Lets talk.. Jan 18, 2015 14:14:38 GMT -5via mobile
Post by pickles4prez on Jan 18, 2015 14:14:38 GMT -5
My thoughts are this: TB was a great way to find you ladies. I am grateful for that. But at it's core, it's a business. It served a function at one time, but all I really need is a forum - doesn't need to be fancy. I like it here. If we can find a way to keep this community thriving, I'll be here.
I don't think I'll ever return to TB. The way they've treated their community is disgusting.
My questions: How do we keep this community thriving? How do we help other loss moms who need a community, like I did?
Post by skategirl128 on Jan 18, 2015 14:32:32 GMT -5
I found the bump back in 2007. A Google search led me to the community there.
Another simple google search today pulled up the main proboards link on item 3 right after TB and babycenter. I didn't try to find this specific group on proboards- but the proboards link was right there.
I cannot support xo group and so I am not straddling both places. I will not support a business that has no regard for those who have helped them become the business they are today. I am not afraid to boycott stores or other places for their practices either. It's just who I am. I'm not judging those who stay- it's just not for me anymore.
I'm cool with having the blog direct new members here. I'm liking the proboards format much better regardless.
I found the bump back in 2007. A Google search led me to the community there.
Another simple google search today pulled up the main proboards link on item 3 right after TB and babycenter. I didn't try to find this specific group on proboards- but the proboards link was right there.
I cannot support xo group and so I am not straddling both places. I will not support a business that has no regard for those who have helped them become the business they are today. I am not afraid to boycott stores or other places for their practices either. It's just who I am. I'm not judging those who stay- it's just not for me anymore.
I'm cool with having the blog direct new members here. I'm liking the proboards format much better regardless.
This is awesome. This is really awesome to hear.
It's also part of the reason we bought the domain BumpBitches.com- because "bump bitches" are so often discussed on WTE and BBC, that hopefully any time someone goes looking for the drama, they instead get to see who we really are- an amazing community of supportive women.
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Lets talk.. Jan 18, 2015 14:56:19 GMT -5via mobile
Post by pickles4prez on Jan 18, 2015 14:56:19 GMT -5
That is so cool that a Google search will direct people this way! I was wondering but hadn't tried yet.
I really appreciate what you've done for this community, @nariadreaming and everyone else (I don't actually know who else is a part of the group that made this forum!) Side question: is there a place where we can read about the founding members of this forum and the history of its creation?
That is so cool that a Google search will direct people this way! I was wondering but hadn't tried yet.
I really appreciate what you've done for this community, @nariadreaming and everyone else (I don't actually know who else is a part of the group that made this forum!) Side question: is there a place where we can read about the founding members of this forum and the history of its creation?
Tooting my own horn is pretty far down the list of things to do this week I want to make sure that everyone's settled in, that the community rules are finished, and that we have mods in place.
We'll work on writing up the story of the founding after all that's done
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Post by sarcaztic10 on Jan 18, 2015 15:09:34 GMT -5
TB is and always was a business. Businesses are not generally very sensitive to a smaller group of people so I got why they didn't really pay attention or acknowledge the specific needs and triggers of the loss boards. Did I like it? Absolutely not, but I understood their business perspective.
I am really loving our new diggs here on proboards and I plan on staying with you ladies and I hope this community thrives. At this point I think it will with the amount of women that are here and with people helping the normal women who aren't crazy come over from TB to here.
With that being said TTCAL was my home for a year and a half and cutting those strings is proving harder than I thought it would be. TTCAL is in my favorites bar on my phone, home computer, work computer, and laptop. I would keep it up and running in the background at work and check it often. I am steadily transitioning over here but it will take me some time to not immediately pull up TTCAL and want to support the women over there. It is a habit that at this point I am not proud of, I don't want to support XO, but damn it I am having a problem giving up one habit (TB) for another one (GBCB). It will happen for me I will convert to being %100 over here but I need some time to get used to the change.
I hope that makes sense. I am mobile and it's hard to review everything I typed!
Lets talk.. Jan 18, 2015 16:04:27 GMT -5via mobile
Post by rae80407 on Jan 18, 2015 16:04:27 GMT -5
That's what I feel towards the bump. I'd rather be here where expression is accepted and when I ask a question I get an assortment of answers...not sensored bullshit shoved in my face to make me happy. I think its very wrong to ask women who've been through rough things to come share their stories thoughts and experiences but when they do it and bring the raw truth they can't handle it. I'm the way I am because of what I've been through and I don't think the bump could have handled me at my worst so the ladies that do can DAMN SURE have my best!
That being said I have no judgments for those who straddle the boards.. I did for a day or two after the fall..I was super confused and was dying to know what happened so I went where the ladies with the scoop were. But the past few days I've finally went solo gbcb! Also I bring up this board 3rd on Google also so I think well be found by other newbies whose style is more fit for this board. Once they see the feel isn't right for them there they'll get curious what else is out there and come here. #teamgoodbyecruelbump
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Heads up ladies. On the main page all of the categories are now collapsable. And we're working on re-ordering the boards.
But now you can collapse all of the pregnancy/parenting boards into just the main heading so you don't have to scroll past them to get here.
Awesome feature! Thanks for figuring it out!
I don't have a problem with anyone straddling the boards but it personally makes me feel ill to post over there. By the time BumpAdmin posted their "open" discussion, I decided the only way that TB could rectify this situation was to un-ban everyone since the bannings started and give everyone a blank slate going forward - especially after they admitted that things were not done correctly. The attitude that "we can't change the past" was the final straw for me. Any company that fucks up an such an extreme level, acknowledges it but refuses to fix the screw up does not deserve my business.
I said earlier that I support the ladies of the community and community has nothing to do with the URL. It makes it much easier that a large majority of the ladies I care about came here. I'm not tied to a TB URL for giving support.
I know there are concerns about how newbies will find us. I think it's good that GBCB is already showing up in Google searches. I think as we add more content, more hits will happen. Search optimization is important but having posts about the things that newbies look for will help us be found. I also think getting a blog for GBCB that has contributing bloggers at all stages of a TTC journey that can get people following those bloggers would be a good idea.
Lets talk.. Jan 18, 2015 16:41:24 GMT -5via mobile
Post by o2girl on Jan 18, 2015 16:41:24 GMT -5
I'm straddling the fence. Although, I am more active over here. I personally just need a little time to make a full transition. It has to do with all the ladies who have supported me for the last 2 years of my journey through IF and TTCAL. A lot of the ladies I know on IF haven't popped up over here so that makes the transition a little slow for me. I wish everyone would just take the plunge and come over here, but that isn't reasonable, so until I'm ready to leave the stragglers behind for good I'm probably going to occasionally respond to posts and PMs on TB..... But I'm not going to be starting any threads.
I'm straddling the fence. Although, I am more active over here. I personally just need a little time to make a full transition. It has to do with all the ladies who have supported me for the last 2 years of my journey through IF and TTCAL. A lot of the ladies I know on IF haven't popped up over here so that makes the transition a little slow for me. I wish everyone would just take the plunge and come over here, but that isn't reasonable, so until I'm ready to leave the stragglers behind for good I'm probably going to occasionally respond to posts and PMs on TB..... But I'm not going to be starting any threads.
o2girl - it's like you're in my head...for the most part
ok first thing is first, renegadewhit i HATE that boy in your siggy. I don't know what it is about him, but he is probably going to end up a stripper when he's older....
SECOND! I agree with everyone for the most part. I too don't feel a connection to TB URL, it's too the ladies. Most of them are here now, and that makes me really really happy. My only issue is that I run the newb check in over there. It was very helpful for me to be able to check in there when I first had my loss and was so confused/sad/angry etc. I also know that not all newbs are "good" newbs lol. Some of them suck pretty hard and can turn out to be super crazies. So, my thought process is giving my check in on TB to someone else, and starting one over here. OR i can just keep the check in, and recruit new members and hopefully they will want to come asap over here.
Any thoughts on that? I am really torn about what to do. I don't want to give any support to XO, or any of those fucking people who did everyone wrong, But I really really really want to be able to give support to those fresh off a loss.
Lets talk.. Jan 18, 2015 17:29:16 GMT -5via mobile
Post by nikiswimr on Jan 18, 2015 17:29:16 GMT -5
@rslh20 I sorta think you should just start a newbie check-in here. I've been feeling super bad at abandoning the TTCAL community on TB because of how much it helped me after my loss. But I've been thinking that we might better be able to help newbies after a loss here, without dealing with the BS from XO. It made me feel better to know that we're coming up on google so they can find us, I originally planned on straddling but I think I'm here now.
I feel like I am having a hard time cutting ties becaue TTCAL meant so much to me, I am sooo thankful we have this new forum, but it will take me a little bit to be 100% here.
This is how I feel as well. It gets easier as TB turns into a ghost town.
I feel like I am having a hard time cutting ties becaue TTCAL meant so much to me, I am sooo thankful we have this new forum, but it will take me a little bit to be 100% here.
This is how I feel as well. It gets easier as TB turns into a ghost town.
I kind of felt torn at first too because of the connection I have to TTCAL, but as it becomes more of a ghost town, it's becoming easier to not even bother lurking.
I feel like I am having a hard time cutting ties becaue TTCAL meant so much to me, I am sooo thankful we have this new forum, but it will take me a little bit to be 100% here.
This is how I feel as well. It gets easier as TB turns into a ghost town.
Agree 100%.
Also, Rubysi....is that the breaking bad bear? cus if so...I LOVE YOU.
@rslh20 I sorta think you should just start a newbie check-in here. I've been feeling super bad at abandoning the TTCAL community on TB because of how much it helped me after my loss. But I've been thinking that we here might better be able to help newbies after a loss, without dealing with the BS from XO. It made me feel better to know that we're coming up on google so they can find us, if originally planned on straddling but I think I'm here now.
I disagree, the best way, just get posting, it starts the divide allllll over again.
I definitely get that in general and one of the things that I love about this board is that there are no divisions, but I still think it might be beneficial to have a gathering point for Newbies, to learn the culture of the board and to have support in those terrible first couple of weeks. Just my personal opinion
I definitely get that in general and one of the things that I love about this board is that there are no divisions, but I still think it might be beneficial to have a gathering point for Newbies, to learn the culture of the board and to have support in those terrible first couple of weeks. Just my personal opinion
And I disagree, no other boards have one, and plenty of people survived & learned without one, and the board it self should be where people come.
Honestly, I don't really care either way. I like getting to know the Newbs, but I can do that on a mass check in or on the main board. Doesn't matter what so ever to me.
I definitely get that in general and one of the things that I love about this board is that there are no divisions, but I still think it might be beneficial to have a gathering point for Newbies, to learn the culture of the board and to have support in those terrible first couple of weeks. Just my personal opinion
And I disagree, no other boards have one, and plenty of people survived & learned without one, and the board it self should be where people come.
I'm straddling the fence. Although, I am more active over here. I personally just need a little time to make a full transition. It has to do with all the ladies who have supported me for the last 2 years of my journey through IF and TTCAL. A lot of the ladies I know on IF haven't popped up over here so that makes the transition a little slow for me. I wish everyone would just take the plunge and come over here, but that isn't reasonable, so until I'm ready to leave the stragglers behind for good I'm probably going to occasionally respond to posts and PMs on TB..... But I'm not going to be starting any threads.
o2girl - it's like you're in my head...for the most part
You are both in my brain too...
I'm still straddling for the time being. I will probably do the remaining MLL check in for January (here and there) and then hand TB one to someone there. If we are going to continue check ins over here I will then just do them over here.
I just want to make sure all the ladies in the MLL check in have the info for getting here and know that we are (mostly) all here.
Same goes for all of the 6+ ladies. I want to make sure everyone has the info to find us.
But I just wanna say how FUCKING awesome it is GBCB is coming up in Google searches!!! That is KICK ASS!!!
I have been lurking in TB...and was planning on posting the bible study check-in in both places...but now that it has become a ghost town, I am wondering if it is worth it.
I get that XO is a business and has been, but there is still a code of ethics which they, in my mind, violated. And the board was never about the website...it has always been about you ladies.
I have posted there maybe twice since it all went down - mainly because between buying house on Thursday and working this weekend I didn't have time to really find all that happened (so therefore not as upset as others since I wasn't aware of all that happened), set up myself here, and when I'm on a break@ work that's where I head after fb. But now that I had a moment to set up my account here I don't know that I'll go to TB anymore. I will say that there have been several times there were very minor exodus in the past that I was a part of - but nothing ever on this scale of XO making such huge mistakes OR people stepping up so much to create a safe place for everyone. I am deeply impressed with the admins here at what you've done in so little time.
I have posted there maybe twice since it all went down - mainly because between buying house on Thursday and working this weekend I didn't have time to really find all that happened (so therefore not as upset as others since I wasn't aware of all that happened), set up myself here, and when I'm on a break@ work that's where I head after fb. But now that I had a moment to set up my account here I don't know that I'll go to TB anymore. I will say that there have been several times there were very minor exodus in the past that I was a part of - but nothing ever on this scale of XO making such huge mistakes OR people stepping up so much to create a safe place for everyone. I am deeply impressed with the admins here at what you've done in so little time.
Hey Kati!!!!! Congrats on the house and I'm so glad you found us over here!
I have posted there maybe twice since it all went down - mainly because between buying house on Thursday and working this weekend I didn't have time to really find all that happened (so therefore not as upset as others since I wasn't aware of all that happened), set up myself here, and when I'm on a break@ work that's where I head after fb. But now that I had a moment to set up my account here I don't know that I'll go to TB anymore. I will say that there have been several times there were very minor exodus in the past that I was a part of - but nothing ever on this scale of XO making such huge mistakes OR people stepping up so much to create a safe place for everyone. I am deeply impressed with the admins here at what you've done in so little time.
Post by meredithcarole on Jan 18, 2015 21:04:56 GMT -5
I am very torn on the whole affair. Of course I don't like that XO made business decisions that alienated parts of their base and treated multiple moderators with disdain, but I do have fierce loyalty to Petra and Rumbera because they have provided so much knowledge and support for me and I really don't want to leave them. There are women their that need support and for me that has nothing to do with XO and their clicks (yes, I know it benefits them, but I really don't pay them any mind - they are merely a vehicle in my estimation). I hate that there is now a gaping fissure, I hate the thought of having to choose, and I really am not willing to say I choose this person over that one. Again for me XO is background noise, it's the people I care about.
The reason I "introed" this morning was (and I'd like to blame this on hormones, but AF ended yesterday so I think these might be genuine feelings) as a was looking at the TTCAL board I couldn't help think about who was missing and in thinking about it I actually got a little misty eyed. If I were to leave TTCAL right now I'd be leaving part of myself there, but by not coming over here I was feeling a little incomplete. I don't suppose I can "have it all" indefinitely, but for now I am going to straddle the fence.
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