birthday invites

[sanibel21]

I am stressing hard over LOs birthday and who to invite. I can't imagine everyone who went to the shower expects to get an invite, do they?? We've had family and friends who came to the shower who now still haven't met LO. We have new friends who we didn't know at the shower. How do friends without kids feel about birthday parties?? How extended of family do you go? It probably wouldn't be a problem in some families, but I just feel like I won't be able to win any way in my family. And as far as friends go I just don't want to offend or hurt.

[wildhoney4508]

Ugh I feel you, sanibel21. I finally decided to do a friends only party and then a small family one next month. At the advice of someone on this board (I'm sooo sorry I don't remember who) I decided to invite those (friends) who have a been a special part of LO's life since she was born. I didn't invite people I felt obligated to invite and I'm sure I'll subconsciously feel bad about that. I was very picky about who to invite. It's a short list (around 10 families) Essentially they are people who don't stress me out and people DH and I have known for years (aka our friends and their kids) we are hiring a music person DD1 and I took a music class with when she was a baby for entertainment, as well as providing lunch and cake here at our house. I also invited my work bestie who, while she doesn't have kids yet and has been struggling for 2 years and has been through numerous procedures and used "help," she stayed at the hospital with me for 2 hours when C was born and is an amazing person/friend/someone who I know C will be happy to see. It was a stressful decision, but one I'm sticking to. Remember, your baby, so your preferences. No room for stress on that day. It's a celebration of the life you and DH made. If anyone asks, just say you had something small at your house. Do what makes you feel comfortable.

[babycaps]

I regret inviting people from work big time. The party is in 6 days and we are expecting 30 adults and 15 kids! ICK.
It would have been 24 adults if I hadn't invited people from work :/

[younglove316]

I only invited the people who have made an effort to even meet DD or be apart of her life. Which unfortunately means that I didn't invite all of our families, just our aunts & uncles who have been around. As for friends, I invited the ones who are closest to us, most of which who don't have kids but enjoy being around DD.

[lakecountrygal]

We invited DS's grandparents, aunts, uncles, and great grandmothers. We also ended up inviting one of the great aunts and uncles because of FIL. Plus we invited DH's cousin who was in the delivery room (she's basically and aunt though). Only 15 people total counting us, the perfect size for our budget and for DS.

[jtizzay]

We did close family and close friends. Ie same crowd as the baptism

[katka512]

We invited our immediate families, LO's godparents, the families of her two "friends" (really my mom friends), and DH's coworker and family (they have become good friends of ours). I also invited my best friend from high school. He and his wife don't have kids and they are a bit far away so I'm not sure if they will come.
I think you should invite whoever is special to you and LO and whatever number of people you can afford to host. I don't think you should worry about inviting everyone who was at the shower if they aren't a part of your life now. If they get offended, just ask where they were the whole first year of LO's life :-p but really, plan it so you can have fun with your guests!

[bsouls]

I have no idea who all to invite. My boyfriend is going to ask his mom if we should invite his step dad's side of the family - we do holiday breakfasts with them. I can see her saying no, since she is slightly weird - but, I feel like we should. Hopefully, we can figure out who we are inviting this week, so we can get invites out.

I also baked a cake from scratch tonight, to see how it went (it was my first time) and so that way we can let T have some tomorrow to ensure that she doesn't have an allergic reaction. It seems that boxed cakes/frosting can be cross contaminated with peanuts. I figured it was obvious with bakeries, but thought the boxed stuff would be fine. It will also be her first time having anything sweet!

I just looked tonight and I think I am gonna customize M&Ms as a party favor and I found these cute favor boxes.

Next big decision is to settle on the time and what food we are going to serve.

[nattybumppo]

My probably not so helpful advice is do what you feel comfortable with and what won't stress you out. IMO, the first birthday party really isn't about the LO....it's about the parents. Some people love throwing big parties and love having LO's first as an excuse to do that.

I am the very opposite side of that and decided that a first birthday party for DD1 was too stressful for me - I was stressing about which friends/family/etc to invite/not invite and then just said to hell with it - I didn't want it to be a stressful event - and we just did something as just the three of us. I know that's not for everyone, but it worked for us.

You could also do multiple smaller, low key get togethers - one with just family, one with just friends - if that's easier.

When in doubt, if the person hasn't made an effort to be involved with your LOs first year of life, I probably wouldn't invite them.

[maganonymous]

Mar 1, 2015 18:59:02 GMT -5 jtizzay said:

We did close family and close friends. Ie same crowd as the baptism

Exactly this for us too. Both of our immediate families, two or three of our closest friends, DH's aunt and uncle that are closest to us, and LO's babysitter (because LO is the only kid She watches aside from her own). We ate expecting 20-25 people.

In terms of inviting people who came to the shower or not, I wouldn't stress over that. Only about 1/4 of the people that were at our shower are getting invited to the birthday party. I would just go with your gut, and only invite people that have been part of your little one's life.

[Deleted]

Close family and friends are how we do them too..

I mean... I could invite everyone I know- but the more people we invite the more toys we get and we have to many.

[kewii]

I'm stuck on this too. We've invited 5 families so far.

I'm torn about whether or not to invite the kids from daycare. There's only 6 kids total there. And the moms (my coworkers) are great...but...I'm worried because we plan to have a small bar and since drinking is illegal here...I'm not sure I want my coworkers to know about it. They're also hijabis...so I think it's best not to invite them.

[sanibel21]

Thank you for the replies! I would prefer a smaller party. LO gets overwhelmed in crowds (like mommy) and I don't want to seem gift grabby (LO has way too many toys as it is). But the last time we did things our way was when LO was born. We didn't tell extended family until the day we left the hospital because I didn't want a huge parade coming through and people were BULLSHIT. And hurt I guess. So if I didn't invite them to her first birthday it would be history repeating itself. And its such a big extended family. But then there's a flip side that I never go to the extended family birthday parties and people also get bullshit about that. Its such a complicated family dynamic I think. Ugh!!

[karebear]

I invited family and 1 friend and ended up having 25 people show up yesterday. I was a perfect amount. He got some great gifts.

[zandeela]

I got 12 invitations, so only sent out 12. Mostly to family, and a few friends. will be a party for the adults more than the kids. Lo will be one of the two kids in attendance!

[monster]

We're having two parties since I think I would find having too many people at once to be not so fun for anyone. One party with my family, one with MH's. No friends party, we might do that in the future, but it wasn't in the cards this year. I guess I didn't consider other people's feelings when I organized things for LO's bday. I just figure only close family would want to come, other people don't really care, and might be glad to not feel obligated.

[nattybumppo]

Mar 2, 2015 19:21:55 GMT -5 monster said:

We're having two parties since I think I would find having too many people at once to be not so fun for anyone. One party with my family, one with MH's. No friends party, we might do that in the future, but it wasn't in the cards this year. I guess I didn't consider other people's feelings when I organized things for LO's bday. I just figure only close family would want to come, other people don't really care, and might be glad to not feel obligated.

Oooooh, yes, this is sort of what we did with DD1's 2nd and 3rd birthday.  Getting both sides of the family together stresses me out the most so any opportunity to split things across the family is great in my book!

[fish8412]

We invited 33 people, which covers family and close friends. Based on current RSVPs, I am guessing around 22 people are coming. That is the perfect amount in my opinion. Not too many people.

Just invite who you and your husband want there. Stop worrying about everyone else.

[linzerd]

Family and close friends here. 2 of my friends don't have kids, but one is pregnant and the other is trying. They are all bringing their husbands too.

[angelsnight]

We're just doing her grandparents in both sides, aunts and uncles on both sides and our three closest friends and their spouses and kids. So that makes 30 people counting us which is about all we can fit in our house. I would have loved to invite my aunts uncles and cousins that live nearby, but that would have added about 15 more people.

[newmomma8]

Mar 1, 2015 18:59:02 GMT -5 jtizzay said:

We did close family and close friends. Ie same crowd as the baptism

This is us. But we have quite a few close friends and family, so we still had a lot of people there. But I wouldn't have cut anyone off the list. 

[disneyaddict1]

With DS1 first birthday since I didn't get a shower with him (he arrived too early) I invited everyone, like 40 people were in our house! Way too many people. He was overwhelmed, I was overwhelmed. So over the years we've tried different things such as two parties, down sizing the guest list, and this year just we went simple and small. Just the people in our typical crowd whether they have kids or not doesn't matter to us. And it worked out great. DS1 does great because it's all familiar faces and not too many people. It still ends up being around 20ish people but it's sort of unavoidable because the size of our immediate family.

We are doing the same for LO birthday. If anyone asks I just say we decided to keep it small and offer to get together with them at a future date.

[nattybumppo]

Mar 3, 2015 15:10:05 GMT -5 disneyaddict1 said:

With DS1 first birthday since I didn't get a shower with him (he arrived too early) I invited everyone, like 40 people were in our house! Way too many people. He was overwhelmed, I was overwhelmed. So over the years we've tried different things such as two parties, down sizing the guest list, and this year just we went simple and small. Just the people in our typical crowd whether they have kids or not doesn't matter to us. And it worked out great. DS1 does great because it's all familiar faces and not too many people. It still ends up being around 20ish people but it's sort of unavoidable because the size of our immediate family.

We are doing the same for LO birthday. If anyone asks I just say we decided to keep it small and offer to get together with them at a future date.

I like this because small is always a good excuse/truth and if anyone is actually bummed about not seeing your LO, it's an offer to get together with them!  If someone is still offended, then too bad for them.

[Deleted]

I'm inviting Levi, myself and my dh. The other boys will be available for a piece of cake I'm sure! Hope you all have a wonderful time!