lick the cabinet but smacked her face into it instead

[Deleted]

Really there is so much "go to your room to play with your penis" or "dont bend your penis like that" or "Youre going to hurt your penis" or "thats not what your penis is meant for"

Penis used to make me cringe. Now its a household name- and vagina is a cringe word... weird..

[Deleted]

Oh! the best I had the other day was "Dont stick your penis in the train door"

Yeah.. ask me 10 years ago if I'd say that I'd think you were nutty!

[lincbeesmom]

Don't put your comb in the toilet.

[lincbeesmom]

Wait until I wipe your butt to touch your balls.

[threetaboos]

" if you bite my nipple one more time, we're done."

[jjsmom80]

is there poop in there?

[kaitkat]

Stop choking yourself! She continues to stick her fingers down her throat I think feeling her gums but she has made herself puke three times its getting old!

[kewii]

"No, you can't have the tequila."

I thought I'd have at least 15 years before I started saying that.

[jtizzay]

This is mommy milk.

Everyday. She wants my milk. She signs milk when she sees my wine. Yikes

[wildhoney4508]

(To DD1) "can you smell Caroline's butt for mommy?" (To see if she pooped)

I'm LOL so loud on the couch here DH keeps asking, "whaaat???"

[zandeela]

" Please don't chew on the toilet lid"
Frequently its " stop chewing /licking on the couch" I never even had to tell the dog that!

[fishbulb]

We've got a new one this week: "Stop eating dirt."

Not that I never imagined saying it, but he's doing it indoors from the houseplants. As soon as the freeze risks are past all of the houseplants are becoming patio plants.

[maganonymous]

"Pancakes are not confetti!" as she grabs handfuls of pancake pieces and makes it rain in the dining room...

[ntdane]

I second @notyourmom on the penis talk. DS1 has made that a commonly used word in this house. Some of my other favorites I can remember right now:

"Stop licking the window!"
"Stop making out with the dog!"
"Stop trying to ride your sister like a pony!" (He's 3, she's 1)