My boy is here!

[foodislove]

Hey y'all! Wishiwaspreggo here - changed my SN because I am no longer pregnant in fact, I'm sitting here with my son on my lap holding on to his hands so he stops trying to scratch at his lovely face.

Graham Jeffrey was born on February 5th when I was a mere 35 weeks pregnant. I was trying to collect my urine for a 24 hour preeclampsia test when I felt something that didn't feel like urine gush out. It kept coming out in gushes so I called out to C that I thought my water was breaking. It happened at 11 pm on the 4th during a snow storm. So it was fun getting to the hospital. Turns out it was indeed my water breaking. Active labor started the next morning and after 20 minutes of pushing I was holding my son at 1:32 pm! He was 6 pounds 5 ounces, 21 inches long. He had a tongue tie issue so he couldn't latch despite my best efforts. He was so small (big for a preemie but still little) and I was distressed that I couldn't feed him. The nurses have me some donor milk and gave me a Medela Symphony to drag out my milk. After 2 days of endless pumping my colostrum came in and I started feeding him that. Now I'm an EPer and it's been working out well.

So now I have a question... C obviously needs to become his legal parent soon. We're planning to get married on our anniversary on March 11th. Does anyone know if legal marriage automatically confers any parental rights for C? Is second parent adoption any easier after marriage?

Sorry I haven't contributed much to this board recently! I'll try to do better! I hope everyone is well. I'll be reading through the recent posts!

[amberreva]

Congratulations on the birth of your son!! I have no answer for your questions an am actually in the same boat. Although in MA I can put R on the birth certificate we were trying to have a shot gun marriage prior to baby arriving but the day we had an appointment with the JOP something came up with baby so we needed to have an u/s at the same time we were scheduled to get married. Now we are being induced tomorrow and R is working straight up until induction. So we will be getting married after baby arrives and I am hoping it will give her the same legal protections as it would have given her if we were to have gotten married prior to baby's arrival. Again congrats!!!

[healz413]

Congratulations!!!

[kh826]

Congratulations on the birth of your son!

[RM80]

Congratulations!!! As for your other question, I think it's still very state specific and until it's universal across the board I think second parent adoption is really the best protection. Suggest a consult with a local attorney- we did one for $100 and got information.

[mrsnorris]

Congratulations!!! I can only speak for NY and CA but marriage does not extend parental rights to your spouse in those states. I adopted DD1 as a single parent legally before DW and I were (or could be) legally married where we lived. I am still DD1's only legal parent. We are both on DD2's birth certificate so it's a non-issue. I do think marriage is almost a prerequisite for second parent adoption from my limited research. It's still a PITA but do-able. If you're not married a lot of places won't do it.
Disclaimer: I am in no way a lawyer so you shouldn't make any decisions based on this- just sharing my experience.

[PiradicalMaid]

Congratulations! I don't know about for every state, but my understanding about how it works in mine is that second parent adoption would be your best bet at this point.

[RM80]

Also from what I've read even 2 parents on a birth certificate isn't always enough as those are state documents and not every state has to recognize it.

It's amazing the crazy things we have to consider to be parents!

[megd893]

Congratulations on the birth of your son. I'm so glad to hear you're both healthy!
In Canada, being married will automatically make K Leo's other parent and she'll go on his birth certificate. I wish that all you guys (my US friends) had this luxury. Knowing what little I know about what you have to go through, I certainly don't take it for granted.

[foodislove]

Thanks everyone! We do plan to seek the counsel of a lawyer. I just wish it was as easy as getting married but they have to make it as difficult as possible it seems. I'm holding on to hope that same sex marriage will be legalized across the nation after SCOTUS makes their ruling in April.

[sdfonz619]

Congratulations!!

[karlamo]

Congrats! What a big boy for 35 weeks!

I agree with others and would say it varies state to state. For us we live in Mass, are legally married, did reciprocal IVF, and still did adoption to cover us in all 50 states.
Our lawyer explained to us that bc are just records of someone's birth and they alone do not guarantee you rights. Birth Certificates can be challenged in court where finalized adoption can not. Good luck with everything!

[twomoms]

How exciting! Congratulations! Isn't the symphony an awesome pump! I love mine too. I'm not sure the answer to your question, but I'm fairly certain you will have to do second parent adoption if your wife is not on the birth certificate.

[wittyandwaiting]

Congratulations! I'm in Canada as well so it's a nonissue here, being married or common-law automatically makes your partner the other legal parent and legally entitled to a position on the child's birth certificate.

I'm so sorry that the process in isn't as easy or fair for everybody.

[crazyaunt84]

Congratulations!! Welcome to the world, little guy!

[2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)]

Congrats!!
20 mins!! They told me an hr and 15 was short lol.